This is a discussion on Anyone else ever have a friend escalate a situation while you are armed? within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by mr.stuart Since you are going to continue to help him,this is what I would do if I had a friend like this.I ...
This friendship would rapidly become a conditional one, I'll help you on the condition of good behavior. I like some others have said, tend to distance myself from those that seem to seek out or have trouble seek out them.
Glock Certified Armorer
I can only see one way to be sure you're not coaxed or dragged into a situation that might require the use of your firearm. Either leave the friend at home, or your weapon. The two don't seem to mix well together.
I have a female friend who is attractive enough to result in similar end results. I'm always amazed at how many guys are willing to force a confrontation with me and/or her in social situations. Both of us carry, and because of her circumstances, we make a conscious effort to minimize risk when going to public places together.
I suggest you do the same with your friend, albeit for different reasons.
I had a friend who outted me as a cop a few times. In the casino, or just hanging out at a bar, "Oh yeah well he's (points at me) a cop!" He also tended to talk very loudly, and rudely in public places. Unfortunatly our differences couldn't be worked out and I had to tell him to stop coming around.
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state". Love your country, but never trust its government.
-- Robert A. Heinlein.
Doesn't fit the scenario exactly because this clown wasn't a 'friend' but he was living in the same apartment I was staying while in grad-school (I was only about 25 at the time). This was on Rt 46 in NJ (where I was born and lived for about 40 yrs), a 4 lane hwy with a pick-up truck next to us had a guy and girl in the bed of the truck. When they kissed, I gave them the thumbs up and a grin and they smiled back. About a half mile up the road they are next to us again and this idiot roomate of mine yells out, "Nail her... I did!".
Of course that didn't go over too well.
The driver heard too and the couple is yelling at me, threatening me, etc. I pulled over and they did too. I said hey man, I aplogize but that wasn't me. There's the a**h*** who said it and pointed out the guy for them. They said something about hanging out with better friends and sped off.
He was no friend of mine and I sure wasn't going to take the heat for his dumb behavior. I really didn't know him too well because he was invited to stay with us by a third roomate who was in his class. I moved out shortly thereafter and learned the same guy accidentally drove his Suburban into a school-bus.
Carry on ;-)
I applaud you for wanting to help your friend, but I also understand your trepidation. I assume that since this particular situation had not arisen before, you have not discussed with your friend what is and what is not acceptable behavior when he is with you (not that you should have to, but apparently you need to). If I were faced with this scenario, I would pull him aside and say "look, what happened today is never going to happen again, otherwise our friendship will come to an abrupt and complete end," and make it abundantly clear that he is to act responsibly when you are together. After all, his actions in your vehicle place you and your family in danger, since the "offended person" isn't necessarily going to remember the guy flipping him off, but he is going to remember the make, model, and tag number of your car.
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, and your butt is walking to the grocery store from now on...
"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day... Teach a man to fish and he'll spend all his time in the basement tying flies and neglecting his personal hygiene." -- Jimmy James
"Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!" -- Admiral James T. Kirk
I know this situation. My best friend is bi-polar, manic depressive, and has anxiety disorders as well. He is on medication and disability for his tragic ailments. We have been friends since the 7th grade.
More than once he has flown off the handle at light speed and I have had to intervene and get him away from injuring and or killing someone who probably deserved it but that's another story.
He doesn't know that I carry, even though he knows that I have a carry permit. He never asks, I never tell. I have lately however been staying a bit distant from him because he is getting really into wild conspiracy stuff and half of what he says, I cannot believe. Gives me some bad vibes to say the least. I see him at the YMCA a couple days a week when we have a work out and that's just about it.
I think it would be best if you did just that, put some distance between you and your "friend". Keep him as one, but until there can be a resolution to the matter, or he learns some anger management, it may be in your best interest to be a distant acquaintence.
"A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"
The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green
I'd simply tell him that if he wants a ride to the store (or anywhere else) and thinks he needs to pull that crap, he can do it after I leave or call a cab. Now he has to make a life-changing choice: you or Yellow Cab Company.
Retired USAF E-8. Lighten up and enjoy life because:
Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield
I would lay down the law to your friend. You don't need him to fight your battles or create battles that don't exist yet. If he wants to continue getting a ride he needs to practice a little anger management. Problems are not resolved by him getting you into a fight.
DEMOCRACY IS TWO WOLVES AND A LAMB VOTING ON WHAT TO HAVE FOR LUNCH. LIBERTY IS A WELL ARMED LAMB CONtestING THE VOTE.
Certified Instructor for Minnesota Carry Permit
NRA Pistol and Personal Protection Insrtuctor
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