Drunks and guns.... am I overreacting?

This is a discussion on Drunks and guns.... am I overreacting? within the Basic Gun Handling & Safety forums, part of the General Firearm Discussion category; .... to put a long story short, my mother remarried an alcoholic after I was grown. There was a lot going on that week -- ...

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 29
Like Tree12Likes

Thread: Drunks and guns.... am I overreacting?

  1. #1
    New Member Array Moriah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Arkansas
    Posts
    13

    Drunks and guns.... am I overreacting?

    .... to put a long story short, my mother remarried an alcoholic after I was grown. There was a lot going on that week -- my grandmother's funeral was a few days before -- and while drunk, my stepfather got into it with a friend of mine on the front lawn of my mother and stepfather's property. (This is Arkansas, and the friend is the same one who rode in the family car to my grandmother's funeral as my honorary brother.)

    My mother and I were indoors in the kitchen, listening, when my stepfather entered the home and with extreme determination walked to the back bedroom. I could see the look on his face, and told Mom that I knew he was going after his firearm. Mother didn't believe he would ever do such a thing, but sure enough he came out of the bedroom with his pistol. His intent was to go outside and wave it at my friend to intimidate him -- not to actually use the firearm.

    Knowing brandishing in Arkansas can be considered aggravated assault whether the firearm is loaded or not if the gun is taken outside the home, I prepared to dial 911 on my cell, acted to get my friend to step off of the property line by yelling through the front door for him to step off the lawn onto the curb (which he did immediately) and placed myself between my stepfather and the front door to the home.

    I then turned and saw my mother pleading with him to please put down the gun, within range to attempt to take it out of his hand, though I don't recall her actually attempting to disarm him. I used an extremely firm voice (which may have been closer to a yell, I was kind of in an adrenaline rush right then) and told him to put the gun down NOW. Which he did. The incident ended mostly peaceably, though my stepfather was still aggressive toward both myself and my friend (who, like an chivalrous idiot, jumped back onto the property when it appeared that I was in danger -- I'm 5'1 and 105 lbs at 32 -- and just made things worse). I knew he knew better than to hit me on the front porch, he was just going to yell a bit... and if he had struck me, well... I know it'd break my mom's heart to see her husband in jail, but I'd have no problems swearing out a warrant.

    -----------

    While part of me is thinking "All's well that end's well," there's another, very strong part of me that is terrified to enter that house again. He and I have always struck sparks. Alcohol impairs judgment, and since he appears to always be drunk -- he's at the point in the disease where he has to "drink himself sober" in the morning -- I never know what to expect from him. He still denies that there is anything wrong at all with brandishing a firearm at someone in his front lawn with no intent to shoot and no threat to anyone's life or property from the person involved, or that handling firearms while intoxicated is a Bad Idea Entirely.

    Given the trauma of that week, added to the extreme adrenaline.... well, this was a line for me. But am I overreacting by being terrified of going back there? I've told Mom that I love her dearly and will be happy to meet with her any time I am in town to have lunch or dinner or take her to the movies, and if he doesn't have his firearm her husband is free to come along, but even thinking about entering that house again makes me start to go into a miniature panic attack. I know it's PTSD and have been working with a therapist to address it (a little over a month prior to this incident I was sexually assaulted and had already been diagnosed with PTSD because of the assault, this just threw fuel on the fire).

    But .... would you re-enter a home where you were placed into physical danger by a drunk waving a gun around?

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    VIP Member
    Array msgt/ret's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    7,143
    Since a therapist is already treating you for PTSD I believe it would be a very bad idea to return there. As you suggest I would meet with your mother anywhere but at home.
    ccw9mm and Hoganbeg like this.
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

  4. #3
    Member
    Array discoboxer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    332
    Stepfather sounds like a very unstable man with a high chance that another unsafe situation could erupt. I would continue to do as you are talking and avoid going on to the property. It's tough because it's your mom and she may need help from time to time, but be straight with her about your intentions.

    It would not be overreacting, it would be smart.
    tricolordad likes this.
    “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
    ― Albert Einstein

  5. #4
    Member Array tricolordad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    New Richmond, Wisconsin
    Posts
    490
    Sorry to hear that happened to you. I think youre pretty boned in this situation. I grew up in an abusive household, went to abusive foster homes and even worse group homes after that. Most of the adults in charge during my childhood were alcoholics and pill poppers. Best thing to do is tell your mother how you feel about her husband and walk away. Continuing to see her after that would be telling her that you support her decision to marry an alcoholic who most likely will abuse her.

  6. #5
    Member Array skew12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    52
    Stay away from him before someone gets killed. Whether it be you, your friend, or him. That type of behavior leads to bad things.


    Also the cops should know about that incident.
    tricolordad likes this.

  7. #6
    VIP Member
    Array OldVet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    S. Florida, north of the Miami mess, south of the Mouse trap
    Posts
    15,903
    Tell Mom to exit, stage left, before she's teh drunk's next intended victim.
    Hoganbeg and Hopyard like this.
    Retired USAF E-8. Remember: You're being watched!
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

  8. #7
    Ex Member Array barstoolguru's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    under a rock in area 51
    Posts
    2,548
    .... to put a long story short, my mother remarried an alcoholic after I was grown.

    that says it all... stay out of it... she made her choice
    BkCo1 likes this.

  9. #8
    Ex Member Array Harryball's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Lansing Mi
    Posts
    6,960
    All of the above is very good advise. You should take it.

    I will give you what I did. I beat the living hell out of the man. I still have the scars on my fist, from the beat down that I placed on this individual. The rage inside could not be controlled. Im not saying what I did was right, just saying that for me it worked. Some times a man has to be a man a put another man in his place. Good, bad, right, or wrong, sometimes it works......
    blitzburgh and tricolordad like this.

  10. #9
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    15,177
    If It was me,during the time it happened I would have called 911 when nobody was looking,then I would have filled out a statement that the Drunk was in possession of a firearm and intended to confront X with it IOW I would have done everything in my power to get his gun taken away,and make sure he never legally owned another.
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    26,044
    Overreaction? Sounds more like wisdom to me.

    According to your description, he's a bit of a powder keg; he's a known alcoholic; he's known to be vicious and unstable when drunk; he threatened you directly.

    Your other family members can have all the "relationship" with him they like. But, that doesn't mean you must.

    I think you're doing fine. Think it through. Seek out the obvious landmines. Avoid the obvious trouble spots. And if your lives were threatened, or you feel they easily could be based on his unstable aggressive constitution, consider going armed always (if you're not already doing so).

    Be safe.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  12. #11
    Member Array DrahtDog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    160
    Stay away from there. It aint worth dying for. My great grandpa was the same way, except he would actually fire on people. He grazed my great grandmas head and when he sobered up realized how far gone he was and quit. I can definitely say if I was ever in a situation like with shots fired it would have been game over for him.

  13. #12
    Distinguished Member Array Once's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    florida
    Posts
    1,549
    Leave and don't look back. See mom on your terms, period.
    Not worth it to you or your friend. Your stepfather is an accident waitng to happen. Be there for your mom when it does.
    Good luck.

  14. #13
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    7,636
    Sorry if I"m wrong.... but as soon as you went into the PTSD .... the "troll" sign and BS sign jumped up.
    I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers ---
    Chief Justice John Roberts : "I don't see how you can read Heller and not take away from it the notion that the Second Amendment...was extremely important to the framers in their view of what liberty meant."

  15. #14
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    26,044
    Quote Originally Posted by Eagleks View Post
    Sorry if I"m wrong.... but as soon as you went into the PTSD .... the "troll" sign and BS sign jumped up.
    To be fair ... PTSD or not, if the behaviors occurred as described (and that's the situation the discussion's faced with), then those behaviors are best avoided. At least, until they're better understood and/or under control.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  16. #15
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    7,636
    Quote Originally Posted by ccw9mm View Post
    To be fair ... PTSD or not, if the behaviors occurred as described (and that's the situation the discussion's faced with), then those behaviors are best avoided. At least, until they're better understood and/or under control.
    It wasn't just the PTSD, it was the "pile on" of things that trolls tend to utilize, while giving strange examples and limiting choices.

    I have a simple philosophy, I don't include jerks, stupid people, people who want to fight or take on the world, who are drunks and do stupid things, and people with firearms that have no business with them..... in my list of people to visit and be friends with. Eliminating "drama" in my life, is a definite objective of mine.... due to living too long with my Ex.
    Maynard and ccw9mm like this.
    I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers ---
    Chief Justice John Roberts : "I don't see how you can read Heller and not take away from it the notion that the Second Amendment...was extremely important to the framers in their view of what liberty meant."

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Search tags for this page

drunks and handguns

,

drunks with firearms

,

drunks with guns pic in florida

,

drunks with guns stories

,

on my front lawn come and take my second amendment quote

,

overreacting gun

Click on a term to search for related topics.