To forgive my father or not.

[aznav]

My heart aches for you. I have seen this played out way too many times. A friend gave me this quote: "Bitterness is the poison we drink hoping someone else will die." There is not much I can add that has not already been wisely said. I have come to know in the first person that only my Higher Power can give me the strength to forgive. But, oh, the weight that finally comes off when I do. I will literally pray that God gives you wisdom in this most difficult journey.

ps. The week I finally released my transgressors to God I remembered their own family dynamics: alcohol, physical abuse, abandonment, raging or absent father, stolen inheritance, etc. It helped me understand a little of why they were so hateful toward me.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[CLASS3NH]

I would go see him It would relieve you of any turmoil you may have had or may will have after he passes.
I would go with the thought that your Father may ask YOU to forgive HIM for all the water that has passed over the dam.
If nothing happens between the two of you, then at least you can say you were there in his final hours and you were there. It may not bother you now, but later, you can only have a one sided conversation with a grave stone
. Just my .02 worth

[GrandBob]

Forgiveness works as much for the giver as the taker. In some cases more.

Dont let another night pass without doing the deed.