The D word came a'callin last week.... - Page 2

The D word came a'callin last week....

This is a discussion on The D word came a'callin last week.... within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A few days before my wife and I were to celebrate our 25th wedding aniversary, I asked her, since it was such an important milestone, ...

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Thread: The D word came a'callin last week....

  1. #16
    Distinguished Member Array GunGeezer's Avatar
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    A few days before my wife and I were to celebrate our 25th wedding aniversary, I asked her, since it was such an important milestone, what I could get her that would be very special. "Anything within my means", I said. She looked me straight in the eye and said, " a divorce"! I kinda chuckled and said, "you're kidding right"? She said , "I've never been more serious in my life"! Two weeks after the divorce was final she remarried some loser she knew in high school I never heard of before. That was nearly 20 years ago. I've been remarried for the last 11 years to the woman of my dreams. Life just gets better and better. Sometimes the first part is just the dress rehearsal. Hang in there!


  2. #17
    VIP Member Array Tom G's Avatar
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    It would be nice if the kid she is having turned out to be the ex's. Then you could wash your hands of the whole mess. Good luck with the paternity test.

  3. #18
    Distinguished Member Array Black Knight's Avatar
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    There have been many good suggestions here. Instead of finding a good lawyer I would say find the best lawyer you can afford. Send all but the one gun you carry most for self protection to your lawyer for safe keeping. Consider a Private Investigator to obtain "proof" of her intentions and desires. Without proof of her intentions and desires you may be fighting with one or both hands tied behind your back. If you can prove her intention is to be with the other guy she may look like the bad party instead of you. If you now reside in a seperate location from her invest in a home security system in order to alert police of any shenannigans that may be caused by her "new" interests. Document any threats of violence with local law enforcement in case something goes from bad to worse. Keep an eye on your back. Try to have relatively unbiased witnesses around when necessary. It will be a bumpy road for a while so strap in tight. Good luck with everything.

  4. #19
    Senior Member Array Free American's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom G View Post
    It would be nice if the kid she is having turned out to be the ex's. Then you could wash your hands of the whole mess. Good luck with the paternity test.
    Fortunately this scenario is far more likely than one would think...
    They who give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. Benjamin Franklin


    Previously known as "cjm5874"

  5. #20
    Senior Member Array jca1's Avatar
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    start digging and find out whats really going on. Sounds like she may be fooling around since before you moved to me(reading into things). Get any proof you can and just hold on to it. If you find any evidence of infidelity research your states divorce laws. Some states allow you to sue for "alienation of affection" and other things. Hold this card until the game is right to play it.

    Move the guns now as others have stated. Also move the ammo.

    Watch your every step, don't say anything to anyone about her or him, that can be used against you.

    Look around for anything/anyone that at any moment can be a alibi of any kind, should she make any false accusations against you.

    Keep every receipt for everything you buy, even if it's just a drink at the gas station.

    Look into where your paycheck goes. If she has joint ownership of accounts she could easily spend all your money. Stop direct deposits if you can and cash the checks and keep the money safe.

    Document from this moment forward all conversations you have with her or him(if any). try to get phone records(home and cell) to see if the two have been talking a lot and for how long/when they started.

    In a situation like this women have the advantage. Don't trust for one second that she will be civil throughout, until you have it in writing and still be careful then. She may very well be speaking to an attorney as I type this, discovering a whole new world about screwing you.

    Women don't divorce over firearms in the house, nor do they divorce because they want to see someone else. They divorce because they want to see someone else everyday instead of once or twice a week, you know.

    Next, a tough one. At this moment you have to change from a husband to an enemy in waiting. Stop loving her, turn that switch off. Turn the hate switch on. Be civil but not compassionate, understanding but not willing to accept anything. Appear distraught and heartbroken to everyone, talk about how much you love her and can't believe it, but inside wish the house would fall on that witch too.
    If I gave a crap about what you think about my guns.....it was early this morning and I already flushed it!

  6. #21
    Member Array mjmoore's Avatar
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    My divorce cost me half of everything I owned and all my hopes and dreams for the next several years .
    It would have been a bargin at twice the price .
    Do not let your emotions make you do something stupid like telling her , her lawyer and the judge where they can go and what they can do when they get there and everything will turn out ok .
    Good luck there are better days ahead .
    We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police

  7. #22
    VIP Member Array automatic slim's Avatar
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    Ditto on what Patti said.
    "First gallant South Carolina nobly made the stand."
    Edge of Darkness

  8. #23
    VIP Member Array Stevew's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about the divorce. Remeber you are in control. At least you found out that it wasn't working now, rather than ten years from now.
    Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around laws. Plato

  9. #24
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    Sorry to hear about the divorce. I can only add that in many states, divorces will not be finalized until she gives birth. That is so child support can be determined. If she has only recently become pregnant, since you moved and you believe her EX is the father, You should file for divorce based on adultery. In many states the person filing for the divorce is the complainant and is the person in control. If there is a question about the paternity, a amniocentesis can be performed to determine the paternity of the baby, before she gives birth.

    Good luck, I'll say a prayer for you , hang in there.
    "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!".... Sam Houston

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  10. #25
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    One more thing...I'm under the impression that you have no children together, she is only pregnant. If yes... She asked you to move out and you did... You need to cut off any and all financial assistance to keep the household running. She has a child by her Ex, it's they're duty to support that child, not yours. A divorce attorney will tell you to separate your money as fast as possible. She wanted you out, then you leave and take your money with you. Any money you give her will be used, against you, to pay for her attorney fees, etc...

    No divorce is ever civil.... never...
    "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!".... Sam Houston

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  11. #26
    Distinguished Member Array Arko's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about your situation. All I would add, is not only get your weapons out of the house, AND vouchered as suggested, but also consider temporarily going without your carry weapon as well. Tough idea to take, I know, but what's to say she won't claim you threatened her with THAT one as well? Even if you don't carry in her presence, and re-arm after interaction with her, she'd probably be hip to that as well, and still know when to make the call.

    It sounds paranoid, but as many have mentioned, it's not IF it will go sour, it's WHEN.
    "Don't Tread on Me"

  12. #27
    Member Array SteveinNEPA's Avatar
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    Well, Im 5 hours away from it all at this point with no intention of going back there. We shall see how it all pans out, and I will keep your insight/knowledge fresh in my mind.

    -Steve
    BETTER TO BE TRIED BY 12 THAN CARRIED BY 6
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    If your head is up your *$$ you are unaware of danger. You are in the perfect position to kiss it goodbye.
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  13. #28
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TX-JB View Post
    Sorry to hear about the divorce. I can only add that in many states, divorces will not be finalized until she gives birth. That is so child support can be determined. If she has only recently become pregnant, since you moved and you believe her EX is the father, You should file for divorce based on adultery. In many states the person filing for the divorce is the complainant and is the person in control. If there is a question about the paternity, a amniocentesis can be performed to determine the paternity of the baby, before she gives birth.

    Good luck, I'll say a prayer for you , hang in there.
    DNA tests can be performed through amniocentesis, but it carries a certain amount of risk:

    Amniocentesis : American Pregnancy Association
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill

  14. #29
    Member Array SnubMan's Avatar
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    Wow you got a tough situation --- Seems like everybody has given you good advice so far. I would talk to friends/family about it as much as you need to... it will help and everyone will be willing to listen as they know how much this is going to suck for you. Good luck and keep your cool and just focus on making forward progess.

  15. #30
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    Good Luck.

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