This is a discussion on We've Won a Battle But Not the War within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by limatunes my sister left her emotionally abusive husband of several years and moved in with a man who started to physically abuse ...
I had a male co-worker whose wife would throw heavy iron skillets at him.
Anyway, sorry to hear about this particular problem and hope the Lima family gets it all sorted out for her sister.
My wife and I had a friend that went through an abusive relationship. It was very hard being able to see it so clearly and not have them see it. She was able to break away when her son became involved. You may want to try to approach your sister from that angle, do it to protect her child. It is a lot like an alcoholic , until they reach bottom and admit it to themselves nothing will change. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it but offer her support. Glad that you were able to take care of your life and it was a big surprise that you were ever there.
I'm sorry to hear that you, and your sister have gone through that. I have to say that I'm glad to hear that you have broken the cycle, and that you're trying to help her do the same.
I do know how you feel though- my aunt has terrible taste in men. I can't count how many she's had to deal with, and made the rest of the family deal with.
Madea was right though; a hot pot of grits will quickly change his attitude.
"Gun control should mean hitting your target every time."
Please try to remember- I have a very dry sense of humor. It usually sounds mean, but isn't meant to be.
Many folks have said it well already.
You are not going to change her unless she REALLY wants to change in the first place.
Masochistic behavior does tend to perpetuate itself.
All you can do is be supportive unless it ends up impacting you negatively. You have to put yourself first or you will be of no help to her.
Sometimes you just have to (as they say in AA) "Let go, Let God."
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
- Roy Batty