guy goes to grab my wife's purse....

This is a discussion on guy goes to grab my wife's purse.... within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by beaker it seems to be the same excuses no matter what i say. she's worse then an TRUE anti gun person. and ...

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Thread: guy goes to grab my wife's purse....

  1. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by beaker View Post
    it seems to be the same excuses no matter what i say. she's worse then an TRUE anti gun person. and i try to talk to her in a polite way to try and change her mind. talking to her with respect and not talking down to her to teach her the importance of these things. but she some how turns it negatively and raises her voice when all i'm trying to do is help her learn from past scenarios. i tell her things like i'm concerned for her safety. she should do everything she can to protect herself. but refuses. i really don't know what else to do.
    Has she taken any other handgun training other than just what may have been required for her permit? Sometimes it's hard for husbands/wives to take advice from a spouse but someone else (another instructor) might be able to help her out.

    Honestly, if I were in your position I would ask her if she was willing to do some outside training and try my hardest to arrange a one-on-one training with an NRA instructor or something similar. I would tell the instructor about her mindset and encounters and ask him or her to be discreet but to address some of those issues in the training and maybe that could get through to her.

    I must say that her mindset is rather frightening and while I'm glad she's willing to be armed it's almost like she's using the FACT that she carries as the weapon and thinks that will protect her and not some other common sense actions that have already been mentioned.

    i hope you figure this out with her.

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  3. #47
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    She's telling you.... she doesn't want to believe it and doesn't want to 'harm' someone .... IMHO.

    I hate to say it, but that's often the type of person that their own gun is taken away from them, and then used on them by the BG.

    Good Luck. Maybe showing her a lot of stories in the news and show her how frequently things do happen will help.
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  4. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treo View Post
    I'm sorry but I'd have had the gun out as soon as he touched the purse. DW knows she's slow and she keeps her hand on the gun in the parking lot I think she'd of drawn too.
    Anytime I'm in a closed in situation like that, I'm trying to remember to have the zippers open on the holster section of my purse. I cross-shoulder carry the purse, with the purse hanging at my left hip.

    I can have my hand in there and not look esp suspicious....like I'm fumbling for keys, etc.

    I can also fire thru the purse. I practiced aiming with my old purse and need to do so with my new one. I may only get one shot off, so that is what I practice.....shooting, immediately drawing, racking, and aiming again.

    Has she considered shooting thru the purse? Not ideal by any means, but can give the advantage of surprise.. (Like anything else, it requires practice)

    I'm very glad things worked out for her. However I dont think I would have announced my gun's presence. And as already said, this seemed like a good time for OC spray.
    Fortune favors the bold.

    Freedom doesn't mean safe, it means free.

    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)

  5. #49
    VIP Member Array packinnova's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by limatunes View Post
    Has she taken any other handgun training other than just what may have been required for her permit? Sometimes it's hard for husbands/wives to take advice from a spouse but someone else (another instructor) might be able to help her out.

    Honestly, if I were in your position I would ask her if she was willing to do some outside training and try my hardest to arrange a one-on-one training with an NRA instructor or something similar. I would tell the instructor about her mindset and encounters and ask him or her to be discreet but to address some of those issues in the training and maybe that could get through to her.

    I must say that her mindset is rather frightening and while I'm glad she's willing to be armed it's almost like she's using the FACT that she carries as the weapon and thinks that will protect her and not some other common sense actions that have already been mentioned.

    i hope you figure this out with her.
    I was thinking the same thing. It's almost as if she thinks the fact that the gun is in her purse that it's some sort of magic talisman. I second the training call. Maybe even better to pair her up with a FEMALE instructor if at all possible. I'm just thinking from the perspective of noticing women tend to pay more attention to what other WOMEN say, particularly after their husbands, boyfriends, fathers, brothers etc... have not managed to get through that battle...
    "My God David, We're a Civilized society."

    "Sure, As long as the machines are workin' and you can call 911. But you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, and you scare the **** out of them; no more rules...You'll see how primitive they can get."
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  6. #50
    VIP Member Array Guns and more's Avatar
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    duplicate post. sorry

  7. #51
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    He was begging for a snout full of OC spray,
    Yep. Then start screaming until someone helps.
    Who wouldn't understand that?
    The fact that Wal-Mart lets this guy annoy customers says something about Wal-Mart.

  8. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treo View Post
    I'm sorry but I'd have had the gun out as soon as he touched the purse. DW knows she's slow and she keeps her hand on the gun in the parking lot I think she'd of drawn too.
    In Florida, this might well end with you being sent to prison on a mandatory three year sentence for aggravated assault with a firearm.
    Battle Plan (n) - a list of things that aren't going to happen if you are attacked.
    Blame it on Sixto - now that is a viable plan.

  9. #53
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    I am glad your wife is OK.
    "The Second Amendment: America's Original Homeland Security"

  10. #54
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    I can't believe those of you who won't let a stranger get closer than 20' without a warning; are now defending a stranger for grabbing a woman's purse.
    "All he did was ask what was in the purse."

    "He was mentally challenged." or yeah? What if he had a knife, but didn't understand that it was bad to stab someone?

  11. #55
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    Edit: Sorry, meant to include this:

    Quote Originally Posted by friesepferd View Post
    and that is exactly why i 1) i dont carry a purse 2) i sure as heck dont keep my gun in my purse and 3) I tell others not to purse carry.
    If she is going to consider purse carry, I highly suggest she find a purse that can connect to her body in some way, so that it cant actually be taken away.
    I use the wilderness safepacker, which rides on my belt just like a OWB holster, but looks kinda like a hip new purse stlye, whenever I really cant use my normal IWB holster.
    Im sure there are purses out there that can both go over your should and around your waist, or over the shoulder and also snap to a belt. If not, you can retrofit one to do that.

    A gun in a purse isnt quite that much of a disadvantage. First, if it's seriously attached to your body, it's dangerous. It will just pull a small-to-medium sized woman off her feet. If it's a motorcyle or bike grab, she could be dragged. I carry cross-shoulder and the strap is wire-reinforced.

    Give up the purse. Let them take it if you are unable to turn and run. If they do grab the purse, with or without the gun in it....then still turn and run, away and try to put cover between you. They wont find the gun immediately.

    It's only stuff. Not worth your life and not even worth shooting or pulling your gun and getting hit with legal fees.


    As I said before, better SA would allow her to have her gun in her hand, in her purse if done correctly. He shouldnt have gotten close enough to touch the purse (what woman allows that, even non-carriers???)...I would be backing away immediately at a strange male (or female) entering my space, and that's not arm's reach.

    In general, I put a wide space between myself and groups like that (partly because I hate walking thru clouds of smoke) unless I absolutely have to. And I would be alert if I did have to.

    With my cross-shoulder purse carry my gun will be at my left hip. I can be backing away, body bladed with left side of purse aimed directly at a bg. Hand on gun, he wont even know there's something aimed at him. I can shoot thru the purse if absolutely necessary but that's not optimum (altho I've practiced it), or draw quickly and already be aiming directly at him, still backing away.
    Fortune favors the bold.

    Freedom doesn't mean safe, it means free.

    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)

  12. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jcabin View Post

    Purse carry is irresponsible. If your gun is stolen by a purse snatcher you didn't do enough. You shouldn't be charged with anything, but you are an IDIOT. Nobody deserves to be the victim of a crime, but sometimes they should have known better.

    You don't walk into the bad part of town where you know you will be beaten, and then claim "that's not right". Yeah, it's not right, but you should have known better.

    Get her a holster, spend 9,000$ on one, buy her a new wardrobe. I don't care, something, anything but purse carry.

    Wow, so it's better to go unarmed than carry in a purse? Your post is ignorant of some realities of purse carry.

    I'm 50, carried a purse all my life, including yrs in NYC and never had my purse stolen. I'm sure the percentage of women who have lost/had purses stolen is less than those that havent.

    And altho you denied it, you most defintely were blaming the victim for the crime...twice. I have the right to carry anywhere it's legal, anytime, and in the manner of my choosing. I dont live in fear, I just try to be prepared...which anyone holster or purse carrying can do. Do you also blame the poorly trained holster carrier who get's disarmed by a bg? Or the one's who's guns are stolen from their cars? Or cars stolen with their guns inside? (huh, shouldnt have parked in the WalMart lot I guess, I'm irresponsible).

    I can draw from my purse as fast as an average-trained man from a holstered gun. My hand can be on my gun anytime I'm walking around, I dont have a garment to flip out of the way. I dont even have to draw to fire (and I've practiced the angles for shooting from within the purse.)
    Fortune favors the bold.

    Freedom doesn't mean safe, it means free.

    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)

  13. #57
    VIP Member Array 9MMare's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spirit51 View Post
    I have a several purses for carrying my gun. Most not only go over my shoulder...they go over my head too. When I am going into a store, especially alone, the weapon compartment is unzipped and a firm grip on my weapon. If they grab my purse...I still have my gun.
    .
    Thanks, this is a really helpful addition to my tactics. I often do the first, but the second part is great.

    I can pretend to be handing it over, drawing in the process. I think that would have a decent element of surprise. If they ran off with the purse, I still wouldnt shoot, just retain it to protect myself if they attempted to retaliate.
    Fortune favors the bold.

    Freedom doesn't mean safe, it means free.

    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)

  14. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eagleks View Post
    She's telling you.... she doesn't want to believe it and doesn't want to 'harm' someone .... IMHO.

    I hate to say it, but that's often the type of person that their own gun is taken away from them, and then used on them by the BG.

    Good Luck. Maybe showing her a lot of stories in the news and show her how frequently things do happen will help.
    I agree. She does not sound committed at all to using it if necessary. Like Lima said, she seems to think of it as a magic talismen that will protect her just because she has it.

    And now she's had positive reinforcement that it will, really. It just did work. "I have a gun"....."oh sorry, nevermind."

    I think she'd be better off with OC and/or really intense flashlight to shine in someone's eyes. Just IMO.....it's certainly her right to carry if she chooses.
    Fortune favors the bold.

    Freedom doesn't mean safe, it means free.

    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)

  15. #59
    Member Array beaker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 9MMare View Post
    I agree. She does not sound committed at all to using it if necessary. Like Lima said, she seems to think of it as a magic talismen that will protect her just because she has it.

    And now she's had positive reinforcement that it will, really. It just did work. "I have a gun"....."oh sorry, nevermind."
    exactly. its worked on a few occasions. this isn't the only one. but we talked about this too. she finally agreed its not the best idea to tell someone you're armed. especially the exact location of the weapon.

    Quote Originally Posted by 9MMare View Post
    Has she considered shooting thru the purse? .... this seemed like a good time for OC spray.
    the zipper is usually open when she's walking around. so i'm sure its ran through her mind. though i've never talked to her about it. definitely something to consider if she's willing to talk about it.. i'm still going to try to convince her to carry spray. at least a small can on her key chain. there is no negative side to carrying spray which is why i don't understand why she wouldn't do it. i can see people not carrying a gun as they are inharently dangerous if you don't know how to use them... BUT SPRAY.. not lethal.. i could see it getting in your own face if you sprayed it into the wind... but thats easily preventable. and better then getting shot by your own gun.

    Quote Originally Posted by limatunes View Post
    Has she taken any other handgun training other than just what may have been required for her permit? Sometimes it's hard for husbands/wives to take advice from a spouse but someone else (another instructor) might be able to help her out.

    Honestly, if I were in your position I would ask her if she was willing to do some outside training and try my hardest to arrange a one-on-one training with an NRA instructor or something similar. I would tell the instructor about her mindset and encounters and ask him or her to be discreet but to address some of those issues in the training and maybe that could get through to her.

    I must say that her mindset is rather frightening and while I'm glad she's willing to be armed it's almost like she's using the FACT that she carries as the weapon and thinks that will protect her and not some other common sense actions that have already been mentioned.

    i hope you figure this out with her.
    like any suggestion, i'm sure it will get shot down. but it's worth a try. and no, she hasn't had any other training other then the class provided. i'm going to suggest we BOTH go do some extra training. her dad owns a large area of land with lots of trees. so maybe we can go up there and practice a few things too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Guns and more View Post
    "He was mentally challenged." or yeah? What if he had a knife, but didn't understand that it was bad to stab someone?
    exactly my point. just because someone is mental doesn't mean they aren't incapable of harming someone. but that is just one thing she needs to work on.. she's way to trusting of people.. like if they don't harm her, or attempt to in the first 2 seconds of conact they are harmless. i'll admit my SA is lacking at times. but i really don't think someone would have the chance to get that close to me with NO ONE else in my general vacinity. even if the shoe is on the other foot.. IE: if i'm walking and someone is in my route and NO ONE else is around, i walk way around them as to not freak them out if i get to close. especially someone who may not be aware of my presence yet and could be startled if i get close enough.

    i can't believe its been like 2 months now and its still bothering me. she has been in a few situations before similar to this and they didn't bother me for more then the day she told me about it. but maybe because she handled those other situations very well. but this one... so many things could have went wrong and i consider her VERY lucky she wasn't hurt/killed. if i was in a situation like this and she suggested something to me i'd take it and run with it. i'll take any chance i can get to help protect myself. i may even get some pepper spray. or at least a stun gun of some kind. quite possibly take some self defense fighting courses.

  16. #60
    Member Array CyanLite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MattInFla View Post
    In Florida, this might well end with you being sent to prison on a mandatory three year sentence for aggravated assault with a firearm.
    How so? The person is IN THE ACT OF COMMITTING ROBBERY. If she gives up her purse, she also essentially hands over a firearm to him. That's not smart.

    Regardless if he's mental or not, the victim doesn't know someone's mental status. They could be high on drugs, or they could be a serial rapist.

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