A little nervous

This is a discussion on A little nervous within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; so my girlfriend and I had somewhat of an idea that she may be pregnant, so tonight we bought a few tests and the results ...

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Thread: A little nervous

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array Tyler11B's Avatar
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    A little nervous

    so my girlfriend and I had somewhat of an idea that she may be pregnant, so tonight we bought a few tests and the results were "Pregnant". I'm a little nervous as im sure that its probably a natural reaction, im still taking it all in, but if anyone can chime in with words of great wisdom or advice i would be greatly in your debt. thanks and wish me luck. sorry if my words are tossed around and dont make sense but im still trembling a bit
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  3. #2
    Member Array concealed's Avatar
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    Relax...I nearly vomited 6 yrs ago when my wife told me. All me fears were unfounded. My best advice is to make your wife and child your priority. Treasure each and every moment you have with them, because our next breath is never guaranteed. You will be fine, but you will not find an instruction manual either!

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    Ex Member Array Ram Rod's Avatar
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    Nervous? What are you nervous for? Are you ready for a little Tyler11B? Hold on to your shorts soldier. Congrats will come in due time. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

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    VIP Member Array artz's Avatar
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    New priorities are abound ! Congratulations !!!
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992

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    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    Being nervous is normal with your first child. Best advice, go ahead and start stocking up on diapers and other related necessities. When the child arrives, you will instantly realize that he/she is the greatest thing in the world. Just take care of mom and keep her as comfortable as possible. Remember, she has to carry the load for 9 months and go through the discomfort of delivery. At the end, she will hate you for it, but that hate won't last long.
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    BENELLI NOVA

  7. #6
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    Let me advise you with the same words I passed along to my son (who informed me about his pregnant girlfriend)...I told him that it was now time to make the situation a 'legal family'...marry her, and enjoy the ride.
    I now have a daughter-in-law and two fine grandchildren. My son survived the surprise, and has become a great family man.
    Step up to your responsibilities and you will be rewarded ten-fold with the enjoyment of a little one.

    (To those who choose not to marry, that's fine too...but if you open the 'zipper' be prepared to fully open the wallet...for a long time...society should not be financially responsible for your 'adventures'...it's kind of a 'pay to play' format.)
    'Nuff said'.....except for "Congratulations!"
    Last edited by RETSUPT99; December 20th, 2008 at 11:53 AM.
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  8. #7
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    I'm certain that you are nervous.
    If your girlfriend is having her first child then you can probably imagine how nervous she must be.

    The most important thing you can do is make certain she knows that you will always be there for her and help her as much as possible.

    You can keep yourself occupied by doing lots of things to get ready for that new life you're bringing into the world. Start working on that nursery.

    Congratulations.

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    VIP Member Array JAT40's Avatar
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    Yep, marry the girl, do the right thing. She needs to feel secure with a commitment. Now is not the time for head games, become a team and face one day at a time. Your not the first and wont be the last, you can do this. Buck the trend of society and take responsibility of your actions. I'll be pulling for you, GOOD LUCK!!!
    While people are saying "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, ... and they will not escape. 1Th 5:3

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    Distinguished Member Array bandit383's Avatar
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    I say only marry her if you love her...if she is not the one, then you will pay a much bigger price later. Regardless, the child will be your shared responsibility for life.

    Rick

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    I'm going to stay out of the marry / don't marry stuff. It is almost irrelevant.

    There are only a couple of options now--the most reasonable one, you are going to have a baby together somehow, and you are responsible for supporting that baby one way or another for at least 18 years. Make the most of it.

    The other option--if it does not conflict with both of your religious view is abortion. I know that many here will vilify me for making that statement, but that is your perspective and it is not my perspective. Under our present law it is their option.

    And, I will add that you should in NO WAY pressure your girlfriend for any one particular resolution. Not for marriage, not for abortion, not for an agreement letting you off the hook on support-- not for anything.

    You are nervous. Yup. Your life has now changed forever no matter how this turns out.

    I sincerely hope that you and your girlfriend are tight enough to do what is in the best interest for both of your futures. If marriage is appropriate, this could be the best thing that happened to you. If it is not appropriate, well, like you said, you are nervous and perhaps for good reason.

    And finally, I apologize for opening a can of worms, but it certainly is not unheard of for a woman to claim a particular man fathered her child when that is not true. Guess what, even if the claim is untrue, that might not be enough to get you out of child support. If uncertain about your friend's behavior or motives, see a lawyer now.

  12. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopyard View Post
    I'm going to stay out of the marry / don't marry stuff. It is almost irrelevant.

    There are only a couple of options now--the most reasonable one, you are going to have a baby together somehow, and you are responsible for supporting that baby one way or another for at least 18 years. Make the most of it.

    The other option--if it does not conflict with both of your religious view is abortion. I know that many here will vilify me for making that statement, but that is your perspective and it is not my perspective. Under our present law it is their option.

    And, I will add that you should in NO WAY pressure your girlfriend for any one particular resolution. Not for marriage, not for abortion, not for an agreement letting you off the hook on support-- not for anything.

    You are nervous. Yup. Your life has now changed forever no matter how this turns out.

    I sincerely hope that you and your girlfriend are tight enough to do what is in the best interest for both of your futures. If marriage is appropriate, this could be the best thing that happened to you. If it is not appropriate, well, like you said, you are nervous and perhaps for good reason.

    And finally, I apologize for opening a can of worms, but it certainly is not unheard of for a woman to claim a particular man fathered her child when that is not true. Guess what, even if the claim is untrue, that might not be enough to get you out of child support. If uncertain about your friend's behavior or motives, see a lawyer now.
    When do they start aborting the social security folks? Can't have them weighing down the economy you know......and with the SS system failing, it could work...we just have to develop the loopholes to comply with our 'religion'.
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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  13. #12
    Ex Member Array jahwarrior72's Avatar
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    congratulations! welcome to the club.

    don't worry about money. you'll never have enough, so accept you'll always be broke.

    no one's ever ready to be a parent.

    don't bother buying all those "how to" baby books, they're worthless. most of the authors are psuedo-psychologists who have no kids of their own. want advice? ask your parents, your aunts and uncles, your grandparents, your friends with kids. never ask an expert, they're idiots.

    if anyone ever tells you to play Mozart for your fetus, smack them. everyone knows embryos love Tchaikovsky.

    don't let your girlfriend use "being hormonal" as an excuse for bad behavior. otherwise, her hormones will be her excuse 'til the kid goes to college.

    DNA tests are your friends. get one, even if your girl is a saint.

    if you don't drink coffee, start.

    buy gun safe's and/or trigger locks, now.

    when the baby comes, don't smell them for too long. new baby smell is an opiate, and will knock you out cold for hours.

    try not to cry every time you pick the baby up. there might be other guys watching you.

    when you pick the kid up, make sure to make a mental note of every single thing that goes on around you. situational awareness is more important than ever, now.

    get a good digital camera, if you don't already have one. this is so you can take thousands of pictures you can save to embarrass them later on in life.

    kiss the mother often, even when you're pissed off at her.

    the best thing about this new life of yours? it gets better, every day.

    G*D bless.

  14. #13
    Senior Member Array Tyler11B's Avatar
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    thanks for the advice guys its really helping me out alot. I love the girl more then anything in this world so marraige will be the first step. ive talked to all my buddies that have children, and they told me about the same as you guys told me on here. i really appreciate the wisdom. the fact thats its coming has set in and now im actually excited about it. i will keep updates posted on here, thanks alot guys
    U/315
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  15. #14
    Member Array gilliland87's Avatar
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    well seems its all been covered

    Just hang on for the ride and try to keep your chin above water. Its a funny thing turning into a father and how fast you truly grow up. Just remember your number one responsibility is and always will be the well being of the child that depends on YOU for everything. Its a bit daunting right now and does scare the crap outta you at first as you stated but I'm three years in with a second on the way and wouldn't choose anything different. Congrats and good luck.

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    Senior Member Array Cthulhu's Avatar
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    My daughter is nine, and I think I STILL haven't recovered from my wife telling me she was pregnant.

    -JT

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