Anyone else ever have a friend escalate a situation while you are armed?

Anyone else ever have a friend escalate a situation while you are armed?

This is a discussion on Anyone else ever have a friend escalate a situation while you are armed? within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; A tad long... Here is what happened. I drive a friend once a month to Walmart so he can do his food shopping. He receives ...

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Thread: Anyone else ever have a friend escalate a situation while you are armed?

  1. #1
    Ex Member Array WhoWeBePart1's Avatar
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    Post Anyone else ever have a friend escalate a situation while you are armed?

    A tad long...

    Here is what happened. I drive a friend once a month to Walmart so he can do his food shopping. He receives food stamps and does not have a car. Just to give you a little insight about this guy. He is in his mid 50's has spent time in jail for various things but that was back in his younger days. He is still a pretty ruff looking guy that most would want to avoid if you did not know him.

    He does not know that I carry. He doesn't need to know either but tonight on the way home while driving down a residential street a car started to back out onto the road on the passenger side. Well I stopped, let the car back up but then the car pulled to the shoulder so I figured they where parking. They made no intention of pulling into traffic, no turn indictor so I proceeded to go pass them.

    Well according to my friend the driver flipped me off. I didn't see it but my friend flipped him the bird right back and one of his first verbal reactions was to me. Let that blank, blank, blank follow us home. I'll knock his blank teeth in.

    Well knowing this man for a few years now I knew he was not joking. He would not back down and would gladly throw the first punch. Well the car did start to follow and I was not far from the house but they changed their mine and turned around.

    A lot flooded into my brain at once. My friend doesn't know I'm armed and I'm not going to get into a fight with these idiots over someone flipping me the bird that I didn't even respond to but my friend did.

    If they had followed I would have just kept driving past the house and if they continued to follow for a minute or two after I would have dialed 911 to report them.

    So has anyone else had a friend do something such as this when you are armed and they didn't know you where and it now sticks you in an awkward position.

    BTW, I'm not going to stop taking him to the store once a month because he is a bit of a hot head at times. He is a very nice guy most of the time.


  2. #2
    Member Array chivvalry's Avatar
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    Doesnt everyone have at least one of "those" friends? It's so much better to pretend not to see or hear petty insults from idiots. Some people learn that early... some late... some never.
    "I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
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    Distinguished Member Array mr.stuart's Avatar
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    Since you are going to continue to help him,this is what I would do if I had a friend like this.I would simply tell him,do not start any trouble in any way with anyone.No road rage,or flipping people off,or starting fights.I would add,when you are with me,you will have to be cool.I would not explain why,if a friend wants my time and rides in my car,he will respect that or we say goodbye.

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    I've been lucky in avoiding that sort of thing. Haven't had an unthinking, chest-pounder for a friend, yet.

    If he's worth "saving," I would certainly have a sit-down with him about what's kosher and not regarding his behavior. Doing stuff like that when you're twelve might be understandable (if not condoned), but as an adult it can get you buggered, both physically and legally. As well, as you know, that sort of crap can be considered escalation, if it later turns out any defensive steps are taken. THAT is the sort of thing that can ruin a person financially (or worse), defending against such charges of stopping people cold in a situation where it turns out that y'all were the instigators. Bad juju, and something that your Mr. Hothead friend needs to come to grips with.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
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  5. #5
    VIP Member Array MitchellCT's Avatar
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    No.

    I leave people like that to their own devices, and people I call friends are those who either won't escalate a situation needlessly, or are people who I'd cover as they lit the place (and everyone in it) on fire.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array Tala's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MitchellCT View Post
    No.

    I leave people like that to their own devices, and people I call friends are those who either won't escalate a situation needlessly, or are people who I'd cover as they lit the place (and everyone in it) on fire.
    Pretty much that.
    If your friend intends to knock teeth out, I assume he expects you to stay there and back him up for a fight??? SO not happening. And if you didn't want to back him up he'd say you weren't really his friend. Well if that's how it works, then adios!

    I'm rather picky about my friends.
    I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them. -- John Wayne as John B. Books in "The Shootist"

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Yes. A buddy of mine I grew up with has always been like a banty rooster. He's a little wormy fella with a big mouth and I'm a pretty good size guy. I ended up in a lot of fights when I was younger because of his yap. Now as adults, the rare instances I am around him back home and we go somewhere, if he even thinks of saying or doing something like that I tell him he won't have to worry about them kicking his butt, I'll do it myself (and if the other guys want to do it, I'll help them). He says I'm no fun anymore...I tell him that's no longer my idea of fun...I grew up.
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    Ex Member Array BikerRN's Avatar
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    I'm selective with whom I hang around.

    I did have someone start some crap once with another person. I just told them to have fun because any problems they created, they were going to have to solve on their own.

    Biker

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    Member Array hickatheart's Avatar
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    The rule of stupids comes to mind. For my own protection I follow it, as do those I hang with. If they don't, we don't hang. Someone like that cannot come between me and my obligations or responsibilities. I agree with the idea of a sit down, in a kind manner, with an agreement about stupidity.
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  10. #10
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    That man is a deadly accident looking for a place to happen...and he WILL find that place.
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  11. #11
    Member Array carguy2244's Avatar
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    I have a friend who's like a brother to me. When we'd go out for a beer, he'd drink 20. Liquid courage made him a very tough guy, or at least he thought so. I had to get between him and someone else on more than one occasion. At no point did it seem like my gun needed to be drawn, but it was stressful nonetheless, as you can't forecast the other person's mindset.
    Now we only hang out at his house or mine, or do things where multiple beers aren't likely. Having a friend that likes to start fights sucks.

  12. #12
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    IMO you need to have a very serious chat with your friend.
    "The Second Amendment: America's Original Homeland Security"

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array packinnova's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chivvalry View Post
    Doesnt everyone have at least one of "those" friends? It's so much better to pretend not to see or hear petty insults from idiots. Some people learn that early... some late... some never.
    NO! Some of us choose to dole out the friend word very carefully. I don't have ANY friends that would act in such a manner. I have had such in the past and I let them go their separate ways. Why? Because I don't need the extra trouble.

    My advice to the OP and anyone else in a similar situation for that matter, would be to have a sit down/come to jesus meeting with the "friend" and explain the facts of life. No mention of firearms or anything of such nature is necessary, but this friend clearly has issues and perhaps just needs someone else he trusts to point out the obvious.

    If however he doesn't "get it" and begin to change said behavior after such talk...WALK AWAY.
    "My God David, We're a Civilized society."

    "Sure, As long as the machines are workin' and you can call 911. But you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, and you scare the crap out of them; no more rules...You'll see how primitive they can get."
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  14. #14
    Ex Member Array WhoWeBePart1's Avatar
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    One thing yall must remember is that he is only in my car once a month. Yes, I will ask him to not flip people off if it happens again but he is not someone I go out drinking with or hang out with that often. While I do consider him a friend it is not as if he is my BFF. My interactions with him are very limited.

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    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhoWeBePart1 View Post
    ...Well knowing this man for a few years now I knew he was not joking. He would not back down and would gladly throw the first punch. Well the car did start to follow and I was not far from the house but they changed their mine and turned around.
    <break>
    BTW, I'm not going to stop taking him to the store once a month because he is a bit of a hot head at times. He is a very nice guy most of the time.
    Well, if you're going to hang around a hot head, there not much for me to suggest.

    It is just a matter of time before he drags you into a situation you could have avoided by staying away from him....he's a big boy, he can find his own way to the store (like a taxi?)
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