Son moved out
This is a discussion on Son moved out within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; As most of you may remember, a few years ago my mom died suddenly. Less than a year later, my dad died of Alzheimer’s.
August 14th, 2009 08:03 PM
Son moved out
As most of you may remember, a few years ago my mom died suddenly. Less than a year later, my dad died of Alzheimer’s.
And now, this week, my son is moving out. He is 19 and thinks he knows everything, so he is not leaving on the super best of terms. I actually think this is a good thing as he will learn quickly much of what I have been saying is true. Plus, not being under my auspices should help things substantially.
But I must say, losing so many relationships over a short period of time takes a toll on one’s heart. My son leaving has left a huge gaping hole in my heart, that even though I think we both love each other, it has me on the brink of crying.
As he was moving out, I was looking at all of his stuff strewn all over the living room. Each item had a distinct memory attached to it. It brought back the story behind it. As he and his friends were moving things out the door, I was looking through the photo album. He was such a happy little boy. I replayed in my mind all the events that surrounded each picture. I loved him so much then. I still do. I walked into his empty room. It seems so strange. It was the center of his life and now it is bare.
Last night, I took out the photo album and showed him the picture of him in the hospital on the day he was born. I told him I loved him from day one and that I will always love him. I think he got it.
This is a difficult time for me right now. I haven’t actually lost a son, but he will be a bit estranged for a bit. I have friends and such, but the relationship of a child is special. It has only been a day, and I already miss him…even if we did fight and disagree a bit. He was there. And now he is not. I must say, it makes a big difference.
OK. I guess I am just using this forum as a blog to put down my thoughts. I will get through it. I always have. But sometimes, just “venting” helps a bit.
Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.
August 14th, 2009 08:11 PM
Vent away, that's one of the reasons Bob Ford's Place was created.
Time heals all wounds.
CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.
August 14th, 2009 08:12 PM
I've got a 13 year old, so I know not what you are going through, yet.
Stay strong, he will probably be around more than you think.
August 14th, 2009 08:17 PM
It's tough under any circumstances. Keep the dialog open. My eldest son left for school before I moved west. He graduated and now he's back in Orlando but busy as heck with work and his own life. My youngest starts basic with the Navy in February. We don't get to talk much so I cherish the times we do. Hang in there and let your son know how you feel about him - OFTEN. Let him also know you're there for him when (not if) he finds out how ugly the world can get.
BE PREPARED - Noah didn't build the Ark when it was raining!
Si vis pacem, para bellum
NRA Life Member
August 14th, 2009 08:22 PM
My oldest moved out at 18 & under very bad circumstances that got much worse over the next year. I definitely feel your pain ExactlyMyPoint!
My best advise:
Keep the communication lines open
Tough love, while perhaps the hardest thing you can do, is often times the best.
Never give up
I am just a PM away if you want to vent more.
NRA Endowment Member
GOA Life Member
August 14th, 2009 08:42 PM
Learn to cook some wicked good meals. That will get him coming home more. In fact, I bet you will see more of him now than when he was living at home.
August 14th, 2009 08:47 PM
My daughter moved out too,actually we moved and forgot to tell her LOL
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
August 14th, 2009 08:50 PM
I've been the 19 year old who thought he knew everything. He'll come around. Sometimes it's hard to appreciate something until it takes effort to have.
August 14th, 2009 09:03 PM
I didn't realize how right my Dad was until I had a kid. It's funny how loving someone more than yourself can make you, your Dad. I kind of know how you feel . Just don't be to willing to give him money, let him now become a man and hope that the values that he leaned from you will be passed on in him and I am sure that when he has a kid he will say ( Dad was right.) I was 19 when I moved out and I am closer with my Dad now than my brother or sister. I now take him fishing and work on his truck.
August 14th, 2009 09:10 PM
August 14th, 2009 09:15 PM
+100 works out that way He'll be back & GOOD LUCK H/D
Originally Posted by SIXTO
A Native Floridian = RARE
IT'S OUR RIGHTS>THEY WANT TO WRONG
August 14th, 2009 09:15 PM
When my daughter moved out it was to try college.....she didn't like it, so she went into the Army. We get along better now.........not that we didn't get along before though.....
Myself however, was a different story.....When I was a teenager I was a pain in the butt to my parents......After I left home my relationship IMPROVED GREATLY with my parents!.......I think yours will improve as well!
Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.-Seneca
"If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. If I have a gun, what do I have to be paranoid about?" -Clint Smith
"An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." -Jeff Cooper
August 14th, 2009 09:23 PM
We take our only son 2 states away from our home Tuesday to college. Our only daughter (also in college, but commutes from home) announced her upcoming nuptials last night. Empty nests everywhere! Not really ready here, but who ever is?
Ain't no fun when the rabbit has a gun!
August 14th, 2009 09:34 PM
I have a nineteen year old daughter at home and i cant wait for her to move out.
August 14th, 2009 09:48 PM
I feel for you.
Originally Posted by ExactlyMyPoint
A year ago my son moved in with his dad. He was gone for 6 months. It tore my heart out.
He started getting in trouble (his dad is a bad influence).
I finally went over there one night, started boxing up all of his stuff and loading it in my car and I said: You're coming home. Don't argue with me.
He's been back living with me ever since. We get along like 2 peas in a pod.
I really don't have any advice because everybody's situation is different.
All I can say is stay in touch with him and do a lot of praying.
"I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."
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