You've made a great post there Chris. My wife and I knew each other for 3 months before we got married 30 years ago. My daughter was engaged to her jerk for 2 years and went steady for 1 more year before that. While her mother and I knew he had flaws she wouldn't listen and there is only so much you can do as a father. She never gave me a bit of trouble growing up. I just didn't like the boys sniffing around much as any other father would feel.
I learned a long time ago that I was not going to change my wife. She is much like her mother who I was not able to get to know before we got married. With my son-in-law we had the talk about my daughter being like her mother. So he could expect what she would be like. While we were uncomfortable with her choice we stuck by her and gave her the wedding she wanted. By the way I met my wife in Sunday school. Not a bad place to meet a future mate. It seemed like when my daughter and her husband quit going to Church everything went down hill. I think faith can cure a lot of ills and he told us that he was a believer and even had his own child hood friend preacher marry them. At least my daughter is home safe now. One thing though to make matters worse, she hit a deer on the way home last night. She got lucky and I think only the headlights and grill were mainly damaged. The door is a bit screwed up but we have a friend with his own body shop. When it rains it pours.