'Nice to see you back, GBK. Thank you for the update.
This is a discussion on For my Brother...... RIP Johnny, I'll miss you. within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I really appreciate all the kind words, again, you folks are awesome. A quick update to my situation regarding the loss of my family member. ...
I really appreciate all the kind words, again, you folks are awesome.
A quick update to my situation regarding the loss of my family member. I have received some much needed counseling by both loved ones and a professional regarding the circumstances surrounding his passing. Through that help I have come to grips with what was and still is to a degree really bothering me about not being there for John. I had a huge amount of pent up guilt about not being there for him when he needed someone, and it was very difficult to come to grips with that aspect of his passing. What has helped me out tremendously is the fact that during my adult life I have always been in the state of Georgia and always easy to locate if anyone really wanted to find me. Knowing that, I have been able to put most all of the guilt aside and focus on the sorrow of his passing followed with fond memories of him during the good times in our lives, there may not have been a lot of um, but there was a few.
Anyway, to the update. After all the dust cleared from the terrible news, I found a new found vigor in relocating my two remaining brothers, determined that the internet never caught me off guard like this again. It started out about the same way with dead-end after dead-end. Then my wife was talking to a member of her family in Charleston SC. My wife was telling her what had happened and she said that she sure wished we would have contacted her sooner about this. She told my wife that provided any of my family members had ever applied for credit she was sure she could locate them. Anyway, long story short. My wife gave her my brothers full names and within just a few minutes she told us over the phone his last known address and phone number. After we hung up, we tried the number with no luck, outa service. We both got ready and hit the highway to go to the address given and hopped that the number was the only thing that was not still good. It was some distance to the address, but being that the phone number was not in service I felt it was better than no chance at all. When we got to the address the fence surrounding the home had NO TRESPASSING signs all over the place and I was pretty cautious about proceeding onto the property. Actually, I backed down the gravel drive and turned to leave and my wife said; Steve, surly your not going to drive for an hour only to turn away now? With that in mind I told myself that who ever lived there would surly understand why I would disregard the signs and enter anyway.
When I pulled up to the house I was expecting someone to come right out and ask what I wanted. They never did, so I walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A young man answered the door and I could clearly see that it wasn't my brother or anyone that I could recognize through a family resemblance. The young man was in his late to middle twenties best guess; I ask him if he knew my brother and he said no. Right then my heart sank and I thought, I had once again found a dead end. About that time his mother walked up and so did the father. The father ask me again my brothers name. I told him and he said, no....., I know a George Smith, but he goes by Pat and that's how I've known him for the last ten years or so. About that time the wife said, he looks like Pat, and the young man said yeah!, I was gonna say that too. I ask the father what was the last name the he knew him by and then it all feel into place. He had taken his wife's last name for some reason and that's what he was going under as apposed to our adopted name . Wholly crap! I then got really excited and began to ask if they knew where I could find him. The father said for me to come on in and he'd give him a call. He made a call or two, but wasn't able to reach anyone, so there was a little disappointment there, but they did give me the last known phone number they had and it was still a working number; there was still hope that the lead would pay off. We left a message on the voicemail and hopped for the best. We discussed the situation with the family there for a short time, then decided to head home and wait for a call back from either my brother or the family we had spoken to with news of his whereabouts.
Later that evening he called. I told him what had happened and consoled him the best I could over the phone. We talked for well over an hour and setup a time to meet the next day. He told me that our younger brother was now living with him and his wife and that they were all doing fine. The next day we got together and talked for a long time. We even managed to laugh a little here and there. In the end we promised each other to never disappear for any length of time again, and no matter how crappy our childhood was, we didn't have to let it ruin our adult life with each other and our families. I've learned such a valuable lesson from what I consider a tragedy in my life. IMO, the system made us pretty much disgruntled, aggressive and not very trusting when it comes to most people and our everyday life. Thankfully I found a good wife at an early age, and through her love and the love of her family learned to keep my aggression and anger in check; for the most part. This might help explain some of my previous post in the "what would you do if" threads, and my over-all approach to violent predators. (Kill um all and let God sort it out). With the help of this site and it's members, I feel I have grown some in that area as well.
Anyway, again thanks to you all! it's none of my business, but if any of you have a situation anywhere close to this; I'd like to save you what pain and dismay that I can. Tell um you love um ASAP, even if they don't say it back in return. Life's way to short, and guilt is a tremendous burden on a good hearted person.
Cheers to all.
'Nice to see you back, GBK. Thank you for the update.
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Prayin' GBK, so very sorry for your loss bro.
ALWAYS carry! - NEVER tell!
"A superior Operator is best defined as someone who uses his superior
judgement to keep himself out of situations that would require a display of his
This should give everyone pause including myself...sorry for your loss,also thanks for sharing.