A Son Moved Away

A Son Moved Away

This is a discussion on A Son Moved Away within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; My son moved away to Plymouth,Ma today shipped his car a few days earlier and boarded a flight this morning. He has friends who he ...

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  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Jetfuelrm's Avatar
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    A Son Moved Away

    My son moved away to Plymouth,Ma today shipped his car a few days earlier and boarded a flight this morning. He has friends who he knows in Plymouth. I am thankful that he does not drink or use drugs or anything. I feel I was lucky in today's world for him not to have any problems. I don't know why, but I am having somewhat of a hard time dealing with him being gone. Maybe some others have gone through this and may have some advice. I seem to have this empty feeling and sometimes it is hard to talk to him without becoming choked up at times. I know he will do just fine and he told me he will do really well for himself and that he could not make it down in South Florida. I have to agree with him, the jobs here are not all that great and are far from plentiful. I know time heals, but right at this moment it is not easy. Just for the record I do not have or had any crazy thoughts I just wanted to get this out and maybe someone else has dealt with the same situation. I knew this day would come but it came very fast. Thanks for reading.
    "As a strong supporter of our 2nd Amendment rights, I believe tougher enforcement of our nation's existing gun laws must be done before any more laws are enacted and put on the books."
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    I agree. When my daughter left it was a relief, and she and I can laugh about it now. She is tooooooo much like me.

    When my son left...........Yea..........Your post is making me tear up. He moved to Boston, and now lives in Salem, MA.

    It is GREAT to visit he and his wife though - it's a tremendously fun place to visit!

    Take a few days and go visit if you can - that can help. Just 2-3 days MAX. It gets better.
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    VIP Member Array Jetfuelrm's Avatar
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    Thanks Rock and Glock Hopefully it will get better I haven't had any urge to do anything at the moment
    "As a strong supporter of our 2nd Amendment rights, I believe tougher enforcement of our nation's existing gun laws must be done before any more laws are enacted and put on the books."
    Jeff Miller

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    In this day and age you many ways to stay in touch with him . He needs as a man to make his mark now it sounds to me you have done a great job at that. All we can do is be a support and prep. them for life . Be proud of what you have done to get him here at this point . And most of all tell him you Love him and are happy for him. Best Wishes to you and your family . Now you can chamge his room into a gun room or safe room.
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    VIP Member Array Easy8's Avatar
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    I have four sons all grown an gone. The first one was the toughest the second was ok but the last two were the worst. They all are great guys but the last two were well into their 20' s an still eating me out of the house. They had good jobs making better money than me but loved living with mom an dad. One Sunday I walked into the living room an asked if they wanted to go to dinner ( they loved that I always paid) they went got in the car. My wife an I drove them to a apartment complex (really nice one) pulled in got out an opened the trunk got out their suitcases my wife threw them the keys to a apartment that we rented an furnished even food in the fridge an we left. That was 15 years ago they re both married an doing well. They still bring it up an we all laugh. It all works out just remember a parent is only as happy as their saddest child.

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    VIP Member Array Snub44's Avatar
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    ...my sons left together to go to Iraq a few years ago...good for them they were in the same outfit and same hooch for a year...bad for me I had my two eldest sons in harm's way for a year...I missed 'em...I counted the days...I cried...I did a Snoopy dance when they got home...my middle son left last Sep3 for a year in the mission fields around the world...he's in his 11th country and due home Aug 4...I did all of the above again...

    ...nothing takes the place of walking down the hall at 1 am and seeing them sleeping...I love my boys a lot...still have my 20-year-old at home...glad it's so...

    ...a lot of our lives are spent getting them ready to launch...but the launch's painful...no way around it...
    ...I told mine when they went to Iraq that knowing they were firmly in the Father's hands, I could let them go...that gave me a lot of peace, but didn't keep me from missing them...

    ...there's no way to make goodbyes easier that I've found...we used Skype for visits...that helps...the phone calls have been golden...but it's just not the same...we just have to get used to the fact that they can't soar while still in the nest...pray for him every day and plan for visits...

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    VIP Member Array Snub44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Easy8 View Post
    I have four sons all grown an gone. The first one was the toughest the second was ok but the last two were the worst. They all are great guys but the last two were well into their 20' s an still eating me out of the house. They had good jobs making better money than me but loved living with mom an dad. One Sunday I walked into the living room an asked if they wanted to go to dinner ( they loved that I always paid) they went got in the car. My wife an I drove them to a apartment complex (really nice one) pulled in got out an opened the trunk got out their suitcases my wife threw them the keys to a apartment that we rented an furnished even food in the fridge an we left. That was 15 years ago they re both married an doing well. They still bring it up an we all laugh. It all works out just remember a parent is only as happy as their saddest child.
    ...I haven't heard such a funny story in years...that's a classic!!!

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    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    It's that transition .. that all parents go thru. Look at it this way, at some point... you will realize and begin enjoying a new freedom you haven't had for a long time. One, you don't realize yet.
    Too bad he's that far away which will preclude you being able to still do things together more often.
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    VIP Member Array maxwell97's Avatar
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    I don't have kids of my own yet, so I can't say I really understand, but being the youngest brother I know it was hard on my folks when I left, even though I didn't go too far.

    One thing it makes me think of, is to appreciate our forefathers all the more. Knowing how hard it is to be separated, imagine what it must have been like when a child moved across the Atlantic or west as a settler, when there were no phones, Internet, planes - maybe a few letters here and there, and a visit was nearly impossible. I guess that's one of the great American traditions. It's hard, but we go where there's opportunity for a better life for ourselves and our own children.
    "Yet this government never of itself furthered any enterprise, but by the alacrity with which it got out of the way... The character inherent in the American people has done all that has been accomplished; and it would have done somewhat more, if the government had not sometimes got in its way."

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    It gets better !

    I coped best by realizing that me not wanting them to leave home was sort of "selfish", and not so much of a good thing for my kid. As their parent ultimately I should want the best for them, and they do need to get out and start their own life, career, and family. Afterall, I left home myself at a young age, it's what I needed to do. They are the same way.

    Both of ours have been gone for years. It's tough at first; looking back I remembered that my wife and I adopted a couple of cats about that same time. The cats were a mechanism that helped fill that empty spot.

    Fast forward to today, our kids live close enough for weekend visits. They have their lives, we have ours, but we enjoy get togethers, etc. It all works out well enough.

    BTW grandkids are a big bonus.
    Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.

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    Sooner or later they all leave the nest, just like you did. It's the cycle of life. Best wishes for him in the land of the oppressed.
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    I have about 5 more years before my son is due to leave.

    Thanks for the reminder to cherish these times.
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    'Clinging to my guns and religion

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    Boy, does your post ever bring back memories! My oldest daughter joined the ANG in July 2001. She was deployed to the UAE for 4 months in Feb. 2002. I will never forget watching that bus leave the ANG parking lot on it's way to the airport to ship them off. She was crying and waved a little wave out of the window as they pulled away. I thought I would die. (I don't know how you who have had children go off to a war zone do it, but I'm in awe of you).

    Anyway, she was fine and came back the better for her experience. I, however, spent every day a semi-wreck.

    When my middle daughter went off to college I was also a wreck because I knew how final that milestone is, and she was my "velcro" child.

    When my son went to college I finally had some perspective and he was only 4 hours away, so it wasn't too bad. Fast forward 4 years...guess who's graduated, looking for a job and back in his room?

    I completely understand your feelings OP and things do get easier after a few days. My advice is to plan a trip up there in the early fall. By then he'll be settled and the weather will be gorgeous. It will give you both something to look forward to and plan for.
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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    I know the feeling.
    4 kids and the oldest, (24) had to move with his employer to Bloomington In. 5.5 hrs. away.
    He's been back 3 x and we are scheduled to go down in Sept.
    The younger 3 are @ home for now, but I know its inevitable.
    It sucks as he was one of my fishing/hunting buddies and all around #1 son.
    Last edited by oneshot; August 5th, 2013 at 08:59 PM.
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    Tough. Get it. Not much more that I can add other than love them by letting them go. But always be there with a 'dust off' when needed.
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