I don't understand suicide

This is a discussion on I don't understand suicide within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Me neither. My grandparents killed themselves when I was pregnant, I was devastated. I don't get it. My heart goes out to the families......

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Thread: I don't understand suicide

  1. #16
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    Me neither. My grandparents killed themselves when I was pregnant, I was devastated. I don't get it. My heart goes out to the families...
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  3. #17
    Senior Member Array paul45's Avatar
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    I lost my 29 year old son 2 years ago. It was his choice. It was a bad choice for us, the family and all his friends but he choose it at that time. The only explaination is that something broke at that point in time. He was not himself and was not capable of making a rational decision. If they could make rational decisions, then we most likely would not be having this discussion.
    I pray that they all are in a better place.
    "Being PARANOID is just plain smart thinking when they are really out to get you!"

  4. #18
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    I think there are different motives, sometimes they are fully rational and sometimes they are in no way rational and are the result of mental illness.

    Probably most are due to a combination of factors with medical depression or other thinking disorder being a big factor.

    Sometimes just small acts of kindness and compassion can prevent a suicide, and other times there is absolutely nothing which will prevent it. Some folks e will do it as determinedly as the those who are undeterred by pepper spray and other non-lethal defenses.

    My brother in-law shot himself, but he knew he would be dead from cancer in a week or two at most. I don't fault him. I'm sure it was a relief from his agony and it was a relief for our family. OTOH a different brother in-law, also with cancer, made the choice to wait till it happened on its own. Both are individual choice that no one else can judge.

  5. #19
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    Hey, if anybody is ever considering suicide.
    Then just make a fresh start.
    Join Feed The Children. Volunteer at a hospital. Spend some time with some abandoned kids. Help out at an animal shelter. Adopt some abused, mistreated dogs. Go out and start collecting money for Wounded Warriors.
    Go to the local library & teach some kids how to read.
    I can think of a thousand things that would make your life useful and meaningful and that will turn your life right around overnight.
    Like magic you'll have something to live for again and then better things will automatically come your way and good people will find you and befriend you.
    Life is a precious gift.
    Don't ever toss it away.

  6. #20
    Distinguished Member Array pcon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    Hey, if anybody is ever considering suicide.
    Then just make a fresh start.
    Join Feed The Children. Volunteer at a hospital. Spend some time with some abandoned kids. Help out at an animal shelter. Adopt some abused, mistreated dogs. Go out and start collecting money for Wounded Warriors.
    Go to the local library & teach some kids how to read.
    I can think of a thousand things that would make your life useful and meaningful and that will turn your life right around overnight.
    Like magic you'll have something to live for again and then better things will automatically come your way and good people will find you and befriend you.
    Life is a precious gift.
    Don't ever toss it away.
    Every time I ever start feeling down, I always go and do something like this. Not because I'm feeling like I want to end it all, but because it's an easy way to get my mind off whatever is bothering me at that time.
    Μολὼν λαβέ

    memento mori


  7. #21
    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    Hey, if anybody is ever considering suicide.
    Then just make a fresh start.
    Join Feed The Children. Volunteer at a hospital. Spend some time with some abandoned kids. Help out at an animal shelter. Adopt some abused, mistreated dogs. Go out and start collecting money for Wounded Warriors.
    Go to the local library & teach some kids how to read.
    I can think of a thousand things that would make your life useful and meaningful and that will turn your life right around overnight.
    Like magic you'll have something to live for again and then better things will automatically come your way and good people will find you and befriend you.
    Life is a precious gift.
    Don't ever toss it away.
    +1,000

    No matter how tough I have ever had it, there are always thousands before me who have had it worse and the countless who have risen from those tough times to not only overcome their situation but also to teach others to do the same.
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

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  8. #22
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    Some ... just "give up", they don't want to fight the fight any longer.
    Others... well, depression can be a devastating thing to people.

    If you know someone is depressed , down , and then suddenly seem very happy, it is often a sign they are about to commit suicide. Their happiness is because they know the pain will soon be over and have made the decision.

  9. #23
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    While going through rehab after my stroke I was surprised to have been given suicide prevention counseling as part of my rehab program, at the time it did not make any sense to me but after hearing of others just giving up after being disabled it made sense then. I am too ornery and bullheaded to give up and will just work around my limitations.

    I too know someone who has committed suicide, she was a good Flight Engineer who I had flown with both as an instructor and flight examiner, she had made some comments that I nor anyone else in the squadron picked up as having a possible problem until we found out that she had taken her life.
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
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  10. #24
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    Making life useful

    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    Hey, if anybody is ever considering suicide.
    Then just make a fresh start.
    Join Feed The Children. Volunteer at a hospital. Spend some time with some abandoned kids. Help out at an animal shelter. Adopt some abused, mistreated dogs. Go out and start collecting money for Wounded Warriors.
    Go to the local library & teach some kids how to read.
    I can think of a thousand things that would make your life useful

    I totally agree with QK that making your life useful is what gives it purpose and meaning. Taking action to make your life useful is a great deterrent to suicide. Unfortunately, the suicidal depressed person often can not see that choice or option as viable until something changes in their life circumstance, or they receive medical treatment for the depression, or both. So sadly, while QK is basically right, it isn't that simple.

    What everyone who is suicidal should know is that there are probably 20 different medicines on the market that can make dramatic improvements to their depression, and give the depressed person the ability to once again understand the wisdom QK provided,which the depressed person can not see due to their brain disorder.

  11. #25
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    Before anyone says they don't understand how someone could do it and they probably just couldn't deal with the downs. For some people there aren't downs or ups, just unhappiness with everything around them.

  12. #26
    Senior Member Array highvoltage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pcon View Post
    I don't get how someone could take their own life. I'm a fairly young fellow, I'm only 26. I get that life can be hard. I understand depression...
    Apparently not. Unless you've suffered from depression you'll never understand how it feels to be so hopelessly lost that you can't figure out how to go on. And depression is not just "having down days." It's having months, years where there are no "ups."

    Sometimes it's something as simple as a chemical imbalance in the brain that can be controlled by medication. Other times it's far more complex than that.

  13. #27
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    Growing up back in RI my best friend's Mom committed suicide. One Monday morning my best friends Mom woke up, got both her son's, Robert & Alan, ready for school. At the time the boys were 12 & 9 respectively. She then walked the both her boys to the bus stop & made sure they got on the school bus. She then returned home. She then proceeded to commit suicide by hanging herself in the hallway of her home. According to the coroner she committed suicide with 30 minutes of returning home.

    When Robert returned home after school he unlocked the door with his house key and walked into the house calling for his Mom. Robert was the first person to see him Mom hanging in the hallway! I can't begin to imagine what he was going through his head under the circumstances. Robert suddenly stopped walking and turned and stopped his younger brother Alan from going any further into the house. He told Alan to go to the neighbors house until he came to get him later. Alan questioned Robert as to why but Alan followed his big brother's advice and went to the next door neighbors house as he was told. This was one of the smartest things that Robert did under the circumstances.

    Long story short, after Alan was gone, Robert called the police who responded to the house. After the whole incident was over Robert needed quite a bit of psychological help to deal with finding his mother after she committed suicide. After that incident it took quite a while for him to readjust to a "normal" life as it were.

    Robert's Mom was a great lady. Why she did what she did & left two kids who were sure to discover her lifeless body is beyond me!

    Pcon, I'll keep you & your friends families in my thoughts & prayers. There are no easy answers to when someone close to you commits suicide.
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  14. #28
    Distinguished Member Array pcon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highvoltage View Post
    Apparently not. Unless you've suffered from depression you'll never understand how it feels to be so hopelessly lost that you can't figure out how to go on. And depression is not just "having down days." It's having months, years where there are no "ups."

    Sometimes it's something as simple as a chemical imbalance in the brain that can be controlled by medication. Other times it's far more complex than that.
    Who are you to question my life? No, I have not suffered from it personally, but that doesn't mean that I've never known people, close family, who have and are currently suffering through it. Check yourself before you judge other people's statements without knowing about them.

    Respectfully,
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  15. #29
    Senior Member Array highvoltage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pcon View Post
    Who are you to question my life? No, I have not suffered from it personally, but that doesn't mean that I've never known people, close family, who have and are currently suffering through it. Check yourself before you judge other people's statements without knowing about them.

    Respectfully,
    Pcon, I'm not questioning your life. What I'm saying is that unless you've experienced something directly you cannot have a deep appreciation for all that goes on. The same is true for depression.

    With all due respect, you might think you understand what goes on inside the brain of someone suffering from major depression, but you really don't. In the past I couldn't understand the actions of depressed people either, until I started suffering from it myself.

  16. #30
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    One of my colleagues went home one day and blew his brains out in the back yard. His father committed suicide as did his son, apparently suicide can become a family tradition and, no, I'm not trying to be funny. The psychologist who counseled us afterwards said Suicide is the end result of feeling hopeless and helpless. You see your current life as hopeless and you feel helpless to change it. I don't know, I have always prayed to God when things got tough and that seems to keep me going.
    Last edited by skeet732; August 5th, 2009 at 03:30 PM.


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