Anyone else ever have a friend escalate a situation while you are armed?

This is a discussion on Anyone else ever have a friend escalate a situation while you are armed? within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by WhoWeBePart1 One thing yall must remember is that he is only in my car once a month . Yes, I will ask ...

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Thread: Anyone else ever have a friend escalate a situation while you are armed?

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoWeBePart1 View Post
    One thing yall must remember is that he is only in my car once a month. Yes, I will ask him to not flip people off if it happens again but he is not someone I go out drinking with or hang out with that often. While I do consider him a friend it is not as if he is my BFF. My interactions with him are very limited.
    I think you're a good person WWBP1, but don't let that be your downfall. You're resigning to put yourself in danger once a month. I agree pretty much with every response here - someone only gets to pull that stuff on me once. I'd sever ties.
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  3. #17
    Ex Member Array Philo Betto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoWeBePart1 View Post

    BTW, I'm not going to stop taking him to the store once a month because he is a bit of a hot head at times. He is a very nice guy most of the time.
    I hate to bypass the story and move right to the part that bugs me, but does your friend have any intentions of working enough that the rest of us don't have to support him? It seems as though you think his food stamps are a permanent thing.

  4. #18
    Ex Member Array WhoWeBePart1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Philo Betto View Post
    I hate to bypass the story and move right to the part that bugs me, but does your friend have any intentions of working enough that the rest of us don't have to support him? It seems as though you think his food stamps are a permanent thing.
    He is on permanent disability so our tax dollars will support him till the day he dies.

  5. #19
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    YMMV and I'd never make a good "councilor."

    However, although not as dramatic as your case, I have distanced myself from friends for similar reasons.
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  6. #20
    Senior Member Array deafdave3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Philo Betto View Post
    I hate to bypass the story and move right to the part that bugs me, but does your friend have any intentions of working enough that the rest of us don't have to support him? It seems as though you think his food stamps are a permanent thing.
    Kind of prejudiced, aren't you? Some people can't work, but still need to eat.
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  7. #21
    Ex Member Array Philo Betto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deafdave3 View Post
    Kind of prejudiced, aren't you? Some people can't work, but still need to eat.
    Granted, and for every one of those for whom that is the case, there are 999 lazy you-know-whats who are gigging the system. I don't know if that is the case with WhoWeBe's friend but an awful lot of people think Fat&Lazy is a disability. And the guy's violent attitude doesn't win him the benefit of the doubt with me. And frankly, I'm tired of supporting fat&lazy.

    And while I'm up here on my soapbox, I assume the guy's family is not able to help him with food? Whatever happened to that being the way it's done? When did it become ok to confiscate from everyone? You choose your charities and let me choose mine.

  8. #22
    Ex Member Array WhoWeBePart1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Philo Betto View Post
    Granted, and for every one of those for whom that is the case, there are 999 lazy you-know-whats who are gigging the system. I don't know if that is the case with WhoWeBe's friend but an awful lot of people think Fat&Lazy is a disability. And the guy's violent attitude doesn't win him the benefit of the doubt with me. And frankly, I'm tired of supporting fat&lazy.

    And while I'm up here on my soapbox, I assume the guy's family is not able to help him with food? Whatever happened to that being the way it's done? When did it become ok to confiscate from everyone? You choose your charities and let me choose mine.
    No, his family is not able to help him with food. He has very little family other than his own son who is only 13 years old. His mother and father who are no longer alive where very abusive. He has told me stories of his childhood that I don't wish upon any child. He does take medication for some mental issues and maybe he was off them the other day. He is a simple man who just gets by with very little. I have the ability to help him out once a month and this is the first time I've ever had a negative encounter while I was around him.

  9. #23
    Ex Member Array Philo Betto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoWeBePart1 View Post
    No, his family is not able to help him with food. He has very little family other than his own son who is only 13 years old. His mother and father who are no longer alive where very abusive. He has told me stories of his childhood that I don't wish upon any child. He does take medication for some mental issues and maybe he was off them the other day. He is a simple man who just gets by with very little. I have the ability to help him out once a month and this is the first time I've ever had a negative encounter while I was around him.
    My apologies. The vast majority of people abusing the system has made my cynical.

  10. #24
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    well, seems like ur doing a good thing for your friend. once a month isnt bad, 12 days out of 365 days? very little. and that very little goes along way for him, so i would keep up the good work.

    as u said just tell him not to start trouble. but of course there is no guarantee to that either.

    I was just thinking the same thing, when a couple of yrs ago, my uncle was being tail gated on the hwy, with me and my cousin. and he slowed down his car and gave them the stare, and i was wondering what would have happend if i was forced in to a situation like that...i was carrying at that time lol

    stay safe

  11. #25
    Senior Member Array Adkjoe's Avatar
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    Yep everyone has or had a friend like that. In my case it's "had" a friend.
    Vermont does not issue Permit/Licenses to Carry a Concealed firearm. Vermont allows anyone
    who can legally own a firearm to carry it concealed without a permit of any kind.

  12. #26
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    Yes, I have lots of friends like this, unfortunately. I have found the best solution is to tell them to calm down because you don't feel like being hassled, getting into it with the police, etc. Try to make them feel like they are being a serious and unwarranted inconvenience on you whenever they play the "let it be known that I don't back down from anyone!" card.

    If they know you are armed, as is the case with most of my friends, I simply tell them the realities of the law. I tell them the handgun is a defensive weapon only, and I don't want to end up in a shootout, or a suspect in a homicide investigation, just because they wanted to let someone know that they don't back down. Some of them go for this. Some of them tell me I'm a woman, or some other term to demasculate me.

    We both already know that all the people telling you to "get new friends" are missing the shades of gray inherent in the world, and that just because a lot of people are colorful characters, prone to stupid things, etc., doesn't mean they are categorically bad people to be avoided. Keep taking your friend to the store, I would imagine that gesture means the world to him. However, let him know that you guys need to stay out of trouble, and try to play it off like it is silly to even care about someone giving you the finger. Serious physical threats are the only ones worth responding to, not perceived threats to our ego.

  13. #27
    VIP Member Array Guantes's Avatar
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    My car, my rules. You don't follow the rules, you don't ride in the car.

  14. #28
    Senior Member Array Sig35seven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deafdave3 View Post
    Kind of prejudiced, aren't you? Some people can't work, but still need to eat.
    If he is physically capable of participating in a fist fight then he can do work. I know plenty of people collecting disability that are perfectly capable of working. They just like the extra income and a free ride.

    For example, last week I met a fireman who had a knee operation and received full disability. I met him on the golf course and he didn't even have a limp. He could play golf quite well and admitted to me,with a smile, he had no pain either.
    "Confidence is food for the wise man but liquor for the fool"

  15. #29
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    Find another friend--he is not.

  16. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.stuart View Post
    Since you are going to continue to help him,this is what I would do if I had a friend like this.I would simply tell him,do not start any trouble in any way with anyone.No road rage,or flipping people off,or starting fights.I would add,when you are with me,you will have to be cool.I would not explain why,if a friend wants my time and rides in my car,he will respect that or we say goodbye.
    This is exactly what I did when I had an ex-con living and working with me. I simply told him that I would NOT put up with anything PERIOD! I told him I really liked him and wanted to help him. But, if he caused me ANY trouble whatsoever I would do my best to put back behind bars.

    I've done this two times in the last 15yrs. Both, of these men where the best workers I've ever worked with. I also count them among the best friends I've had.

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