Tough spot for your friend...
I think it does not matter what anyone's definition is and least of all what the State says unloaded means... What does matter is what her definition is (I would not try to argue or show her that "she is wrong" on that definition unless he is looking for a bigger argument/fight)
My response would have been... Talk it over with the wife and find out what she wants but most importantly "why" she is against it... You can't start a negotiation if you don't know what are the interest of the other person... Try and arrive to something thy can both live with and try to work on that reason why his wife is against a loaded gun
My wife use to be anti gun when I bought my first gun because of the kids. It took a while but I just kept showing story after story of home invasions and would make NO comment after that about a gun. Eventually she was fine with the gun but she didn't want it loaded in the house. So I started showing story after story and statistic after statistic about close range reaction time and the 21 foot rule for reaction time from an attacker and eventually she came around too. I now have my guns bedside and my wife has her own CZ with tac light next to her pillow. It took time but if my wife came around so can she. Anger won't help the situation so there needs to be some middle ground until she feels comfortable with the situation. I would see if she is comfortable with the slide locked back and loaded mag next to it. And then practice practice practice loading the mag and releasing the slide over and over again. Eventually she will get over her fear and become comfortable with it inthe house and then you can progress from there.
Just my .02
now is the time for that friend to be practicing (anti) family planning.
his choice is to bow, now and forever more to her or wave good-by to her