Might lose another job due to the way I am (long post)

This is a discussion on Might lose another job due to the way I am (long post) within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by Ice Man Go get a CDL and drive truck, Im serious! ^^^^^^^It sounded as if the OP had a disability requiring surgery, ...

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Thread: Might lose another job due to the way I am (long post)

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ice Man View Post
    Go get a CDL and drive truck, Im serious!
    ^^^^^^^It sounded as if the OP had a disability requiring surgery, somewhere in the future; I believe this would preclude them from doing this?
    I am in the write a book camp, Medical billing camp; and also, follow up on the advice from those who advised on checking into the laws against discrimiation


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  3. #17
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    What we have here is an obviously intelligent and articulate individual who is having a hard time getting and keeping a job because of some appearance issue related to his cerebral palsy. Through a series of disappointment, he now not only is worried about losing his job, but he is sounding sort of down in the dumps--which is understandable.

    I have no specific suggestions but want to point out and somewhat repeat what others have suggested.

    1) Try out Toastmasters and other groups designed to help people become both more outgoing and friendly. There is no harm in trying these things out and they may benefit you tremendously. Being "charming" or outgoing is something one can learn to do.

    2) The ADA was revised and the new law was signed by President Bush in Nov. 2008. It is now ADAA (ADA Amended). The full implementing regulations published by EEOC have not yet been approved by OPM, the final regs should have been out about a month ago at least, but the law is the law, and it is much much much more favorable to folks than the old one. Do some net searching and learn the text of the Amended ADA and the proposed EEOC implementing regulations so that you know what is in there which might protect you.

    You need to talk to your employer about what both of you might do to make you be able to do your job. You might work on not looking mad
    and unfriendly, while your employer might be able to somehow make that issue less of an anxiety provoking one for you--- perhaps his just acknowledging that you both are aware of the problem and that you are working on it will be enough to deflect complaints. If your boss gets on board he could simply tell a complaining customer that you are a really good nice guy and looks sometimes deceive.

    3) There are a large number of books available in libraries, new and used book stores, which might help you with both the self-esteem issues and the career issues. Seek them out.

    I do think it is very difficult to make a living as a writer so that goal should not be your day job. But work on your writing. If it is in you, the talent will come out. From your post it seems it might be in you if the creativity is there as well.

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  4. #18
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    I second Toastmasters!

    I was once very shy, introverted, self-conscious and painfully quiet. Toastmasters and a lot of work and that is all manageable now.

  5. #19
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    Thanks everyone for the feedback. I talked to one of my instructors at the school I attend and she told me about a federal work study that I might be eligible for so I can work at the campus helping out with facility maintenance. I'd get paid more and a few more hours than I did working at the office supply store.

    I accept who I am and I'm not going to focus on the things I cannot do but focus on the things I can do and strive to be the best I can be at them. Yes I still have some self esteem issues but I've come a long way since I transitioned from being a shy little kid to an adult that well is still quiet but not as much lol.

    I don't have very many friends nor do I want many friends because I feel that could lead to some problems. I am thankful for the ones I have as well as caring family members who understand me. I get my introvert personality from my Mother and my ability to write extremely well from my Father and I am okay with that, its just who I am.

    Thanks again everyone!
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    You like to write + you like guns= become a firearms journalist
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  7. #21
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    It is difficult to find a job and career that is financially rewarding, engaging, and that you can stand. We all struggle to find the correct balance.

    I don't think it is ADA lawsuit time. No good will come of it for you or your employer.

    If you work hard, are honest, and make a genuine effort, you will find your place. :)
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  8. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by SubNine View Post
    Thanks everyone for the feedback. I talked to one of my instructors at the school I attend and she told me about a federal work study that I might be eligible for so I can work at the campus helping out with facility maintenance. I'd get paid more and a few more hours than I did working at the office supply store.

    I accept who I am and I'm not going to focus on the things I cannot do but focus on the things I can do and strive to be the best I can be at them. Yes I still have some self esteem issues but I've come a long way since I transitioned from being a shy little kid to an adult that well is still quiet but not as much lol.

    I don't have very many friends nor do I want many friends because I feel that could lead to some problems. I am thankful for the ones I have as well as caring family members who understand me. I get my introvert personality from my Mother and my ability to write extremely well from my Father and I am okay with that, its just who I am.

    Thanks again everyone!
    Good lord, you ARE me. Actually, I have a different problem-set, but there are some similarities that I hope you find helpful.

    I made my first friend in 2008, at the age of 44. I'm married, and love my wife and daughters deeply, but I just could not connect with people outside of my very immediate family, except on a very surface level.

    I'll have to tell you that making a friend is hard. It's much harder than not making a friend. After making this one friend, I made one other, and then reacquainted myself with someone I used to know who offered friendship, but which I rejected.

    I still go back and forth about whether it's worth it to have friends. As you insinuated, it is very easy to hurt your friends because of what you do or who you are. It also sucks in that sometimes friends leave or friendship fades. My first friend still keeps in touch with me, but our relationship ebbs and flows, and when it's in the ebb phase, it is agony.

    What I've found, though, is that friends can help, where family cannot, lots of times. There are lots of things I cannot tell my family, because it would overly alarm them, that I can now tell my friends.

    Quote Originally Posted by nutz4utwo View Post
    It is difficult to find a job and career that is financially rewarding, engaging, and that you can stand. We all struggle to find the correct balance.

    I don't think it is ADA lawsuit time. No good will come of it for you or your employer.

    If you work hard, are honest, and make a genuine effort, you will find your place. :)
    Trust me; you do not want to work for someone who doesn't understand and compensate for who you are. ADA lawsuits are expensive, take forever, and you will develop a bad reputation if you go that way. I like your attitude about finding something where who you are is not an issue.

  9. #23
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    What level of education do you have already?
    I noticed your profile says you're in Anchorage, Alaska. There are two military bases right there. You should check for job availabilities there. The good thing about government jobs, is the benefits, specifically medical. With something like cerebral palsey, I can only imagine there are significant expenses that go with it.
    Let me know if something like that interests you, and I'll try and find their civilian hiring info for you.
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  10. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by MSteve View Post
    What level of education do you have already?
    I noticed your profile says you're in Anchorage, Alaska. There are two military bases right there. You should check for job availabilities there. The good thing about government jobs, is the benefits, specifically medical. With something like cerebral palsey, I can only imagine there are significant expenses that go with it.
    Let me know if something like that interests you, and I'll try and find their civilian hiring info for you.
    I did graduate High School back in 03 and I attended a business/vocational school and received a certificate for their Business Office Specialist program. I'm good with operating computers and using Microsoft Office but actually maintaining them.. not so much. I am in school now majoring in medical billing and coding so hopefully I can get the hip replacement I need at a reduced cost. I plan to bill and code for an orthopedic clinic so that might be beneficial.
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