I draw the line at Guns

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Thread: I draw the line at Guns

  1. #16
    Senior Member Array Darrow75's Avatar
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    Gas station sea food! That gave me a good chuckle. Thanks for that!

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  3. #17
    Distinguished Member Array Stetson's Avatar
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    I too believe in gun safety but mister to end relationships over gun safety is ludiecrust ! Mister,what a perfect time to give some gunsafety training.Your Dad another story,You never ask a person to pick between them and you because you'll lose.Tour story demonstrates to me you lack patients and I understand that you are right but why would you try to change people who don't know or care.Good luck with future realationships because you are very ridgid on the way you handle things.

  4. #18
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    I agree with your judgment about not shooting with them, and the reasons, and that's a "standard" ..... where the costs of doing otherwise could be very bad. Sounds like you knew this though, and you don't have to end relationships over it... just don't go shooting with them. You know the people, find other reasons to tactfully back out of the plans to shoot with them and move on from there.

    Sounds like you are blunt, direct and honest ........ just use more tact and excuse yourself from going shooting with them.

    I'm cautious about who I go shooting with.... because I've seen people have ND's and almost gotten shot.
    I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. --- Will Rogers ---
    Chief Justice John Roberts : "I don't see how you can read Heller and not take away from it the notion that the Second Amendment...was extremely important to the framers in their view of what liberty meant."

  5. #19
    Distinguished Member Array Hoganbeg's Avatar
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    I find it interesting that you feel the need to ask us for our opinions when we don't know any of the parties involved and weren't there. I'll agree that guns and alcohol don't mix and I would find a reason to be unavailable.

  6. #20
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    Staying firm on issues like safety, is necessary. From what you illustrated, it seems as though you made good choices in no negotiations with that.....both with your girlfriend and dad.

    If the situation with your girlfriend was the "tipping point", I can understand your logic and that being a final example. Many people struggle with humility, but can learn a lot from others who show dignified & honest ways of admitting error.

    Shooting/Firearms is like any other interest in the fact that some people are going to like it and some people are going to be great at it. Know that other than someone hindering your right to protect yourself, it's ok if a girlfriend, spouse, family member, friend doesn't like it, or are not good at it. Be a good shepherd of the firearms culture and try to show them the right way until you realize that it is not a fit for them. A negative encounter at the range can turn a new person who is interested into an anti-gunner.

    I think too many people get carried away about "hurting feelings" some times. I think it is ok to judge others......as long as you are willing to accept such judgement yourself. Regarding your father's relationship, he is an adult and has chosen his path. I think it is important to express your concerns so that he is clear on them, but then you have to accept the decisions he makes beyond that (at least in regards to him staying with a woman who has issues, enabling her, supporting her, etc).

    The garbage in the lives of people close to you can and does spill over into the people's lives that surround them. Sometimes for the sake of protecting your own (yourself, your family, your close friend network), you have to choose to strengthen your fence, and separate people from their influence of others you are responsible for. I think you made the right choice regarding the safety issues with dad's girlfriend.

    Too little detail to comment on how you handled dad with this event or other issues that may have contributed to your relationship. But, safety remains non-negotiable.

    Remember that we never learn to be better sailors when the seas remain calm. We have to be ready to adapt to the changing elements so that we can grow and become more experienced, better human beings. As the saying goes. "The storm will pass......". Hopefully your relationship with your father grows from this and the result is better than had you not spoken up.

    I will pray for you to have peace.
    “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
    ― Albert Einstein

  7. #21
    Member Array rstanek's Avatar
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    It's called Tough Love. IMO you did right.

  8. #22
    Senior Member Array Luis50's Avatar
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    Well you asked. This has nothing to do with shooting. Do your best to keep a good relationship with your pops. Girlfriends come and go but family, good and bad, is forever.
    Luis

    "Everybody's got a plan, 'til they get hit".

    Mike Tyson

  9. #23
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    Tough spot to be in, but dead is dead and no reversing that.
    Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.

  10. #24
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    She is a serious alcoholic that gets blackout drunk on a regular basis.

    I refused to go shooting with them because I feel that she is a serious range safety concern. I don't want to get shot by a clumsy alcoholic who shouldn't be around guns in the first place.

    My refusal to join them resulted in a blowout fight with my father ...
    I'd have refused too, on the same basis. IMO, basic safety isn't negotiable. And with a known drunkard whose daily activities are impacted by the bottle, it's just not worth being around.

    He'll have to square with the reality at some point, or face the consequences. That'll include others choosing to have nothing to do with her, to not be around her/them, not go to events/places with her/them, not respect her/them to the degree she/they think is appropriate. It is what it is, and you're certainly not the cause. IMO, nor are you inflaming anything, making such a choice to remain at arm's length.

    Problem is, damage will be done. Given the terrible condition she's in, it's hard to see how those things won't happen. She'll either get the problem resolved, or it'll keep careening toward whatever end it's approaching. The only thing he needs to decide is, whether he wants to be part of the solution or not. You need not be a part of it, certainly not if it's a relationship that technically has nothing to do with you, that you can't positively alter. IMO, you can only get hurt, so long as ignorance and willful delusion rules the day.

    Bottom line: he's risking loosing everything he's got. She's already well on her way.

    His problem ... not yours, not really.

    Hopefully, that is if you value your relationship with him, you two will be able to come to some sort of basic understanding about what is, what you want, what you don't want, what you won't accept, where the basic boundaries are. Perhaps you can maintain some sort of decency in your own relationship together, without her "beautifying" influence.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  11. #25
    Senior Member Array hayzor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miller_man View Post
    I think you should prob just avoid shooting with girlfriends and your father. Those relationships are important, going shooting with those people - not so much. Your concerns about gun safety are correct, but ruining a relationship becuase of gun safety is a little overboard to me, just avoid guns with these people. I think you do have a touch of stubborness, just my $0.02.
    ^^^^ Well said!!
    The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it. Albert Einstein

    "People in Arizona carry guns," said a Chandler police spokesman. "You better be careful about who you are picking on."

  12. #26
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    You did the right thing. I hope your Dad doesn't get too hurt when his relationship with his girlfriend blows up in his face. As to your girlfriend, it sounds like the break up was more about her refusal to listen to common sense and not so much about range safety.
    Last edited by Jeanlouise; December 11th, 2012 at 09:52 PM. Reason: fixing the weird sentence editing by my device.
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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