Son moved out

Son moved out

This is a discussion on Son moved out within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; As most of you may remember, a few years ago my mom died suddenly. Less than a year later, my dad died of Alzheimer’s. And ...

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Thread: Son moved out

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Son moved out

    As most of you may remember, a few years ago my mom died suddenly. Less than a year later, my dad died of Alzheimer’s.

    And now, this week, my son is moving out. He is 19 and thinks he knows everything, so he is not leaving on the super best of terms. I actually think this is a good thing as he will learn quickly much of what I have been saying is true. Plus, not being under my auspices should help things substantially.

    But I must say, losing so many relationships over a short period of time takes a toll on one’s heart. My son leaving has left a huge gaping hole in my heart, that even though I think we both love each other, it has me on the brink of crying.

    As he was moving out, I was looking at all of his stuff strewn all over the living room. Each item had a distinct memory attached to it. It brought back the story behind it. As he and his friends were moving things out the door, I was looking through the photo album. He was such a happy little boy. I replayed in my mind all the events that surrounded each picture. I loved him so much then. I still do. I walked into his empty room. It seems so strange. It was the center of his life and now it is bare.

    Last night, I took out the photo album and showed him the picture of him in the hospital on the day he was born. I told him I loved him from day one and that I will always love him. I think he got it.

    This is a difficult time for me right now. I haven’t actually lost a son, but he will be a bit estranged for a bit. I have friends and such, but the relationship of a child is special. It has only been a day, and I already miss him…even if we did fight and disagree a bit. He was there. And now he is not. I must say, it makes a big difference.

    OK. I guess I am just using this forum as a blog to put down my thoughts. I will get through it. I always have. But sometimes, just “venting” helps a bit.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.


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    Vent away, that's one of the reasons Bob Ford's Place was created.

    Time heals all wounds.
    CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.

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    VIP Member Array joker1's Avatar
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    I've got a 13 year old, so I know not what you are going through, yet.

    Stay strong, he will probably be around more than you think.

    Joker1

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    Distinguished Member Array sniper58's Avatar
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    It's tough under any circumstances. Keep the dialog open. My eldest son left for school before I moved west. He graduated and now he's back in Orlando but busy as heck with work and his own life. My youngest starts basic with the Navy in February. We don't get to talk much so I cherish the times we do. Hang in there and let your son know how you feel about him - OFTEN. Let him also know you're there for him when (not if) he finds out how ugly the world can get.
    Tim
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    Member Array Martial Archer's Avatar
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    My oldest moved out at 18 & under very bad circumstances that got much worse over the next year. I definitely feel your pain ExactlyMyPoint!

    My best advise:

    Pray
    Keep the communication lines open
    Tough love, while perhaps the hardest thing you can do, is often times the best.
    Pray more
    Never give up

    I am just a PM away if you want to vent more.

    Peace,
    Martial Archer
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    Learn to cook some wicked good meals. That will get him coming home more. In fact, I bet you will see more of him now than when he was living at home.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    My daughter moved out too,actually we moved and forgot to tell her LOL
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
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    Distinguished Member Array Arko's Avatar
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    I've been the 19 year old who thought he knew everything. He'll come around. Sometimes it's hard to appreciate something until it takes effort to have.
    "Don't Tread on Me"

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    I didn't realize how right my Dad was until I had a kid. It's funny how loving someone more than yourself can make you, your Dad. I kind of know how you feel . Just don't be to willing to give him money, let him now become a man and hope that the values that he leaned from you will be passed on in him and I am sure that when he has a kid he will say ( Dad was right.) I was 19 when I moved out and I am closer with my Dad now than my brother or sister. I now take him fishing and work on his truck.

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    Sometimes putting a little physical distance between two people actually brings them closer together.
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    VIP Member Array hogdaddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    Learn to cook some wicked good meals. That will get him coming home more. In fact, I bet you will see more of him now than when he was living at home.
    +100 works out that way He'll be back & GOOD LUCK H/D
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    When my daughter moved out it was to try college.....she didn't like it, so she went into the Army. We get along better now.........not that we didn't get along before though.....

    Myself however, was a different story.....When I was a teenager I was a pain in the butt to my parents......After I left home my relationship IMPROVED GREATLY with my parents!.......I think yours will improve as well!
    Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.-Seneca

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    Member Array kingdaddyoh's Avatar
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    We take our only son 2 states away from our home Tuesday to college. Our only daughter (also in college, but commutes from home) announced her upcoming nuptials last night. Empty nests everywhere! Not really ready here, but who ever is?
    Ain't no fun when the rabbit has a gun!

  14. #14
    Member Array monsterbass's Avatar
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    I have a nineteen year old daughter at home and i cant wait for her to move out.

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExactlyMyPoint View Post
    But I must say, losing so many relationships over a short period of time takes a toll on one’s heart. My son leaving has left a huge gaping hole in my heart, that even though I think we both love each other, it has me on the brink of crying.

    This is a difficult time for me right now. I haven’t actually lost a son, but he will be a bit estranged for a bit. I have friends and such, but the relationship of a child is special. It has only been a day, and I already miss him…even if we did fight and disagree a bit. He was there. And now he is not. I must say, it makes a big difference.

    OK. I guess I am just using this forum as a blog to put down my thoughts. I will get through it. I always have. But sometimes, just “venting” helps a bit.
    I feel for you.

    A year ago my son moved in with his dad. He was gone for 6 months. It tore my heart out.

    He started getting in trouble (his dad is a bad influence).

    I finally went over there one night, started boxing up all of his stuff and loading it in my car and I said: You're coming home. Don't argue with me.

    He's been back living with me ever since. We get along like 2 peas in a pod.

    I really don't have any advice because everybody's situation is different.

    All I can say is stay in touch with him and do a lot of praying.
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. — Winston Churchill

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