Situational Awareness On Overload!!! Please Help!!

This is a discussion on Situational Awareness On Overload!!! Please Help!! within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Background: I have 2 daughters and my wife keeps me on a need to know basis when it comes to boys. As was notified last ...

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 60
Like Tree102Likes

Thread: Situational Awareness On Overload!!! Please Help!!

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array txron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    836

    Situational Awareness On Overload!!! Please Help!!

    Background: I have 2 daughters and my wife keeps me on a need to know basis when it comes to boys. As was notified last night that my youngest (freshman in HS) was just asked by a boy to homecoming!! Dresses will be bought, high heal shoes will be worn and a boy will be arriving to pick her up THIS SATURDAY!! For all of you Dads that went through this, please help!
    No trees were harmed in the construction of this post. However a large number of electrons were indiscriminately aroused.

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    Member Array floggindave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    oklahoma
    Posts
    113
    need to clean any guns this weekend?

    ive always planned to tell boys "if my daughter sees your junk, im cutting it off." my girl is only 5 though, hopefully that talk is awhile off.
    pittypat21 likes this.

  4. #3
    VIP Member
    Array gatorbait51's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Loozianna
    Posts
    2,620
    I used to chat with my daughters' young male friends while cleaning my fingernails with a bayonet . That usually had their attention.

  5. #4
    VIP Member
    Array welder516's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    The Crab State if i could leave i would
    Posts
    3,250
    Mike Tyson in an interveiw said he told a young man that was picking up his daughter at the house . " Whatever you do to my Daughter i will do to you " and then told him what time to bring her home . Seems like that would work for me .
    Member of the NRA
    {A}RMS discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property...Horrid mischief would ensue were the law-abiding deprived of the use of them
    1775 Thomas Paine
    Not afraid to live & Not afraid to die .

  6. #5
    VIP Member
    Array WHEC724's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    6,502
    I only have one boy. I can't help but feel that I've contributed to the problem.

    'Sorry.
    __________________________________
    'Clinging to my guns and religion

  7. #6
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    West Virginia
    Posts
    2,910
    Might be a good time to get out ALL of your guns and begin to clean them just as Junior arrives to pick up his date. But that's just me.
    gatorbait51 likes this.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

  8. #7
    VIP Member
    Array WHEC724's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    6,502
    Quote Originally Posted by welder516 View Post
    Mike Tyson in an interveiw said he told a young man that was picking up his daughter at the house . " Whatever you do to my Daughter i will do to you " and then told him what time to bring her home . Seems like that would work for me .
    That one statement really covers all contingencies. I love it.
    __________________________________
    'Clinging to my guns and religion

  9. #8
    Senior Member Array Oldpsufan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    1,191
    Quote Originally Posted by txron View Post
    Background: I have 2 daughters and my wife keeps me on a need to know basis when it comes to boys. As was notified last night that my youngest (freshman in HS) was just asked by a boy to homecoming!! Dresses will be bought, high heal shoes will be worn and a boy will be arriving to pick her up THIS SATURDAY!! For all of you Dads that went through this, please help!
    Sounds to me you are still on a need to know basis. Trust wife on this one, and if anything happens not to your liking, feel free to blame wife. Seriously, at that age all you can do is hope you've raised them right.

  10. #9
    Distinguished Member Array DontTreadOnI's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,442
    Saw someone say the other day:

    "When he arrived to pick up my daughter I tossed him a loaded shotgun shell and told him it flies a lot faster after 10PM."
    If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

  11. #10
    Senior Member Array Oldpsufan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    1,191
    Quote Originally Posted by welder516 View Post
    Mike Tyson in an interveiw said he told a young man that was picking up his daughter at the house . " Whatever you do to my Daughter i will do to you " and then told him what time to bring her home . Seems like that would work for me .
    Gee, I hope there is not too much kissing involved.

  12. #11
    VIP Member
    Array ppkheat's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    4,101
    I understand, I had a daughter of dating age once upon a time myself. I did enjoy giving these poor guys the "eye". They were nervous coming here to begin with so I took advantage of that. Fortunately, and maybe because of the "eye", I never had any problems. The rules below pretty much covers it all anyway. Actually I was pretty nice to them (at least I thought so). Several years later, my daughter told me that her dates told her that I made them nervous. Maybe it was the camo face? Good luck.

    Funny set of rules here, maybe it'll get you in the "Dad mood".

    Rule One:
    If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

    Rule Two:
    You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

    Rule Three:
    I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

    Rule Four:
    I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

    Rule Five:
    It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

    Rule Six:
    I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

    Rule Seven:
    As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

    Rule Eight:
    The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

    Rule Nine:
    Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

    Rule Ten:
    Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
    Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.

  13. #12
    Senior Member Array wishyouwell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    The United Databases of America
    Posts
    548
    Rule #4 was my favorite.

    This is why i don't have kids; so i don't have to shoot anybody

    Sorry, i was no help.

  14. #13
    VIP Member Array Harryball's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Lansing Mi
    Posts
    7,160
    Quote Originally Posted by txron View Post
    Background: I have 2 daughters and my wife keeps me on a need to know basis when it comes to boys. As was notified last night that my youngest (freshman in HS) was just asked by a boy to homecoming!! Dresses will be bought, high heal shoes will be worn and a boy will be arriving to pick her up THIS SATURDAY!! For all of you Dads that went through this, please help!
    To be honest, your daughter should already know what to expect from you. Now is not the time to build a wall between the two of you. A kiss on her forehead and a smile might be in order here.....
    Don"t let stupid be your skill set....

    Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means, that you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you......

  15. #14
    VIP Member Array JDE101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    6,508
    I have been there, done that. Four daughters. Four granddaughters. A niece. Be friendly to the young man, shake his hand firmly, then sit back down and continue to clean your gun. Shotgun, preferably. A 12 gauge is a bit more intimidating than a handgun.
    Live to ride, ride to live. Harley Road King And keep a .45 handy Kimber Custom TLE II

  16. #15
    VIP Member Array NONAME762's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    About 235M out of The Palouse WA
    Posts
    7,609
    This thread had me go back to my youth when I met my first Redneck girlfriend. She opened the door wearing a flannel night gown that started at her throat and stopped at the floor. She was all of 95 pounds soaking wet and I was enamored of her.
    darbo likes this.
    Firing a suppressed is on my Bucket List.

    I'm just a spoke in the wheel but not a big deal.

    America...a Constitutional Republic. NOT a democracy as the liberals would have us believe.

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •