Food for Thought

This is a discussion on Food for Thought within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I'm a college student in Durham, North Carolina. I own a pick up truck and am often asked by friends to help them move their ...

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Thread: Food for Thought

  1. #1
    Member Array dhuggin1's Avatar
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    Food for Thought

    I'm a college student in Durham, North Carolina. I own a pick up truck and am often asked by friends to help them move their belongings when they are moving. So I wasn't surprised at all when a lady friend asked if I could move some items out of the house she was staying in to an apartment. I asked why she was moving she replied someone was killed in front of the house they were staying in and she did not feel safe. Not wanting to prod I obliged and later that evening helped her move. Finally, she volunteered the details. Any thoughts on this situation and how to handle a similar situation would be nice.

    My female friends were grilling out on their back porch, and the guy one of them was currently dating came by to visit for a short amount of time. She greeted him in the street while he remained in his car. A car full of guys drove by and stopped attempting to talk to my friend who was standing outside of the car. One of the guys in the car said, "Hey don't I know you". My friend replied, "If you know me what is my name? Exactly you don't know, and you don't know me." The guys yelled an obscenity and pulled off. So her male friend was getting ready to leave and went inside the house to tell my other friend goodbye. When he exited out of the house to his car, the car from earlier was parked directly across from his on the opposite side of the street. He walked to his car and kissed my other friend on the cheek goodbye. That is when an occupant from the car said something to the effect of so that is your girlfriend. He replied, "No, she's a friend. Are ya'll from Durham?" And the guy at this time said, "Why does it matter where I'm from?" He replied, "I'm from Durham also, there is no need for this hostility." At that point in time the guy said something else to him. My friend's male friend told her to back away. As soon as my friend backed away the guy who had been chastising him shot him and the car pulled off. They drove down the street did a U turn and by this time my other friend had ran outside to make sure everything was okay. Upon seeing them coming back down the street she yelled to get down and they both hit the ground. No shots were fired. About a minute later the police and ems came. They didn't even bother to check their man's vitals, he was pronounced dead at the scene. The blood was still stained in the street as I moved her furniture out. I put myself in that situation and find it is plausible it could happen to me. I probably would have got in my truck and not spoken to a car full of scum bags who obviously were up to no good. I tend to try to ignore them, but the criminal element is the criminal element. You can't predict their behavior. Thoughts or comments?

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    VIP Member Array Hiram25's Avatar
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    I think when they saw the car had come back and was parked across the street it would have been 911 time. I'd have had LE check them out prior to walking out to a car load of you don't know what.

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    Like you said try to ignore them, however I would not leave the house full of women there with them lurking. Might warrant a call to the police to just cruise down the street and show the jerks that they are near, let the police know what happened and give a good description of the car and occupants.
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    Geez, that's terrible to hear. There's not much to do in that situation different other than attempt to completely ignore the punks. The girl saying "If you know me what is my name? Exactly you don't know, and you don't know me." was not smart. Understandable when being accosted by strange men, but not smart. A simple and polite "I'm sorry, I don't think I know you" would have sufficed.

    But there's no saying that doing anything differently would have avoided the situation, all we can do is throw out what-ifs. All I can say I would have done in his position would be to ignore them, and if I thought they were hostile probably go back inside and call the police. Given that description of the situation it's hard to tell how hostile they sounded though, he may not have really had a chance at all to see it coming.

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    Member Array Jcabin's Avatar
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    When bad people are intent on doing bad things, there is nothing you can do short of killing them(see self defense) to change their minds.

    You can debate the what if's, but we will never know.
    The girl should have followed a simple rule, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. She should have kept her mouth shut. Antagonizing a group of young adult male scumbags is a quick way to end up raped/dead.

    ETA: It's a free country, and you can do whatever you want so long as it doesn't infringe on other peoples rights. Be it flipping someone off for cutting you off, or being a wise ass to what any person with common sense could clearly recognize as the criminal element. Nobody deserves to be shot at for flipping someone off, and that is on the aggressor for reacting in such a way. But talking trash to thugs, common sense says don't do it, because there is a HIGH chance of being attacked. You don't deserve to be attacked, but you should have known better.

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    Member Array ZombieShoot's Avatar
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    Did they catch the guys?

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    Damn, Im sorry. I hope they catch those scumbags.
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    Senior Member Array Spade115's Avatar
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    Sorry for your friends friend :(

    Hope they catch them, honestly ignoring them would of been good but I agree leaving a house full of girls with some unknown guys outside has never sat well with me either. Would of called the cops and a few friends so it looks like more people are comeing. safety in numbers.
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    Member Array dhuggin1's Avatar
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    As of right now I don't believe they have caught them. They had no idea who they were, besides a vehicle description and a description of who they saw thats all they had to go on. Just a screwed up situation.

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    VIP Member Array paramedic70002's Avatar
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    Got a link to a news story? I try to collect different scenarios like this for if I ever have to answer in court as to why I was armed...

    Suppose the guy went inside and called 911. I'll defer to an LEO here what would happen, depending on how busy that PD is, but I bet either:

    1. The dispatcher says there is no reason to send an LEO.
    2. The LEO never shows up or shows way later.
    3. The LEO does a drive by, maybe gives them the stink eye, and keeps on going.
    4. The LEO stops long enough to see there is no crime going on and goes away.
    5. The LEO actually pokes around and finds a reason to roust the BGs because of a vehicle violation or warrants, or at least advises them to move along.

    All I'm saying is it's possible calling 911 will not fix the problem, at least in the time frame you need it fixed. Maybe camping out in the house long enough will make them go away. Maybe you have urgent business and need to get in your car. That may involve them following you/net good either.

    So what do you do if you call 911 and later you find them still there?
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    Member Array dhuggin1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paramedic70002 View Post
    Got a link to a news story? I try to collect different scenarios like this for if I ever have to answer in court as to why I was armed...

    Suppose the guy went inside and called 911. I'll defer to an LEO here what would happen, depending on how busy that PD is, but I bet either:

    1. The dispatcher says there is no reason to send an LEO.
    2. The LEO never shows up or shows way later.
    3. The LEO does a drive by, maybe gives them the stink eye, and keeps on going.
    4. The LEO stops long enough to see there is no crime going on and goes away.
    5. The LEO actually pokes around and finds a reason to roust the BGs because of a vehicle violation or warrants, or at least advises them to move along.

    All I'm saying is it's possible calling 911 will not fix the problem, at least in the time frame you need it fixed. Maybe camping out in the house long enough will make them go away. Maybe you have urgent business and need to get in your car. That may involve them following you/net good either.

    So what do you do if you call 911 and later you find them still there?
    You present a good point. I haven't been able to find any news links to it. Crazy week. Didn't know the guy but knew the females that were affected by it. But a guy I worked with last summer, college student same age as myself was killed. All the details are not out yet but that did make the news. Apparently seemed like there was an argument and the guy he was arguing with shot him. Crazy, because James was not the type to argue.

  13. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jcabin View Post
    When bad people are intent on doing bad things, there is nothing you can do short of killing them(see self defense) to change their minds.

    You can debate the what if's, but we will never know.
    The girl should have followed a simple rule, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. She should have kept her mouth shut. Antagonizing a group of young adult male scumbags is a quick way to end up raped/dead.
    There's a lot of truth to that first statement. Especially with gang bangers.

    Often times there is no correct answer to what is asked. If they are wanting to start something, anything you say will be used as a reason for them to escalate a situation. They went into the situation looking to start trouble.

    Sadly, often times keeping your mouth shut and not saying a word is also considered being disrespectful and "dissing" them. Again, they were looking to start something when they opened their mouth.

    One poster mentioned maybe she shouldn't have been so rude in her response. I'll buy that. However, had she been polite and simply said, "I don't believe we've ever met," Likely, they would see that as an invitation to keep it up. Then they'd be asking her why she's hanging out with those losers she was talking to in the first place.

    It's all part of a twisted game bangers play. They plan to escalate things into a situation where they feel they can now be justified in beating someone down or kill someone.

    So, sometimes you are stuck in a no win situation. Anything you say is going to be the wrong answer and not saying anything is being disrespectful.

    In such cases, you may be in for a fight for your life in very short order.

    Which is why if you want to carry a gun and have a ccw permit, then carry the damn gun 100% of the time. You never know when evil is going to cross your path, and if you aren't prepared... Well enough said on that rant.

    This was a bad situation.

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