Aging parents, neighborhood gone down hill

This is a discussion on Aging parents, neighborhood gone down hill within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; There is only so much you can do as some elderly folks still think they live back in the 30s or 50s. All you can ...

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Thread: Aging parents, neighborhood gone down hill

  1. #16
    Distinguished Member Array Jason Storm's Avatar
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    There is only so much you can do as some elderly folks still think they live back in the 30s or 50s. All you can do is remind them. I talk to my folks too and they live in a very quiet area and no one there is suspicious as neighbors watch for each other. But I still keep my guard up and look at the area's vulnerabilities. It may be nice now. But what about a few years later? You know what I mean? They still have a home alarm system from ADT and I even bought door bar/jamb for the front and rear door of their house. I even bought 2 large canisters, not the ones for bears=lol, of OC for them to have in their bedroom. I have 4 guns and I usually leave my 2 long guns in their home, locked up in a steel cabinet in the guest bedroom that I sleep in when I visit (they have the spare key for it too), for them to use in my absence [when I took both of them for an annual range refresher (it's like pulling teeth to get my mom there), my dad loves both the 12 ga. and AR, but my mom likes the AR much better and hates the 12 ga.=lol/my dad goes out to shoot with me more than once too] until the day I get married and have my own home and family. My 2 handguns, I have at my own residence and take with me when I visit. The 2 long guns I leave with them are just extra firepower for me to have to augment my 2 handguns. As for my parents owning handguns, no way, in their opinion. And, although they respect my position on guns, they just are not too much the gun types. And they are contented w/ the long guns that I leave with them at home.

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  3. #17
    Distinguished Member Array Spec's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fastk9dad View Post
    I am lucky that my parents understand and support my owning and carrying wherever I can. Even my mom who lives in a quiet, safe neighborhood will be the first to tell you the bad guys aren't going to rob the poor homes and it can happen anywhere at anytime. While she doesn't have a firearm she is pretty diligent with home security and listens to any advice I can give.
    This is my mom to a 'T' and has some experience with firearms, yet hasn't gone to take her CPL class... I should have had her go when my father took it. She is considering getting hers, I think it is a matter of time. Yet every once in a while when my dad talks to her about it she says "I've lived 48 years with out a gun, i don't need one"
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  4. #18
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    Your description of "that" generation is not all uncommon. It is a sad commentary that our society has dwindled down to what you describe.

    Like you, my parents still live in the same house and neighborhood, 54 years and counting. We used to know everyone, left our doors open and nobody ever bothered us or the house. That has changed.

    Neighborhoods go into transition from good to bad all too often and they can be downright dangerous. My parents 'hood isn't all that bad, however, there are the one's around I would not trust. They do at least acknowledge that fact, a bit.

    My parents are definitely not "anti", dad is avid hunter and gun owner and my mom doesn't care if we all have guns. I just don't think she could use one if indeed the situation presented itself so, yes, I feel your pain as well. There just is no easy answer to living in oblivion but hopefully your parents may see the "light" someday.
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  5. #19
    Senior Member Array DUNDEM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GM View Post
    I understand exactly how you feel; I have been/still am there . Unfortunately there is not much I can do about it; they just believe what they want to believe.
    Agreed.

  6. #20
    New Member Array sheriff54's Avatar
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    I just wanted to chime in with a thought from both ends... a while back, maybe 35 years ago, I was working in my mothers front yard. I had a fella run up the street and shortly after, there was a police officer running and yelling, stop or I'll shoot. He had a BIG nickel plated revolver. Next, I have a talk with my mother. I tell here, you need to move. With in a year, she had the house sold and we were moving her to a smaller town. Flash forward the last 35 years, She lived across the street from me the last 15 years, safely. I buried her last Dec. She was not physically able to defend herself the last 10 years and mentally, not the last 5 - 6 years. Now, I'm just passed the mid 50's so I'm fast heading to the geezer age, some think I'm there now?? I cannot run, my hands don't do as well as they did, my hearing and sight are not where they were. I am not going to lay down and die till it's my time. So... I carry what I can handle. I will use what I need when it's called for and I will adapt when I step into my next level of capability. spray, knife, firearm, flame thrower... Yeah, I still tease with some stuf. Enjoy your life, your family, your kids. All is over too fast.

  7. #21
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    My father and I had the same type "discussion" after why I bought a Glock to carry. He would not accept that the real world today is not the world of his youthful days, that kids these days don't duke it out to settle a beef, they pull firearms and shoot--no questions asked.

    I had to take him on a tour of the area where we formerly lived to show him how rundown it had become, boarded-up homes to keep the crack addicts out and stripped cars all over the place. Wonderful place, Charlotte, NC, the "Queen" city. Yeah, right.
    Retired USAF E-8. Avatar is OldVet from days long gone. Oh, to be young again.
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  8. #22
    Senior Member Array Phillep Harding's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fastk9dad View Post
    Even my mom who lives in a quiet, safe neighborhood will be the first to tell you the bad guys aren't going to rob the poor homes
    Slums have high crime rates, and it's not because there are so few "poor homes" in the slums.

  9. #23
    VIP Member Array mlr1m's Avatar
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    Even my mom who lives in a quiet, safe neighborhood will be the first to tell you the bad guys aren't going to rob the poor homes
    Sometimes mom's just say things because they don't want you to worry about them. Last time I was at my mom's house I noticed that my fathers old nightstick was next to the front door. He had been a police officer before he passed away. She knows but won't say anything. Shes a typical mom that doesn't want to worry her late 50's / early 60's babies.

    Michael

  10. #24
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Most BGs commit crimes of opportunity. They're there, x is there, it's a combo of wrong place at wrong time for the victim. Crime happens in poor neighborhoods because many times they are convenient because that's where the BGs happen to frequent. Sometimes they may have reason to be in a nicer area and again it is a combo of place and time with opportunity being the catalyst. Some of the slightly higher end BGs will target homes or people based on perceived potential score and relative ease of it (expensive lawnmower outside, predictible patterns of coming and going, isolated location). Much higher end BGs are looking for much larger opportunities in terms of $$ than burglary or theft of an individual or home. They're targets are large take opportunities and may be more brazen or may be covert (commercial theft of inventory on truck, jewelry store, gun store, bank, etc.). Unfortunately, we all may be in the wrong place at the wrong time and be in the path of BG regardless of community, job, etc.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
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    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  11. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillep Harding View Post
    Slums have high crime rates, and it's not because there are so few "poor homes" in the slums.
    Well obviously, but you get the point. It just doesn't happen there, it can happen anywhere.

  12. #26
    VIP Member Array TedBeau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    I get frustrated with my parents. They are in their mid 70s and they're really good Christian people who help others, but they are too trusting and somewhat naive to what some people are capable of. They're not anti and they know I carry (my Dad has always had guns and still does, but doesn't carry anymore and doesn't keep one handy at home anymore either).

    We visited our families in NC this weekend and I took my 2 year old son to my parents for several hours to visit. I was going to take a quick nap and I noticed my Mom took my son outside to the swingset in their side yard (it was a very nice day out and he loves to be outside). I went out there and had my full size 1911 on my hip OWB. It had been concealed, but when I removed my outer shirt (warm in the sun) it was exposed OC (legal).

    My Mom said, "I thought you were going to take a nap?" and I replied, "I decided to come out with yall." She said, "Why, and why did you bring that?" I replied (calmly and respectfully), "I'm always armed, and besides, as I pulled in your driveway I saw the homeless alcoholic guy that lives in a tent in the woods behind your house walk up your alcoholic drug addict and dealer next door neighbor's driveway and stagger down the street. The same neighbor I witnessed beat a man nearly to death with his walking stick one night in his yard at 1:00 am and then a month later killed his own brother doing the same thing. The same one that broke into Dad's truck one night in your driveway. Since I've been standing here I've since seen another person of questionable appearance duck into the woods behind the house next door on the other side and you told me 10 minutes ago that the house full of questionable neighbors two houses down now have 2 pitbulls and they got loose the day before yesterday. And don't get me started on 'Crazy Brenda' 3 houses down who set her own mother's house on fire with her in it." Needless to say, she was looking at me like I had 3 heads by this time. I then went on to say, "This isn't the same neighborhood as it was when I grew up here. It used to be families that built these houses in the 30s and 40s living here. Now it's a bunch of alcoholics and druggies and you don't know what these people are capable of doing. I do, and yall might choose to continue to live here and take those chances, but I'm not letting my son out of my sight while I'm here."

    And they get mad and wonder why we don't stay at their house nearly as often as we do my in-laws. It has nothing to do with them...it's what's going on in the neighborhood. I've begged my Dad to keep his .44 Magnum loaded and handy and to get his permit and carry his .32 revolver. He refuses. He thinks these people are harmless. I just can't seem to get through to them that addicts get jacked up and will do anything.

    Sorry for the long rant...thank you for letting me vent.
    WOW is all I can say

  13. #27
    Ex Member Array MadMac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillep Harding View Post
    Slums have high crime rates, and it's not because there are so few "poor homes" in the slums.
    So true. Nice neighborhoods are nice neighborhoods because there is low crime. Bad neighborhoods are bad neighborhoods because they have lots of crime. As BugDude says, most crimes like this are crimes of opportunity. Your average lowlife miscreant stands out like a turd in a punchbowl in a nice neighborhood and is quickly escorted back to their side of town. Lowlifes prey on each other.

    Sure crime can (and do) happen in "nice" neighborhoods, but your odds are much, much better for a crime-free life in a "nice" neighborhood. You're many times more likely to be robbed, mugged, or assaulted in neighborhoods and areas where these types congregate.

    fastk9dad: Your mom's wrong. Look at the crime statistics for your area.

  14. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadMac View Post
    fastk9dad: Your mom's wrong. Look at the crime statistics for your area.
    *sigh*

    I'm not going to argue over semantics. I realize what I wrote was poorly phrased but you all take things way to literally.

  15. #29
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TedBeau View Post
    WOW is all I can say
    I was somewhat overwhelmed. I watched the neighborhood dwindle down hill slowly as the people that built these houses died and the houses were sold. It happens slowly, kind of like a frog in a pot of water with the heat being turned up slowly. Then one day you're standing there and inside of a few minutes and it all kind of hits you. That happens when you're not there seeing it every day.

    When you type it all out and kind of step back and read it all, it's "WOW." My parents deserve better than this. It's a shame.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  16. #30
    Member Array Bear67's Avatar
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    I too have worried about my widowed 87 year old mother living alone. Her house was on a narrow rural state highway when we grew up there and played all over that end of the county. Now it is on a 6 lane highway with a head shop and a bar across the road. Dad kept guns and hunted all my life, but when he died 14 years ago, Mother refused to talk about moving or home defense. She said she had lived there for X years and could take care of herself and felt safe.
    Then, the SO called me last year from her house and suggested I get over there--but that Mom was fine. It seems that she heard a noise around 3 am and grabbed Dad's 12 ga 870 and went out the back door. She encountered a totally "neckid" illegial alien on her unattached car port. He spoke no english and she spoke no mexican, but he sure understood Remington. She held the gun on him, called 911 and waited for their response. The responding officers (9 or 8 deputies) could not believe how cool and collected she was. She told them to get the "trash" off of her property and go back to work. That included me as she wanted to go back to bed.

    I am still concerned about her safety, but just say Yes Mam and pray her health continues to let her maintain her independence.

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