Sometimes the BG is ourselves

This is a discussion on Sometimes the BG is ourselves within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I know this may not be the correct overall forum for this but thought that there may be some parallels to the whole "defensive carry" ...

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Thread: Sometimes the BG is ourselves

  1. #1
    Member Array KellyCooper's Avatar
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    Sometimes the BG is ourselves

    I know this may not be the correct overall forum for this but thought that there may be some parallels to the whole "defensive carry" theme. After being on here for just a short while I have noticed a trend among members here. It seems that most are concerned with their safety and well being as well as the safety and well being of those they love. In acting on this, my observations of the members here is one of responsibility. I get the impression that all of you (or at least the vast majority of you) view your role in your own well being very seriously and have taken large steps to insure that you have an upper hand in any confrontation that threatens it. With that being said, I realize I may be "preaching to the choir" about making good personal decisions. Last week I was in North Carolina at the beach for a much needed vacation. On Wednesday I recieved a call saying that one of my really good friends had died the night before. Upon asking how it happened, it turns out that it was a totally freak accident but there was alcohol involved. Just to clarify my position on all of this, we were very close friends. However, she was a living a lifestyle that I could not support. She was out drinking every night, and more than once drove on those nights. It finally got to the point where we essentially had a falling out. (not just between the two of us but between me and a whole group who were doing the same thing) I said that I could see where this would eventually lead and I could not bear to be on the other end of the phone when I get that phone call. I also had more respect for myself than to participate in that kind of behavior. My roomate, however, was in amongst that group. Therefore everyone still came around, I just found myself elsewhere when they did. I was never rude to anyone. I had just chosen a different life for myself. All of this was less than a month and a half ago. I could see it coming but was powerless to stop it. And believe me I tried. I am very sad to have lost my friend. However I am glad that I finally had the self respect to pull myself out of that situation before the same could happen to me. Especially on this forum, we tend to focus on Bad Guys out in the world and our means of resisting them. Just realize that death can come just as certainly from making poor decisions such as drinking and driving as it can from a BG's bullet. Again, I realize I am probably preaching to the choir, but this has been on my mind a bit lately. Stay safe out there.
    ~~~the biggest deficit of the general public is a lack of personal accountability.. I have no one to blame for my actions, regardless of circumstances, except myself and by the same token I can hold no one else responsible for my protection and well being other than myself~~~

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    Someone once said:
    ...you can't choose your family, but you can choice your friends....
    So, CHOOSE WISELY!
    Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.-Seneca

    "If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. If I have a gun, what do I have to be paranoid about?" -Clint Smith

    "An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." -Jeff Cooper

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    "Tomorrow is promised to no one."

    I'm sorry you lost your friend. I hope your other friends learn from this tragic situation.

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    Sorry to hear you lost a friend. Some choices are hard, but necessary.
    "In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." Thomas Jefferson


    Nemo Me Impune Lacesset

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    Member Array DaveT's Avatar
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    KellyCooper,

    Your words are wise, and so was your decision to distance yourself from certain people. As painful as that might have been, you may have saved your own life. As freak as the accident might have been, if you were still hanging with your old friend, you might have been in the car also.

    I know that talking about a loss and/or lessons learned in life can be difficult. I admire your decision making process and applaud you for taking the time to share with everyone else here.

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    Member Array KellyCooper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaveT View Post
    KellyCooper,

    As freak as the accident might have been, if you were still hanging with your old friend, you might have been in the car also.

    .
    In this case, I really wish I was.......however, you cannot really plan on something like this ever happening.
    http://www.ajc.com/search/content/me...illedeath.html
    Quote Originally Posted by Atlanta Journal Constitution
    According to a police report, Jamie Melissa Coleman, 24, pulled up to the gated Holland Park apartment complex in the Lawrenceville area about 2 a.m. in her 2003 Volkswagen Passat. Apparently unable to reach the card reader, she opened her door and leaned out.

    In the process, the car rolled forward, bumping against a concrete post protecting the brick-encased card reader housing. The post pushed the car door back, pinning Coleman against the car. The report said she died of asphyxiation. Police say alcohol might have been a contributing factor.
    ~~~the biggest deficit of the general public is a lack of personal accountability.. I have no one to blame for my actions, regardless of circumstances, except myself and by the same token I can hold no one else responsible for my protection and well being other than myself~~~

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    Member Array Argus's Avatar
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    I too made such a decision, several years ago. My friends never understood it. But with 8 years being sober. I know I made the right decision. I am sorry for your loss. You are on the right path. And who knows..maybe someday you might be instrumental in saving a life. Because of what you know,and have learned. My prayers are with you.

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    That really was a freak accident.
    Sorry about the loss of your friend.
    Sometimes you have no choice but to distance yourself from folks who are on an intentional downward life spiral.
    You do what you realistically can but, then comes the time when you cannot allow other people to drag you down into the pit with them.
    It's still a sad situation though.
    Folks make those Life Choices for themselves and then must live (or sometimes not live very long) with the consequences of those decisions.
    R.I.P.
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

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    The day I got my permit was the last time I dank booze outside my own home. Not even at my in laws.
    I'm watching my older sister and brother drink themselves into oblivion and I get madder than he...you know the rest., but theres nothing I can do to change their minds.
    I've even been mad enough to call the LEOs on them when I suspect they're out DUI...but I haven't...not yet at least.
    "If I was an extremist, our founding fathers would all be extremists," he said. "Without them, we wouldn't have our independence. We'd be a disarmed British system of feudal subjectivity."

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    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KellyCooper View Post
    ... making good personal decisions.

    ... she was a living a lifestyle that I could not support. She was out drinking every night, and more than once drove on those nights. It finally got to the point where we essentially had a falling out.

    I could see it coming but was powerless to stop it. And believe me I tried.
    You're not responsible for other people's actions nor choices in life. That cannot be expected. You rolls the dice and takes your chances, in this life. You've only got one of them. Live it well.

    Refusing to be dragged down by what you know to be awful circumstances and people refusing to be realistic about the impacts ... well, that's wisdom, my friend. Bummer to have a friend take herself out, like that, via bad lifestyle choices. But, kudos to you for surviving this period of your life.

    Wisdom. It doesn't come cheaply, but it is worth it.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
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    Senior Member Array SilenceDoGood's Avatar
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    I'm very sorry for your loss. Let me say that I am in the same situation about making choices right now. Im 20 (almost 21) and attend the largest (or 2nd largest) campus in the country Arizona State Univ. Both of my roomates were alcoholics (ages 23, and 20). Let me say this, I might drink at a party and get wasted, shoot im in college you're supposed to do that. I might do that once or twice a month. With that said, I still got caught up in thier problems, and it really enlightened me as to what sort of person I want to become and what sort of person I don't. This might be a little "too" optimistic, but these things happen to show you how blessed you are. How blessed that who ever raised you taught you that your future was important, and that making descisions will actually affect the rest of your life. I'm right there right now in the treches of choice making, and its not always easy. So keep your head up buddy, and don't shut out what happend, use it to continue to make good choices.
    "A government is like fire, a handy servant, but a dangerous master." -- George Washington

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    Kelly, somebody told this old guy once that a true friend is the one that will warn you about the consequences of the stupid crap you are about to pull and is there to help you collect your teeth of the ground after you ignored his/her advice. What happens in between is up to you. You were her friend, you warned her, she ignored it and paid the price. It is sad and you will mourn her loss, think about what else you could have done (not much really) but you cannot let yourself be mired in guilt on her choice.
    Just my 2 corroded cents.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

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