Car Seat Question

This is a discussion on Car Seat Question within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Wasn't sure where to put this, this isn't really a defensive question more of family safety, so I figured it fit here. My daughter was ...

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Thread: Car Seat Question

  1. #1
    New Member Array duckie's Avatar
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    Car Seat Question

    Wasn't sure where to put this, this isn't really a defensive question more of family safety, so I figured it fit here.

    My daughter was born 8 weeks premature, she has always been under the curve for everything at the docs, like height/ weight. She is going to be turning 5 next month and she is still the size of her 3 year old cousin. She is 36 inches tall and like 35 lbs tops. Because she is tiny my wife wants her to remain rear facing until she hits the maximum limit of our car seat, we have a Diono RXT car seat which has a rear facing limit of 45 lbs. she wanted this car seat specifically because of the increase rear facing limit.

    At my daughters current rate, she wonít be front facing until she is 6-7. Most of our family/friends give us grief because she is almost 5 years old and still rear facing. Tonight we went to a Christmas light drive and moved her front facing so she could see and my wife posted a pic of it on Facebook and people went crazy saying how they are so glad that she is front facing now. My wife basically exploded at people telling them it was just for tonight.

    Iím on the fence about it. I know itís proven safer than front facing, but for how long? I go along with the wife to keep her happy, you know, happy wife happy life. For those of you who have kids when did you guys turn them around?

    And also I was wondering if you think itís a good idea to turn this in my favor about CC. she rants about how much safer it is for her to ride rear facing but doesn't fully understand why I want to carry. She even bought a second of these car seats ($300) even when we didn't have another car because it was just in case someone else needed to pick her up. But she doesn't want me spending the money on my own carry gun, also about same amount. my current carry is a loaner from a friend, and I know he will eventually want it back. I was just thinking this might be a good timing to compare how she wants to keep her safe to how I want to keep her safe, or do you guys think it will blow up in my face?

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  3. #2
    Member Array FiremanPaul's Avatar
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    I used to be a car seat tech as a fireman, now retired. No harm in leaving her rear facing until she reaches the limits of the seat, usually weight but occasionally by height. It's ok if the legs are bent in a crouching position as the hips and shoulders are held by the belts. Realize that forward vs rear facing is a percentage game. Most accident are frontal, thus rear facing to use the entire backside to adsorb impact forces. If rear ended, the rear facing seat is relying on the seat belts to distribute energy. 35 lbs is at the upper limit for most seats. Most convertible seats have different weight limits for forward vs rear facing. Make sure you are reading the correct one.

  4. #3
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    I don't think you should mix a discussion of guns in with the car seat issue. Too explosive. Just my opinion.
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  5. #4
    Distinguished Member Array dangerranger's Avatar
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    My only advise is don't let other people dictate what you will do for safety! Good luck convincing the wife though that she will be safer with a gun you own VS one someone else owns! Let us know how that one comes out. DR
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    A lot of it would depend on her muscle strength. If she is small but pretty strong, you could switch to a 5 point front facing seat. If she is not very strong, you are a just asking for neck injuries with hard breaking or an accident.

    There is nothing wrong with keeping her in a rear facing seat if you think she is not ready for front facing seat. Remember, you are the ones that keep your kids safe, so ignore all the grief people are giving you.
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  7. #6
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    The front/rear facing kiddy seat is dictated by your kid and not by your cadre of friends and relatives. Do what your conscience drives you to do. And recognize that 5-6 decades ago a bunch of us grew up in spite of no seat belts or dedicated kiddy restraints. As FiremanPaul correctly points out, it's a matter of percentages.

    Re your being armed: that's a tough row to hoe with a spouse who doesn't "get it." I was in that position for a very long time, until one day I decided the opposition was not based on fact and I proceeded in accordance with my own conscience. Right now you're in the position of using a friend's fire extinguisher and hoping there's no fire you have to put out. If your wife has a scintilla of an open mind, then have her read about the Petit family slaughter in Cheshire, CT a few years ago, and then steer her toward our own Limatune's blog about why she made the decision to arm herself. Her particular situation is not what your wife is faced with, but the decision was reached nonetheless with good reasoning and good sense. I hope your wife recognizes the reason to become the "momma bear" that defends her young.

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    Senior Member Array XD40SCiinNC's Avatar
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    I'm in the same boat as Paul, retired FF, and certified child seat tech. They should remain rear facing during the first year minimum regardless of size, due to their bone/joint growth, plus the weight of their head is disproportionate to their body size.

    Your local FD should have certified car seat inspectors on duty (many even have signs out front) and they will have the latest and most important 'correct' information.
    "The most foolish mistake we could possibly make would be to allow the subject races to possess arms. History shows that all conquerors who have allowed their subject races to carry arms have prepared their own downfall by so doing." - Adolf Hitler

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    I was also a car seat tech for my FD. I agree with XD40, rear facing is more because of large head and lack of muscle and joint development. I don't know what your daughters level of development is. I would think at age five she has developed to the point she can control her head pretty well. I think a good five point front facing seat would be fine as long as it fits her well. I'm sure she would enjoy it. If your daughter is not complaining and the wife is happy whats the harm?

    All that being said, it might be a question better answered by your pediatrician. Your wife might put more stock in his/her advice.

  10. #9
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    I'd discuss it with her pediatrician. See what they feel is the best for her. As far as bringing guns into the discussion. I'd avoid trying to use the car seat as a leverage point.
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  11. #10
    Senior Member Array daffyduc's Avatar
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    As others have stated, these 2 topics are not related.... Talk to her pediatrician.

    Carry wise, if it were me, I would calmly explain your concerns in list form, Write a letter if you have to. explain that due to the severity of these concerns you feel you must take action on them. Man up and buy a carry gun.... if nothing else, god forbid you had to use it, the police are going to take ownership of it for a very long time.... Btw, you must have an awesome friend to let you borrow a carry gun. you owe that man a steak!

  12. #11
    Member Array muddy's Avatar
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    I have to disagree, I think the two topics are related. Here we have a wife that is so worried about her kids safety that she has the kid in a rear facing car seat at 5 years old but yet she won't let the husband buy a pistol for family protection. Sounds like your wife is only seeing what she wants to see and not thinking or willing to think about other posibilitys. I say bring up the firearm issue. Good luck you are going to need it.

  13. #12
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    I'm not sure a pediatrician will convince your wife otherwise. Mothers can be hard-wired in their instincts. She probably cares less about BG safety than auto safety, and rightfully so. The numbers prove it. Like disarming landmines--approach with caution.
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    I don't think the topics are related. The core question, what is safest for your child in the car, front or rear facing. Seems like rear facing would be the safest choice based on the information presented. Consider this, do you really want to start a major argument over this rather than defer to her wishes that make your wife more comfortable? Ask yourself too, what if I'm wrong and we have a bad accident?

    I also don't think using this situation to gain leverage for something you want is healthy for the relationship. Just saying...
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  15. #14
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    I am with ShooterGranny on this , Out of respect i would keep the car seat and gun issue seperate from each other . Marriage is not about getting leverage over a spouse .
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  16. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by welder516 View Post
    Marriage is not about getting leverage over a spouse .
    Truer words ne'er spoken...


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