10 PM with wife walking to car in street or parking lot from restaurant

10 PM with wife walking to car in street or parking lot from restaurant

This is a discussion on 10 PM with wife walking to car in street or parking lot from restaurant within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; First off, I apologize if I am rehashing an old story or thread. If there is a scenario that always bothers me in my thinking ...

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Thread: 10 PM with wife walking to car in street or parking lot from restaurant

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array kelcarry's Avatar
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    10 PM with wife walking to car in street or parking lot from restaurant

    First off, I apologize if I am rehashing an old story or thread. If there is a scenario that always bothers me in my thinking it is the title of this thread. My ability to avoid a problem is more difficult with my wife on my arm and I tend to feel more vulnerable on my alternatives if, as we walk to car, one or several mean-minded morons decide they want to harass us or, worse, rob us. We can turn away or try crossing the street --anything to avoid them-- but it just is not as easy with your wife in tow. For those of you who may have studied defensive tactics when CCW-ready, appreciate you laying out your considered tactics and at what point does the CCW come into play assuming these morons have rough tactics or worse in mind based on my intelligent/learned instincts.


  2. #2
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    Can you be a bit more specific?
    There are a whole lot of variables and tangents that such a storyline could go...bottom line is Stay armed...stay alert...stay safe!

    Parking lots at night require your head to be on a constant swivel...wife on weak side arm. Walk away from perceived trouble, not into it because you're armed.OMO
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    Member Array carguy2244's Avatar
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    First thing that comes to mind: Your wife should be armed and trained in self defense. What does she do in the same scenario, but she's alone?

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    Member Array loboleather's Avatar
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    Predators of normal mental function seek out the stragglers and the weakest. Unfortunately, the human predators that we encounter in our communities are frequently addled by drugs or otherwise unable to select victims wisely.

    Behaving in an alert and confident manner will cause most would-be assailants to think twice about attacking. Situational awareness is essential, being aware of everyone and everything around you can make a difference in avoiding an attack or dealing effectively with one. Streets and parking lots frequently have lighting and parked cars so staying in better light and close to vehicles that can be used as cover or barriers can be a good idea.

    Another thought is to have your wife wait at the entrance of the restaurant while you retrieve your car and pick her up. This not only provides better protection for her, but allows you to do the necessary for your own safety without having to worry about her during a confrontation.
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  5. #5
    Distinguished Member Array kelcarry's Avatar
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    Appreciate your replies. Hey retsupt99: You ask for specifics. My "what if" would be the following: My wife and I have entered a parking lot or a parking garage where my car is parked and as we head toward our car (I do consider myself extremely aware of my surroundings at ALL times) there are 2 guys standing in the somewhat darkness in front of us. My wife and I decide to turn around and walk out into a less isolated area (the street or closer to the garage attendant) but the 2 guys yell out to us and begin to come closer--it is evident they do not have good intentions. Somewhere in this situation it is obvious, if we have not gotten to a point where other people are around, that it is up to me to do something. I now turn around----AND---(kindly fill in the rest of the story based on your 5 Star VIP status on this forum).
    Hey:carguy2244: My wife will not submit to any kind of self-defense training and will never carry a firearm. I have gotten her a pepper spray and recently got her a stun gun (she works sometimes in an art gallery and when it closes will be walking to her car at dusk or at night). My scenario for this thread would be that she is more of a "problem" for me than if I were alone although if she has her stun gun, it can't hurt.

  6. #6
    Distinguished Member Array kelcarry's Avatar
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    hey lobleather: Everything you said is spot on and exactly what I would do. I am thinking more along the lines of a "what if" where I have placed myself and my wife in a situation that is somewhat contrary to everything I just agreed with you on. Please read my reply to retsupt99 for the potential "what if". I value retsupt99's replies which I hope will confirm my belief that I would be presenting my firearm when these potential perps are within about 20 ft of me as I yell as loud as I can that I want them to just turn around and leave my wife and I alone and I will use the firearm if they come any closer and have made no effort to explain their actions which, I assume, are to harm my wife and I.

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    VIP Member Array Guantes's Avatar
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    Kelcarry,
    Some parts of the answers to your questions are relatively easy, others more difficult and vague.

    To begin with my wife is like yours and has no interest or the metal for her own SD. I have no interest in responses about changing that.

    In the types of situations you describe we do not hold hands, etc or do anything that might compromise my ability to respond to any situation.
    I carry a high power flashlight for illuminating and momentary blinding of aggressors in times of darkness, should the need arise.

    Many years of experience dealing with the criminal element has enabled me to make my feelings and intentions very clear to them in verbal and body communications. The lack of that experience would obviously be a hinderance in that area. I have no answer for you in that.

    Confidence in ones ability to articulate the need for particular actions is a great comfort and asset relative to these kinds of situations. I would cultivate that ability.

    Determining when to respond and at what level is a decision that must be made by the one involved. Training, experience and interaction with those like minded can help but remains with the individudal.

  8. #8
    Ex Member Array Philo Betto's Avatar
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    Wives tend to change their mind about carrying a gun after they have a bad experience that hits close to home. I'd strategically find a way to have her exposed to the tale of a woman who was attacked so she can see that the discomfort she initially feels from carrying a gun is far preferrable to the feeling of getting raped and/or killed. That's where I'd spend my efforts rather than devising strategies to protect someone who won't do it for themselves.

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array zacii's Avatar
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    If she won't carry a gun, then you carry another. If a situation presents itself, she'll be wanting it
    Trust in God and keep your powder dry

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    VIP Member Array shockwave's Avatar
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    Fait accompli statements like, "the wife will not take self-defense classes" are the end of the road right there. Your partner needs to be an asset in your SD strategy, not a liability. If she will carry CS, then discuss how she'll move to the side and spray while you draw and shoot. Discuss how she'll move behind you as you cover and lay down fire. It has to be a team effort. Your partner either helps or hinders you.

    Watch the movie Irreversible together. If that doesn't get a woman interested in taking Krav Maga, I don't know what will.
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    As Guantes noted, you should never be without a good, high powered flash light. Lighting up a perp and blinding him provides time for you to put distance between you and him. This is, of course, not fool proof, the perp could just decide to shoot at the light or in your general direction, but in such a situation where I felt I had to light somebody up, I would simultaneously put a hand on the gun butt to facilitate a quick draw. Best case is not to get into these situation to begin with, I realize that this is easier said than done in the big city.
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    VIP Member Array Guantes's Avatar
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    For those that disdain the spouse/SO that does not wish active participation in SD, that is certainly their right. Personally I see the intentional exposure of them to violent distrubing media as more likely to injure the relationship then to impart a desire for SD efforts.

    The core of our relationship is not based on SD and I feel lucky that it is based on a much broader spectrum. I would certainly not be opposed to her increased interest in SD, but I also will not injure that relationship to force that interest upon her.

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guantes View Post
    For those that disdain the spouse/SO that does not wish active participation in SD, that is certainly their right. Personally I see the intentional exposure of them to violent distrubing media as more likely to injure the relationship then to impart a desire for SD efforts.

    The core of our relationship is not based on SD and I feel lucky that it is based on a much broader spectrum. I would certainly not be opposed to her increased interest in SD, but I also will not injure that relationship to force that interest upon her.
    Me too! It was interesting, last night/this early a.m. when the spouse said "Take the gun with you..." when the furry alarm went off...
    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

  14. #14
    Member Array msb45's Avatar
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    Keep you wife to your off side. Get in the habit of not carrying things in your gun hand. You never know when it could go bad, build good habits and keep up SA the best you can.

  15. #15
    Distinguished Member Array kelcarry's Avatar
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    From replies so far, it is a definite that I leave my wife at the restaurant and go get the car by myself. There is no way she will be a party to any defensive action and when she is alone, the stun gun I gave her and instructed her on will have to protect her. She tends to be careful and alert but you never know. For the most part, her walking alone is fairly limited to some degree of daylight and not the 10PM night sort of walks to a car, although you never know. As far as I am concerned, as I said in my comments, I am more than willing to present my firearm in a situation where I am alone and am looking at someone who is maybe 20 ft from me and everything tells me he is up to no good as I look at him, with no one around, and make an effort to avoid him, which is not working, as I am walking to my car at 10PM. I am yelling for anyone to hear (witnesses) and telling him that I want no trouble and hope he feels the same way. Several steps closer and it is "Miller Time". Just lookin for comments. My opinion is that at least in South Carolina my actions are defensible and correct.

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