Shut up and Go word as opposed to safe word?

[Guantes]

Contrary to a "lets go" word, I use "NOW" as an alert word. It is an alert word as it can relate to things other than escape. Essentailly ,iisten/watch for instructions/follow my lead, as it may preceed a counter attack as well as an escape.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[kd5nrh]

We just use anything that's obviously wrong to us, but not to others; "did your dad call?" or "the car payment was late again this month" (Both of our fathers are deceased, and our cars are paid off.) That way, it can be done completely on the fly and worked into any situation. It's handy, since we have an alarm system that I can monitor remotely from work, so I occasionally call when something just doesn't look right, and I can confirm that she's not under duress. Done in person, it means something is very wrong and we need to be on maximum alert, passing situational information as needed and ready to respond without question to any order.

[TedBeau]

Excellent post Janq. However I think I may be slightly more in oakchas's situation with my grown daughters at least. The oldest we call Sarge because she needs to be in charge, the youngest wants a 2 hour (literally) debate on any decisions. I figure she will probably talk the bad guy around in circles to the point he ends up giving her all his money.

I don't know exactly what to expect from the wife. She might be willing to work out a pass pharse, I should talk to her about it.

[TedBeau]

In the same vein, a friend and his wife have a system that if a BG is in the home with them when the other comes home, the recent arrival is called by their middle name. The new arrival knows to make an excuse (forgot the milk) to leave immediately and call the police (he's a police chief, btw)

This is a good idea. They used the same thing on CSI, except they would call the other CSI by their own last name, to make them aware somethings up. In other words, if Smith is in trouble, he tells Jones on the phone, "hello Smith this is Jones calling, can you bring me my cell phone?"
Of course with spouses the middle name make more sense.

[Janq]

I have no doubt Ted that as my own kids age and develop we will wind up modifying our view to be something different/new, be it a phrase or as another described a code word to be applied within a conversation...

For example 'hug' might could mean I need outta here.
My future teen daughter returns home from an outing with some boy; 'Hi dad!...<And she runs to give me a big hug>'

Teens don't give dads hugs so you know something ain't right here.
Take her into the house, and I shut & lock the door behind me. End of boy story.

: p

- Janq

[bladenbullet]

I think most of you with the "Let's go... NOW!" answer are missing the OP's point. There are times when the threat is close and could hear you. Or you don't want to cause a crowd to panic and trample your kids. A code word allows you both to be in code orange/red at the same time while not alerting the BG that you are preparing/making plans to avoid being a victim.


My wife and I use the word "pineapple" as a "this is a real emergeny and I'm not joking" code word. We have never had to use it in real life.

i completely understand this...my only concern being that the receiver of the code word is not aware of the situation in most cases and must be guided...following isnt an option for my family...i guide them and they lead while i stay between them and any threat...a code word is good for a planned situational response...in public where ther eare too many variables those you want to protect need guidance...not game words....

[Macattack]

My wife and i NEVER call each other by name. The last time i said her name was in my wedding vow. Its always honey or sweetie or candypants.(the last one is a joke or should be :) Its our code that if something is wrong in happyland, we will get each others attention by saying the others first name. Something like. "Tracie its time to go!" Wow that feels weird even spelling it!

[oneshot]

In the same vein, a friend and his wife have a system that if a BG is in the home with them when the other comes home, the recent arrival is called by their middle name. The new arrival knows to make an excuse (forgot the milk) to leave immediately and call the police (he's a police chief, btw)

^^^^^I really like this idea!!^^^^^^^^^
Definitly a very good thought to have something of this nature on the playbooks, as well a s the OP's intended idea





You will never begin in the fight you have planned for. You will begin in the fight the other guy has planned for.
Move in a manner that leads him into your fight should he press his attack.
Mathew Courtney

[OldVet]

I have no doubt Ted that as my own kids age and develop we will wind up modifying our view to be something different/new, be it a phrase or as another described a code word to be applied within a conversation...

For example 'hug' might could mean I need outta here.
My future teen daughter returns home from an outing with some boy; 'Hi dad!...<And she runs to give me a big hug>'

Teens don't give dads hugs so you know something ain't right here.
Take her into the house, and I shut & lock the door behind me. End of boy story.

: p

- Janq

My daughter has always given me hugs. The shotgun drives the boys off though.

[cz75luver]

I've actually had to tell my wife that is something like what the OP is describing ever happened, I'd only tell her once that "we need to get out of here", "I'm going <here>", whatever and after that I'm grabbing my daughter and doing as I said. She can either go or stay. Reason is, she won't do anything unless she knows why and has or understands a plan. She'd start giving me, "what do you mean", "why do you want to go over there", "who is holding a gun", etc. Doing chores around the house is a pain sometimes.

[Eagleks]

Unfortunately, I think they are one of those ideas ... that never end up working.

We had "one" , and it was to be alert... someting not good is going on here (as people say... condition orange). When I used it a couple of times... in situations..... they were like "huh, what do you mean.... why are you saying that ? "...... and not registering in their heads what was being said to them at all.

I literally had to tell them.... "I'm not liking what I see over there.. this guy.. that guy... blah blah blah", and then it was like .. "oh, that's why you said that. " .... DUH ! ! ! !

[rhenriksen]

Early on when dating my wife, I saw something hinky developing in a dark parking lot, and tried to get her to hustle and do XYZ. She stopped dead in her tracks, gave me an idiotic expression, and wanted to start a conversation about it. Made me want to kill her myself.

Since then, she, her sister (who now lives with us), and our niece & nephew all have come to understand that if I use The Voice, they are to jump like I've used a cattle prod.

They seem to think that use of The Voice ranks right up there with aggravated assault. I think they might wonder why I bother carrying a pistol since I always have The Voice with me.

[DaveJay]

Wife and I do have a "let's move now, no questions asked" word...she understands the need, and I hope will respond accordingly if I ever use it...

[mech]

I'm usually in very close proximity to my wife and kid when out and about, a simple "move" with a hand in the small of her back, she, holding our son's hand, gets us all moving out of trouble.
We've also got it set up that she'll call me by my shortened name of "Jon" (which she hates) vs. "Jonathan" should she find herself on the phone with me and under duress.

[CherokeeSlim]

we have a very effective sentence that works well..."no questions, just move to .... now!" ...

We lived in the jungle & then Bogota Colombia for 15 years, and have spent almost 15 more years in other Latin countries. "Just do it NOW" is the only thing that ever really worked. We tried code words and they just never seemed to work. My daughters would stop and try to assess the threat that I saw. My wife, God love her, would stop and try to remember if it was a code word or not.

Even in high attack/kidnap situations where we worked for so long, I could never get code words to work. I always knew where we would go when something would happen, so that's where I would direct family & co-workers. We even had a siren system for security. The rule was when the siren sounds you hide under a table (especially in the school) and wait for security to deal with whatever the problem was. But people would go outside, kids would look out the windows, all just trying to see what was going on.

Always know where you can take those you love to protect them. Safe room or whatever. No one will take care of my family like I personally can. That's just the way it is in the real world.

Cherokee Slim