Son moved out
This is a discussion on Son moved out within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Man, it's always tough cutting the cord and letting them leave the nest!
QKShooter and SIXTO are right... Give him some space and you'll grow ...
August 14th, 2009 09:51 PM
Man, it's always tough cutting the cord and letting them leave the nest!
QKShooter and SIXTO are right... Give him some space and you'll grow closer and become a good cook and he'll gain some weight cause he'll always be over for dinner!
Be happy for the new "Dad Room" you just gained and put a new flat screen in there for the games cause the NFL is On Baby!
"The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."
August 14th, 2009 09:51 PM
August 14th, 2009 09:57 PM
I guess growing up and moving out is a part of life.
Hang in there.
Don't believe what you hear and only half of what you see!
August 14th, 2009 10:15 PM
I definitely understand some of what you are going through...and it's quite a nasty feeling.
I have two boys...both have been 'in and out, and in, and out, and in...
Thing have been tense with each, at different times, for absolutely different things.
One is married now with a couple of kids, but the other 31 year old just moved back in...yep, the ecomony is a 'killer'.
He and I have never really seen 'eye to eye', and at one point he was living only 15 miles away and my wife and I saw him one time in three years. We didn't really understand it. It was quite a disappointment.
But we still sent emails from time to time reminding him that he would always be our son and that we loved him.
As things happen, he called one day out of the blue, and said that his job designing sailboat interiors was being cut way back...he wanted to know if he could move home for a while.
Needless to say, we said "Of course!" and are now being able to establish some kind of parent son relationship again.
This same story is told millions of times...with millions of parents and their children.
Time and distance can go a long ways to rebuilding relationships.
Hang in there...and remain positive with him, even when you don't feel that way. It's hard not to want to give advice, but if they need it, they'll ask.
"That I cannot do."
"Give this to, uh, Clemenza. I want reliable people, people who aren't going to be carried away. After all we're not murderers in spite of what this undertaker thinks."
Certified Glock Armorer
NRA Life Member
August 14th, 2009 10:59 PM
My oldest moved when he 18. He felt he didn't have to obey the rules of the house. With two younger boys, I couldn't let him keep up what he was doing, so I told him to move out... He learned real quick how tough the world was and how he needed more than a HS diploma these days... After about 15 months, he told me he realized how dumb he had been and wanted to move back in and go to college. He's 25 now, almost finished with college, been married 2 years and is a homeowner. He turned out alright... yours will too...
I know what you're going thru, hang in there...
"Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!".... Sam Houston
NRA Life Member
August 15th, 2009 12:14 AM
He will find himself and You too. Give him time and let him know You are there. A new gun/hobbie room.
August 15th, 2009 12:35 PM
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder", it is times like these when we realize the true meaning of love. God always shows us his love even though we cannot physically see or touch Him. May the Father comfort you both and heal any rift between your son and yourself.
God bless our troops!
August 15th, 2009 11:41 PM
I just wanted to thank everyone for their words of encouragement. It really helped.
We all go through trials and tribulations and it is difficult to do it alone. Thank you all for your support.
Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.
August 15th, 2009 11:50 PM
Hang in there. You'll move forward. He'll move forward. Time will improve the matters. You will be lonely. That is OK. That is normal. You will both grow, and end up closer than before. Give it time.
NRA Life Member
"But if they don't exist, how can a man see them?"
"You may think I'm pompous, but actually I'm pedantic... let me explain the difference."
"Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don't ever apologize for anything."
August 16th, 2009 02:14 AM
I was that kid moving out... about 6 months ago. I don't have any advice on how to get through the time, but in my case I realized how good I had it. 6 months out on my own changed everything. I am now back home with my mom and going to be going to school.
I have to agree with what was already said. Sometimes a little distance is whats needed. Give him a few months and it will be better. All I can say is stay in touch. Don't call every day, but let him know you are there for him, love him and miss him. Give it a little time and he will be taking you out to lunch.
ever been interested in reloading ? seems like a good time to start. Find something you love and do it. When i left my mom started by cleaning the house. Then she decided to focus on work more, and was working 65hr weeks as a supervisor in the ER she is at.
It will be rough, but i know you will be fine.
"Dead is dead"
"Yea, till we show up with jumper cables and drugs to debate it"
August 22nd, 2009 12:27 AM
Quick, change the locks!
My daughters and I have become closer than ever now that they are out of the house. Let him learn a little humility and live on Mac & Cheese or Ramien for a while! Best wishes!
Treat me good, I'll treat you better. Treat me bad, I'll treat you worse.
August 22nd, 2009 01:18 AM
Things will get better with time. Tuff love is always the hardest, but usually the best!!!
Originally Posted by dukalmighty
August 22nd, 2009 01:29 AM
My 18 year old daughter thought we were stupid and did not know crap. Told her she either goes to college, get a job or goes in the army. Well She graduated boot camp on Aug 28th in SC Fort Jackson.
Made her grow up and now realizes we were not that bad as she thought. Still would not listen to us, but she is paying her own way and starting her life. Her AIT/MOS is Para-Medic
"When the people fear the government you have tyranny...when the government fears the people you have liberty."
--Thomas Jefferson --
August 22nd, 2009 04:57 AM
I went from being married, and a house of 6..... down to me... in 3 months. Talk about a big change. Son & wife had financial issues and had moved in with us for awhile with their daughter (which is a gem) and they got back on their feet and moved out, daughter moved out to go to college, and I filed for divorce.... so the soon to be Ex... exited.
Talk about "quiet" ..... the dog was great company though.
Now, I have 3 grandkids , spend a lot of time with 2 of them all of the time, daughter now lives 2 blocks away & is married, talk.. etc. with son all of the time. Busy again. It takes some 'adjustment' time, but between 19 & 25 they find out you are alot smarter than they thought you were....
August 22nd, 2009 07:13 AM
I'm lucky that my brothers are close. I know if I was in your shoes, at the worse, say I lost my wife, I would go live with one of them. Maybe my weakness, but I'm not good at being alone.
Originally Posted by ExactlyMyPoint
You would not be a successful father if the kid did not want to fly.
I feel for you huge. Still, just know there are people who never had a mother or father to miss, and as for me, I'll never have a son or a daughter (my wife can not have children).
I know that does not help you much, all I can suggest is hit the gym. It is a good use of time and gets you out of the house.
Comming home to an empty house is tough. Some would say get a dog, might be some truth to that. Good for safety, but hinders travel.
But most of all, no matter what, be proud you were man enough to disagree. I'm not sure if it is a father knows best situation, but good for you if you had some rules.
Could be a while, but he may just find your a better room mate then those friends, maybe not. My guess, 5 to 10 years from now, he will be back around, and you will have new things in your life as will he.
S&W 642 (no-lock) with .38 Spl +P 135 GR Gold GDHP
Glock G31 & G33 with .357 Sig 125 GR. SXT Winchester Ranger
August 22nd, 2009 10:15 AM
The toughest thing I ever had to do was watch my oldest walk away from my van the day I carried her to college I cried the day she went to pre-K and then when she went away to school. I found that the internet connection between the two of us watered our friendship and we got a chance to just "chat". That's something that is hard to do when they live at home and are busy with their school work and socializing with their friends. I cherished those moments at 2:00 am when she was doing her papers and she and I would chat while she worked.
Then she got married and gave me three of those four grandkids of mine. LOL, now I remind her sometimes when she is fussing with them how I used to say I hope she had a house full of kids JUST LIKE HER hehehe.
I will lift you in my prayers tonight that your relationship with your son just gets better and better.
2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
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