Long day, long week.

Long day, long week.

This is a discussion on Long day, long week. within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; When you think you've seen all there is to the depth of evil there is always another floor. Last week a very precious young lady ...

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Thread: Long day, long week.

  1. #1
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    Long day, long week.

    When you think you've seen all there is to the depth of evil there is always another floor. Last week a very precious young lady that any father would be proud to call a daughter was diagnosed with a severe and fast spreading form of cancer. Three young children in tow. I'm not a crier, I'm really not, but I cried with her on the phone last week. So hard and so unfair.

    In our work we have seen the very good and the very bad of humanity. Yesterday I saw a cavern of evil yawn open that seemed to have no bottom. This precious girl, whose life is nothing but one round of kindness and service after another, is on borrowed time. In fact, I'm ashamed to say I thought it was a show. No one is that kind. No one is that thoughtful. Wrong!

    Her father bailed on the marriage when she was ten, leaving her and two other siblings to fend for themselves, along with their mother. Of course, he picked up a trophy bride. He is also a very rich man. Very rich. Out of nowhere, he and his wife fly to her home, unannounced and drop in for a visit. "Becky" was both fearful and hopeful. Her dad is a violent man but maybe, just maybe, he is going to come through for her. Maybe it took terminal cancer to get his hardened heart's attention. Would that it were so.

    In the literal middle of her chemo treatments, vomiting, and losing her hair, he sits down next to her bed and announces that, as sad as they are for her condition, they will not be able to offer any financial help. You see, he has several college funds set up for the new family as well as his own retirement fund that he just can't touch without severe penalties. She never asked him to come. She never asked for a penny.

    I keep thinking that one day I will adjust and get used to this type of betrayal that is done over and over to innocent children. In my mind I had already purchased my ticket and packed my heat to remove this malignancy from mother earth. However, I am reminded that Court will be in session one day and my pitiful attempts at balancing the scales will look silly. That is his daughter. Those are his grandchildren. It is interesting to note that Jesus hints that there are actually levels of hell. And who are the worst offenders that will get the full penalty for their evil? Those who cause little children to stumble and fall.
    "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Eccl. 10:2


  2. #2
    Senior Member Array Devilsclaw's Avatar
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    That is a sad story, to be sure, and I sympathize. Don't know these folks, but I would point out that there are always 2 sides to every story, and you have probably only heard one side of it. Makes one wonder what her mother did to cause this man to do this, at least to me. Unless this lady is much older than you imply, he was likely legally forced to support the mom through child support, and not left to "fend for themselves", at least not in the last 20 yrs. Just trying to point out that sometimes, mothers do things so dispicable that the father just has to get away, but even close friends and family never know what that mother said or did to cause it or contribute to it. Other times it is just the father is a rat. One never knows.

    Bottom line, is that you can do what you can for her, and pray for her, and love her the best you can. Don't waste your heart and energy harboring hate and bad feelings toward this man. Too bad he didn't stay away, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

    All the best, thoughts and prayers her way, and yours too.
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    I could never understand how BOTH men and women will do this(marry and have more children after getting a divorce) and "moving on" so to speak. They cannot fully understand the implications that their actions will have because they hear and see from society a message that says"to hell with everyone else", make yourself "happy" first, and that they are entitled to whatever it is they feel they deserve.

    Horrible story. May the Lord watch over this mom and her children.
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    I hate cancer. I really, really hate it.
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    VIP Member Array Brad426's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayTee View Post
    I hate cancer. I really, really hate it.
    Strong words.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devilsclaw View Post
    That is a sad story, to be sure, and I sympathize. Don't know these folks, but I would point out that there are always 2 sides to every story, and you have probably only heard one side of it. Makes one wonder what her mother did to cause this man to do this, at least to me. Unless this lady is much older than you imply, he was likely legally forced to support the mom through child support, and not left to "fend for themselves", at least not in the last 20 yrs. Just trying to point out that sometimes, mothers do things so dispicable that the father just has to get away, but even close friends and family never know what that mother said or did to cause it or contribute to it. Other times it is just the father is a rat. One never knows.

    Bottom line, is that you can do what you can for her, and pray for her, and love her the best you can. Don't waste your heart and energy harboring hate and bad feelings toward this man. Too bad he didn't stay away, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

    All the best, thoughts and prayers her way, and yours too.
    You are certainly on the money, DC, in moving past this and reserving emotion and energy in doing what we can for Becky. There is more to this story and I have followed it for many years. Regardless of where the mother is in all of this, it does not give license to the father to walk away from his children. After 30+ years of wading through the sewers of dysfunction (present company included), I believe that this world would be a radically different place if fathers were providers and protectors of their families.
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    "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Eccl. 10:2

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    Quote Originally Posted by JayTee View Post
    I hate cancer. I really, really hate it.
    You and me both, JT. Who hasn't been touched/devastated by cancer? My best friend lost his young daughter to cancer and I lost my high school best friend to it. That's just for starters.
    "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Eccl. 10:2

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    I'm praying for this family, this morning.

    This is promise from our Lord, that one day... "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4
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    Prayers will go out for this brave young woman. It's hard to understand why things happen as they do. I know I struggled when I lost my middle son. Trying to figure out why God would let someone just 25, newly married and getting ready to start their adult journey in life be taken. To be honest, I still to this day have not figured it out. However I finally made the decision that God had a plan, he had a reason to take him. That brought me peace.
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    Quote Originally Posted by archer51 View Post
    Prayers will go out for this brave young woman. It's hard to understand why things happen as they do. I know I struggled when I lost my middle son. Trying to figure out why God would let someone just 25, newly married and getting ready to start their adult journey in life be taken. To be honest, I still to this day have not figured it out. However I finally made the decision that God had a plan, he had a reason to take him. That brought me peace.


    ^^^^^^^^^^I believe this as well^^^


    The following poem helps us see things possibly from another perspective, not often thought of.


    The Weaving


    My life is but a weaving
    Between my God and me;
    I may not choose the colors,
    He knows what they should be;
    For He can view the pattern
    Upon the upper side,
    While I can see it only
    On this, the under side.


    Sometimes He weaveth sorrow,
    Which seemeth strange to me;
    But I will trust His judgement,
    And work on faithfully;
    'Tis He who fills the shuttle,
    He knows just what is best;
    So I shall weave in earnest
    And leave with Him the rest.


    At last, when life is ended,
    With Him I shall abide,
    Then I may view the pattern
    Upon the upper side;
    Then I shall know the reason
    Why pain with joy entwined,
    Was woven in the fabric
    Of life that God designed.
    Author unknown

    May the Lord comfort all who are hurting and sad, no matter their race, religion or beliefs.
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    Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." -- Ernest Benn

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    My prayers are with you.
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  12. #12
    Senior Member Array GeorgiaDawg's Avatar
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    I'm praying for this little girl and those who are affected by her gentleness. I hope the Lord one day removes the pain from her and brings her to everlasting life. I also pray that the father would have his heart changed, repent of his ways, and seek the Lord. I hope he is changed and realizes what is important in this life.
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    Distinguished Member Array Chaplain Scott's Avatar
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    I keep thinking that one day I will adjust and get used to this type of betrayal that is done over and over to innocent children. In my mind I had already purchased my ticket and packed my heat to remove this malignancy from mother earth. However, I am reminded that Court will be in session one day and my pitiful attempts at balancing the scales will look silly. That is his daughter. Those are his grandchildren. It is interesting to note that Jesus hints that there are actually levels of hell. And who are the worst offenders that will get the full penalty for their evil? Those who cause little children to stumble and fall.
    Actually, I have a little different "take" on your anger. I think that when good people see evil and injustice, and feel rage, anger and are incensed over it, that we are actually reflecting a portion of the FAther's heart (we are after all, from a Judeo-Christian perspective, created in His image). Now, what we actually DO with that anger and feeling of injustice is where we can make good or poor choices........

    In the course of my career of helping/working with people, I have seen this kind of evil thing before, and it is indeed disturbing and very, very troubling. Sociopaths come in all kinds of flavors, the "window dressing" (age, gender, ethnicity, socioeconomical class, religion professed, etc) may make them look like everybody else, but they ARE different underneath.
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    Quote Originally Posted by WHEC724 View Post
    I'm praying for this family, this morning.

    This is promise from our Lord, that one day... "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4
    Many thanks and thanks, too, for the verse. The older I get, the more I live for that verse.!
    "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Eccl. 10:2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaplain Scott View Post
    Actually, I have a little different "take" on your anger. I think that when good people see evil and injustice, and feel rage, anger and are incensed over it, that we are actually reflecting a portion of the FAther's heart (we are after all, from a Judeo-Christian perspective, created in His image). Now, what we actually DO with that anger and feeling of injustice is where we can make good or poor choices........

    In the course of my career of helping/working with people, I have seen this kind of evil thing before, and it is indeed disturbing and very, very troubling. Sociopaths come in all kinds of flavors, the "window dressing" (age, gender, ethnicity, socioeconomical class, religion professed, etc) may make them look like everybody else, but they ARE different underneath.
    You are on the money, chaplain! I was up very late that first night I heard, waves of anger, disgust, and rage surging over me. And your comment on window dressing is spot on. Took a graduate course that included "predators" and we church goers are the most naive of all in recognizing "professional" abusers.
    "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left." Eccl. 10:2

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