Losing a parent is something you NEVER "get over"....

This is a discussion on Losing a parent is something you NEVER "get over".... within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Losing a parent is something you never "get over" you merely grow used to the fact. Yesterday was the 8th anniversary of the passing of ...

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Thread: Losing a parent is something you NEVER "get over"....

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    VIP Member Array ExSoldier's Avatar
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    Losing a parent is something you NEVER "get over"....

    Losing a parent is something you never "get over" you merely grow used to the fact.

    Yesterday was the 8th anniversary of the passing of my mom. Eight years ago I was holding her hand at exactly 11:17am. I spoke the words that gave my mom's spirit into the loving arms of the Lord and she opened her eyes and looked up. She was gone.

    Yesterday at exactly 11:17am, I knelt in my empty classroom and said a little prayer. My kids had just departed for lunch. They wanted to know why I seemed so "down." I told them they should each go home that day and tell their mom they loved them. Likely as not that ever suspicious mom is going to say "What do you want...really?" But that they should tell her that life is funny and sometimes you can never tell what's going to happen and that they just thought that mom should know....

    I hope they did that. Because I ALWAYS did that. When mom passed into GLORY that day, there was peace and closure. Everything that needed to be said HAD been said. There will one day...be a REUNION and it will be the best party imaginable.
    Former Army Infantry Captain; 25 yrs as an NRA Certified Instructor; Avid practitioner of the martial art: KLIK-PAO.

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    Senior Member Array GoodSamaritan's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing.
    I lost my dad, several years back, and I still miss him terribly some times. It is true that I have never gotten over it, but I am used to it now.

    As you said, there will one day be a reunion, while I am in no hurry to leave this veil of tears, I am looking forward to it.

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    Jim - I can look back to May 1st 1997 - my Dad had passed and in fact it was then the end of a quite hideous battle with components of age and disease. I did not have the luxury of holding his hand - I was robbed of that at the very end. That still hurts. RIP Pops.

    March 8th 2003 - it was Mom's turn to pass on. She had gotten quite frail but also been in bad shape following a fall and was struggling to make some progress until things went South awful fast. Friday 7th I had a call early in the day from my daughter to say ''Dad, I think you'd better come over quick".

    I went into panic mode and got a flight organized and left DC in the evening. On arrival at Heathrow I was met by my daughter and SIL - it was too late. At about 2am as I was over the Atlantic she had gone, tho for 24 hours had in fact been unconscious. That too hurt badly. RIP Mom.

    Not sure why I am burdening you or others with this account of my own experiences - guess it's always useful to blow smoke at times.

    Bottom line tho - and no one will ever take this totally at face value - treasure your folks and remember that despite what we feel over the years - they are not around for ever. When they are gone, honor their memory and give thanks.

    One small crumb for anyone grieving - if you imagine your folks are watching while you grieve, take comfort from the fact that probably in many cases if they were to see you wallowing in grief and self pity - they would actually say - ''son (or daughter) - get up off your a$$ and face life and living, and don't disappoint me by wasting what life you have".

    It still ain't easy tho. Never will be.
    Chris - P95
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    ExSoldier...

    Quote Originally Posted by ExSoldier View Post
    Losing a parent is something you never "get over" you merely grow used to the fact..
    you have touched a sorrowful note...most have to experience such events...
    My dad passed on June 20, 1996. I was camping in the U.P of Michigan when I got 'the call' and was not able to be by his side when he died, although the rest of the family was with him.

    My mom, however, was a different story. We had already moved from Michigan to Florida when everyone new that she would need 'extra care and attention'. She moved in with us and we managed all of her needs for several years. Near the end, she had a massive stroke that left her unable to eat or drink. My sisters flew down to be with her in her last days.
    It was in our home at 11:30 p.m. on June 24, 2004 when she went to be with the Lord. It's even hard to type this without tears (and I'm not an emotional kind of guy). I think about both of my parents a lot, and I thank God for the opportunity I had to really take care of my mom during those last few years. There are so many moments to think about that bring both laughter and tears...

    I think I'll stop here...

    ret
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    Senior Member Array purple88yj's Avatar
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    I lost my father three years ago this month. He died sudden;y from brain and lung cancer. I say suddenly because I was down at his house the weekend prior to him going to the hospital. We talked and carried on like it was any other day. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

    I recall it vividly. That weekend that I was there, I had just brought his guns back to him after cleaning them. We were to go shooting the following weekend. He went in to the hospital on an early Tuesday morning. He passed the following week. I did get to talk to him one last time before he died. I remember that conversation word-for-word.

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    We talked and carried on like it was any other day. Nothing was out of the ordinary.
    That folks is how things can go so often. ''Here today - gone tomorrow" - applies to us all. And so make every day count for yourself and those you care about.

    Reminds me of our oft used parting shot - ''see ya later'' or ''see ya tomorrow". How much we sometimes take that for granted - I know when young many of us did with our parents - heck, parents are always around, ain't they!

    Sadly no.
    Chris - P95
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    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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    Quote Originally Posted by ExSoldier View Post
    Losing a parent is something you never "get over" you merely grow used to the fact.
    Well said, and a good reminder to the lucky folks that still have a parent or two to tell "I Love You"!

    Thank you, Sir!
    Richard

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    Wow. Very deep subject.

    My father died in 2002. We celebrated. I hated his guts.

    My mother is who I deeply love. She sold everything we had so she could keep a roof over my head and food in my mouth. All the antique's, jewelery from my grandparents, and many other family things , just for me. I always respect her for this. She is still with us today but her health is going down slowly. She smokes like a train and won't quit.
    Mighty HD

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    tim
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    Ex Soldier,

    On Oct. 8th, I buried my Dad. He was old, and in failing health for several years. He was at times a very difficult man to get along with and even at times to love. But I will miss him every day of the rest of my life.

    P95,

    I try to tell everyone I know that. There is no long dramatic goodbye at the end. You're here, then you're not. If you have something to say to someone, tell them.

    Tim

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    My Dad passed March 1st of this year. Received the Red Cross message while here in Korea. My command did an awesome job of getting me out on the first available plane, but he died while I was on a lay over in Dullis just 3 hours away. Received the call from my sister as I was boarding the plane.
    It's hard to believe he went so fast. I had just seen him in November before I came over here, and spoke to him weekly on the phone. His birthday was Dec 24 which made Chrismas all the more special. I will be arriving back home about this time and it won't be the same without him. Cherish your family every day because you never know how long the good Lord will let you have with them.
    Last edited by osanmike; October 30th, 2006 at 06:57 AM.
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    Member Array Whirlwind06's Avatar
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    My Dad passed in January of 2001. I was the only one in the ICU with him. Everybody went home to get some food. It was a bright sunny day and told my dad it was a wonderful day outside and that it was ok to go. That I would look after mom. He started to go fast and a had to call everybody back. I was worried that I told him to go to soon. And it would be just me and him there. I asked him to hold on for a bit longer and he did. My family got back into the ICU and we all were there when he passed. (Now I got tears in my eyes) I haven't thought about this in 5 years. Pushed it out of my mind I guess.

    Sometimes my Dad and I didn't get along, but all in all I miss him.

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    Member Array Texas Yankee's Avatar
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    My Dad died 40 years ago last February and I still haven't gotten over it. I was 12 at the time and became a man that day. While I know I will see him in Heaven some day and know that he would have died by now anyway (He would be 101 if he were still living), I still miss him and sometimes ask God why He took my Dad so soon. Don't have a good answer yet, but will some day.

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    Senior Member Array PaulG's Avatar
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    My dad died in February of 1980 and my mother died less than two months later in April 1980.

    I agree that you never get over losing a parent. Mine were the best out there. Their handshake was as good as anyone else's contract. They loved each other and us kids too.

    Here's an example of how they felt about each other. On Valentines Day of 1980 my father wheeled himself down the hospital hall to my mothers room. When he reached her bedside, he pulled out a napkin from his robe on which he had made a valentine card.

    My mother simply smiled and reached under her tray and pulled out the card she had made for him on her napkin.

    I left the room so they wouldn't see my tears and thanked God that I had such parents who taught me about life and love.

    I am having a hard time completing this post because for some reason my vision is impaired. Must be something in my eye.

    Yes . . you never get over losing a parent.

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