Partner, I know a similar story. Dad left this past November. I'm at Mom's place tonight doing some chores and loading the last of Dad's loading bench, etc. It ain't over till it's over and then guess what...it still ain't over thank God. I understand that the sun didn't shine the way you'd hoped but it did shine. Let it in however it comes. It's all good brother, all good. It hurts, but it's alright.