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guy goes to grab my wife's purse....

5K views 59 replies 40 participants last post by  CyanLite 
#1 ·
my head is spinning right now in bafflement. so i'm more or less typing this to help me get my thoughts straight. i would like input of course. maybe what you would have done.

my wife was by herself at wally world the other day. it was like 7am. as she's walking in, right before the door there are newspaper dispensers. a headline catches her eye... she stops to read it.

out of the side of her eye, she notices some employees on break talking, smoking. one of "them" walks over towards her and before she cold react gets close enough to her you couldn't slip a piece of paper between them. he shoves his debit card in her face and says "i need money." this guy is mental by the way (i don't recall what they said he had) and turns out he wasn't a wal-mart employee but was wearing the typical blue t-shirt they wear. he frequents the area and causes trouble with some customers. but the employees let him stay around and talk to him. i guess they get a good laugh out of him. but he's known to make a lot of customers uneasy and nervous when he confronts them.

it startled her at first but thought it was a joke and says "uh, sorry i don't really have any money." the guy then grabs her purse and says, "whats in here" now here's the kicker, her gun is in her purse; she has a conceal carry purse. she says "something dangerous" the guy says "oh what, a bear" she says "no, like a 9mm" and he walked away.

now my wife is borderline disabled. she really cannot run. she has to use a cane sometimes to walk. she didn't have it with her this time. she loves informing people she's armed. maybe it's just me, i don't like telling people, especially men, bigger then me, close enough to me to take advantage of me, that i have something that they would want like a gun. especially in the case that he's grabbing on to what contains her gun. i told her she's lucky he was mental. if he was a criminal he could have grabbed your purse and you'd be SOL. i told her it would have went like this whats in here, a gun, ah don't hurt me, bang bang bang... bang. now its mine. what else is in there???

she agreed when i said she needs to carry it on her person more often. especially when alone but as far as to stop telling people she's armed, she says it scares people away... not always, not when someone has the upper hand on you already.

she of course called the cops. but what irked me, one of the managers told her she shouldn't call the cops.

the responding officer said there was no crime. and if she did pull her gun she could have been charged. to me, if he grabbed her purse, he (a mental person) is now in possession of a gun... YOUR GUN (another offense in itself), your only form of self defense. it's officially a life threatening situation. the cop kind of agreed. but he did say, "you know how to prevent something like this? next time, don't say a gun when someone asks what's in your purse. walk away, say leave me alone, if he approaches you then, pull your gun..." she was only a few feet from the entrance by the way
 
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#34 ·
My first thoughts have been mentioned already:

There was an assault

Management needs a thumping

The cop was wrong

Purse carry is not a great idea

Pepper spray is good to have. The last thing on this guys mind after a face full of Sabre Red will be rooting around in your purse.
 
#35 ·
Another possiblity would be for her to carry a purse with no valuables in it and carry her gun and valuables in a fanny pack or other method. The addition of OC woulld give her another option. This would allow her to relenquish the purse with no struggle and still not suffer the loss of any valuables. In her particular case this might be the safest option.

I may have been too brief in my previous posts so I thought I would elaborate on my thinking.

My response was based strictly on what was contained in the OP and if I felt the elements of the crimes were present. That interpretation was based on my own experience and could be very different from that of someone with similar experience.

First, based on the narrative in the OP, it appears to show at the least an incomplete job on the part of the officer. Failure of the officer to question whether she had to struggle to maintain control of the purse and other similar questions of her and other witnesses. These questions and their answers would further the clarity of the situation and more clearly establish an assault or attempted robbery. Whether this occurred and was inadvertently left out by the OP is unknown.

Departmental policies enacted by departmental executives have a significant influence on arrests made by their officers. These may be influenced by case law, local or otherwise, civil litigation the department has been involved in, in addition to and views of individual executives and Watch Sargeants or Watch Commanders who must approve the arrests that any officer brings in. Some (W/S & W/C ) tend to be less demanding on their requirements, some more stringent. That was the reason for my original comment re the approval of the W/Sergeant.

Hopefully this will clarify the thoughts related to my earlier posts.
 
#38 ·
No crime? Putting your wife in fear of imminent attack qualifies, I believe. If he did that to my wife (she and I are 3rd degree black belt, due to test for our 4th degree next month) - he would have been spitting up teeth and howling over a shattered knee or two.

You asked for advice - I understand she is somewhat disabled, and for that reason especially she needs to get that 9mm on her person, at all times.

Out of the purse. In a holster. Practice lots drawing it.
 
#39 ·
I hate to say this about a fellow LEO, but he's an idiot. Strong arm robbery is a crime, a felony in most states. In many states you're allowed to use deadly force to defend your property. Your wife would have probably been jusified in shooting him.
I don't think she should advertise that she's armed, one day someone will take it upon themselves to disarm her. She's also far too vulnerable to carry in her purse, this may be a good lesson for her.
I would see an attorney, since the store allows a dangerous individual to loiter on the premises and intimidate customers, they need to be sued.
Finally, anytime an incident involving a firearm occurs, by all means call the police. Nothing impresses a jury and judge more than a paper trail.
 
#40 ·
wow this struck quite a few chords. more then i was expecting. thank you all for your replies.

now to clear a few things up. this came at a bad time as i am in route to the desert. so i won't be on all that often to clear things up at least till i get there and get settled in the next few days.

she was in fear once the guy grabbed her purse and asked of the contents. so the fear was there, and it was at that moment she started to back away. i will no doubt bring all of your suggestions to her.

she did recently purchase a bersa 380. she does carry that when she walks the dog.

she did mention having to spend money on a wardrobe. i just said your life is more important then spending several hundred bucks on some cloths.

i'll definitely recommend she speak to a lawyer.

her disability by the way, if it helps explain things, she broke her back several years ago. had a bilateral fracture in L5 or L7 iirc. thanks to some incompetent doctors in the military, it wasn't found right away. and it was just to late to do immediate surgery to correct it and fix it properly.

if i forgot anything, sorry, i'm running low on juice on my laptop and no plugs in sight. next time i log on i'll spend a little more time reading and replying to anything i missed.
 
#44 · (Edited by Moderator)
Why oh why do u people continue to shop at the w -k marts ?????
It's amazing how many post about the bg are at wal mart !!!!
Do you at least understand how bad they mess up the country ? Mom and pop shops ? Your local econmy ?????
Are you kidding .. U get robbed while you are shopping to rob your local econmy ??????

" the socks are cheap "
you shop there you deserve the scum you Incounter !
 
#45 ·
ok i know this was a while ago. but the discussions between me and her finally stopped about this. she's pretty much refused everything y'all have mentioned. my wife is not the typical gun carrier. she carries it for protection of course, but she still thinks, "it won't ever happen to me" thats basically what she said to me today "look it was almsot 2 months ago, it probably won't happen again" but yet it seems like when she's alone she attracts the scum bags. already since i've been gone for a month, she's encountered 2 scum bags.

her excuses get really lame too. she has to have an excuse for EVERYTHING. when i mentioned the pepper spray idea, she said, what if the guy is on drugs, it won't effect him. i just said, what if he's not? it will still effect his vision, giving you that extra edge. i said, besides, its just an extra tool to use in case.. JUST LIKE A GUN. its not a requirement to use the pepper spray first. she has a stun gun (one of those up close and personal ones) but she doesn't carry it. says its impractical... she wouldn't let people get that close. but yet it just happened here.

i mentioned of course that she told the guy what was in the purse as she was walking away. what's to stop him from doing something then. you're facing away from him and not expecting it. you're disabled. now he's got your purse and you're unprotected. of course all she could say was all he wanted was money. i told her she doesn't know that for sure. criminals use ploys like that to get close to their victims. its like she thinks people don't have malicious intent unless provoked.. and/or she can change that intent with just words. with telling someone she's armed.

it seems to be the same excuses no matter what i say. she's worse then an TRUE anti gun person. and i try to talk to her in a polite way to try and change her mind. talking to her with respect and not talking down to her to teach her the importance of these things. but she some how turns it negatively and raises her voice when all i'm trying to do is help her learn from past scenarios. i tell her things like i'm concerned for her safety. she should do everything she can to protect herself. but refuses. i really don't know what else to do.
 
#46 ·
it seems to be the same excuses no matter what i say. she's worse then an TRUE anti gun person. and i try to talk to her in a polite way to try and change her mind. talking to her with respect and not talking down to her to teach her the importance of these things. but she some how turns it negatively and raises her voice when all i'm trying to do is help her learn from past scenarios. i tell her things like i'm concerned for her safety. she should do everything she can to protect herself. but refuses. i really don't know what else to do.
Has she taken any other handgun training other than just what may have been required for her permit? Sometimes it's hard for husbands/wives to take advice from a spouse but someone else (another instructor) might be able to help her out.

Honestly, if I were in your position I would ask her if she was willing to do some outside training and try my hardest to arrange a one-on-one training with an NRA instructor or something similar. I would tell the instructor about her mindset and encounters and ask him or her to be discreet but to address some of those issues in the training and maybe that could get through to her.

I must say that her mindset is rather frightening and while I'm glad she's willing to be armed it's almost like she's using the FACT that she carries as the weapon and thinks that will protect her and not some other common sense actions that have already been mentioned.

i hope you figure this out with her.
 
#47 ·
She's telling you.... she doesn't want to believe it and doesn't want to 'harm' someone .... IMHO.

I hate to say it, but that's often the type of person that their own gun is taken away from them, and then used on them by the BG.

Good Luck. Maybe showing her a lot of stories in the news and show her how frequently things do happen will help.
 
#58 ·
I agree. She does not sound committed at all to using it if necessary. Like Lima said, she seems to think of it as a magic talismen that will protect her just because she has it.

And now she's had positive reinforcement that it will, really. It just did work. "I have a gun"....."oh sorry, nevermind."

I think she'd be better off with OC and/or really intense flashlight to shine in someone's eyes. Just IMO.....it's certainly her right to carry if she chooses.
 
#54 ·
I can't believe those of you who won't let a stranger get closer than 20' without a warning; are now defending a stranger for grabbing a woman's purse.
"All he did was ask what was in the purse."

"He was mentally challenged." or yeah? What if he had a knife, but didn't understand that it was bad to stab someone?
 
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