I wanted to join the military when I was a kid. I could give you a million reasons why it didn't happen but the long and short of it is that I chickened out. If I wanted it bad enough I could have had it but I took those excuses and ran with them and some of them were darned good excuses. I took the path of least resistance and while it has led me to many wonderful things in my life it has left me wondering "what if" and regretting that which I never did.
For me, it's not about the money or the benefits. I think I'd still do this even if I got payed a dollar a week. I want the challenge. I want to be pushed out of my comfort zone, broken down and built back up to something bigger and better than myself. I want to give back to my country and earn the freedoms I take for granted. I want to earn the title I've respected and loved for so long.
Upon sharing that with my husband he just laughed and said, "Then you chose the right branch."
I'll admit that I'm a bit afraid.
Perhaps I'm afraid that I'm not doing this for the right reasons. Perhaps I'm afraid of what this will do to my family. Perhaps I'm afraid of how much I will miss my husband and my son. Maybe I'm afraid of the uncertainty of it all. Maybe I'm afraid I'll hate it. I know I'm afraid of failure.
I heard once that courage is not the absence of fear. It's being afraid and acting anyway.
I need a good dose of action.
So, today, at 1500 (3:00 pm), I took action and repeated the oath of enlistment into the United States Marine Corps Reserve and vowed to defend the Constitution of the United States of America from all enemies foreign and domestic.
The next step is onto those yellow footprints in mid October.
Swearing in while my son looks on.