My heart aches for you. I have seen this played out way too many times. A friend gave me this quote: "Bitterness is the poison we drink hoping someone else will die." There is not much I can add that has not already been wisely said. I have come to know in the first person that only my Higher Power can give me the strength to forgive. But, oh, the weight that finally comes off when I do. I will literally pray that God gives you wisdom in this most difficult journey.
ps. The week I finally released my transgressors to God I remembered their own family dynamics: alcohol, physical abuse, abandonment, raging or absent father, stolen inheritance, etc. It helped me understand a little of why they were so hateful toward me.