Concealed carry at home

This is a discussion on Concealed carry at home within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Tough one... I"m more hard headed, so .... if he demanded it and had a nasty attitude ... I'ld probably show him the door. If ...

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  1. #31
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    Tough one... I"m more hard headed, so .... if he demanded it and had a nasty attitude ... I'ld probably show him the door.

    If it were a request, then we'ld "discuss" it.

    Typically, if it's someone who doesn't know me WELL.... I'ld be concealed. My immediately family, are used to it. In fact, it was interesting the first time I opened carried and my daughter stopped by, she asked "why are you wearing your gun ? " . I told her, I always have had it on, you just didn't know it..... her response was, "oh.... I knew you had it at work but thought you took it off when you got home".

    My mother called once and she hated handguns.... she asked if I could come "over right now" , and I said "sure". She then asked, "do you have your gun? " , and I told her I did ... and waited for the ... can you leave it in the car number. Instead , I got a response that made me drive much quicker to her house.... "she siad GOOD ... make sure you have it when you come".
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  3. #32
    Member Array stargzer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IWLAFART View Post
    Looks like this is going to be a rocky marriage and ill will within the family. Family conference is called for and get this issue settled. If not it is only going to fester.
    Thanks for all the comments. Actually, my wife is for guns and she and I both have concealed carry permits. I carry but she does not.. My step son actually owns an SW Sigma in 40, but of course keeps it locked up "tighter than Fort Knox". I think it is mainly his wife, from Germany who is against guns. I have dicussed the issue of guns in our home with her granchildren and my weapons are put up out of reach whenever they are with us. It just surprised me when my SIL demanded I remove my gun and put it up.
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  4. #33
    Member Array stargzer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by limatunes View Post
    I'm all for "my house, my rules" but that doesn't mean one has to be disrespectful or offensive to guests who are uneasy about firearms. Especially if you HAVE NOT discussed the issue with your wife.

    I would suggest you talk to your wife about this issue and come to a conclusion that you are both comfortable with. Yes, you have every right to carry in your own home, but your step son has every right to not come over anymore and your wife has every right not to talk to you again because you drove such a wedge between yourself and her family you are trying to unite.

    Be smart about it. Since when did our right to carry become more important that the people we carry to protect?
    We have had many guest come over to visit and seen my holstered gun and have not said anything and still come around, in fact my wife even shows them the targets she has shot and talks openly about our right to bear arms.

    I am actually the main reason my wife's son and grandkids come around. My wife has alienated them much more it the past, her son and grandkids love and enjoy being with me, that is why I was so shocked to hear him speak to me that way.

    I will now and in the future, make the comment about "my weapon is safe and stored in my holster"
    Stargzer
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  5. #34
    Member Array stargzer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadMac View Post
    I tried to read between the lines a bit in your post, so I may be off-base. However, you said it's your wife's house. I assume by the wording, when you got married, you moved into "her" house. I find it odd you are now married, and have never discussed this important issue with your spouse.

    Although it may technically be "your" house now as well, it's possible her adult children perceive it as "her" house. Depending on how long you dated before marriage, her children may perceive you as an interloper. My parents are now deceased, but had my widowed mother remarried after I was an adult with children, I personally would object to being referred to as a "stepson" by her new squeeze. But that's just me.

    If you're trying to get off to a good start with your new family, I'd suggest you drop the "my house - my rules" bravado, and concentrate on fostering goodwill with your wife's adult children. If you had slipped into your bedroom and put on your aloha shirt after church before taking off your jacket, no one would have been the wiser, and you wouldn't have introduced this contentious issue on Easter Sunday.

    Guns and concealed carry are MAJOR issues with many people, and by exposing your sidearm, you made it a family problem on Easter. Telling your new "stepson" he can either accept it or get lost may make this marriage a short-term one for you.
    Actually, yes it is technically my wifes house, but she has told me it is "my house also". We have discussed the issues, my only "mistake" was not concealing after removing my coat jacket and immediately covering with an Aloha shirt. I only wrote "step-son" for clarification, as I call in "Son"

    So, I guess the lesson here is when removing one concealed cover, put on another ASAP......
    Stargzer
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  6. #35
    Distinguished Member Array Knightrider's Avatar
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    Your house, your rules, nuff said.
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  7. #36
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    I have the same problem with my stepson and daughter in law,they try to force the religous beliefs into my house,they pay no attention to their 3 kids when they show up without calling. I dont tolerate being told what I can and cant do in my own house very well. I feel like since they never call if I'm doing something thats against their religion they know where the door is. I'm not bending over backwards to accomodate someone elses beliefs,like others have said My house,My rules.they know my wife and I dont subscribe to their religion and rationalizing with them is impossible so we dont invite them over.

  8. #37
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    If you had kept it concealed, there would have been no discussion. That's the best way to avoid the discourse.
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  9. #38
    Member Array stargzer's Avatar
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    Yes, you are absolutely correct. Lesson learned, cover up immediately. Out of sight, out of mind.
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  10. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knightrider View Post
    Your house, your rules, nuff said.
    ^This^

    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    If you had kept it concealed, there would have been no discussion. That's the best way to avoid the discourse.
    Why? I regularly remove my handgun when I get home (my parents' house, but only for 6 more days) for comforts sake and leave it sitting near my perch of choice in the holster, pointed in a safe direction with my spare mag next to it. Pretty much anyone who would be invited into the house knows I carry anyway, and if they don't like it they can deal with it or not come in my house. The only time I do anything with it is when the neighbor brings his 4 year old boy and 6 year old girl over. If i truly believe that keeping my firearm nearby is a necessary safety precaution, why would I change the rules just because someone doesn't like it? I follow the rules in their house, they'd darn well better follow them in mine.
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  11. #40
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    sounds like his german wife needs to figure out that she's in the USA and we have guns
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  12. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by paullie View Post
    sounds like his german wife needs to figure out that she's in the USA and we like guns
    Exactly, and I tweaked that for you.

    My big problem here is they are teaching the kids that "Grandpa with gun = BAD," but "Grandpa w/o gun = GOOD." Two lessons for the price of one.

    How old are the kids? Do the parents really believe that eliminating any reference to guns will make the kids safer? That a gun in a holster will strike like a hungry snake if it gets too close to a child? That their kids don't or won't ever know that they, you, or any friends' parents have a gun, and will never look for it to satisfy their curiosity of the 'forbidden fruit?'

    I CC and OC around my kids, 11 and 4, all the time. Every once in a while they will ask to see it. I unload and do a quick show and tell. Doesn't take them long to lose interest and move on to Woody or SpongeBob. Guns and kids, NOT A PROBLEM as long as you are a responsible adult!
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  13. #42
    Member Array stargzer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paaiyan View Post

    If i truly believe that keeping my firearm nearby is a necessary safety precaution, why would I change the rules just because someone doesn't like it? I follow the rules in their house, they'd darn well better follow them in mine.
    Lots of great comments and advise. I may not have made it very clear in my original post. When I was dating my wife and I visited her home, I CCW and she did not know it. I did not know at the time how she felt about guns and such, then, one day she jokingly said "are you just happy to see me or is that a gun in your pocket?" Well, I got this huge grin on my face and told her "Both" She was very surprised at my answer, but very OK with it as well. As previously stated I have taken her shooting and teaching her about guns and self defense. As far as her son, he does own a gun, I've offered to go shooting with him. BTW, I also reload my own and wife let me have my own "Cave", SIL gun is 40 SW, which I also reload, he knows that too. Last Christmas 2009, his wife's parents came to visit from Germany. We went to dinner at their house and one discussion led to another and eventually to the topic of guns and concealed carry. Well, my SIL wife looked at me and asked me if I had it on me. My answer to her was I have a legal permit to carry if I choose to, left it at that. After that incident, I told my wife I would respect their home and not carry while visiting, just in case she ever asked me again, then would not be lying to her. I was just very taken aback by my son telling me to remove my gun, but, as I've said I normally have a gun on me at all times, just forgot to cover up before his family arrived.
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  14. #43
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Family dynamics more than anything. "His house" after a recent marriage to which before it was "her house" and "her son" may or may not understand that the new partnership in the house means the rules between his mom and her new husband may be different than what he was accustomed to before. I carry in my own house ALL THE TIME. I have small kids, so I'd rather have it on my person than anywhere else in the house. When neighbor's kids come over to play with our kids, neighbors come by, kids selling cookies, my daughters scout troop comes over (WHATEVER), I realize that not everyone is comfortable with guns or understands I have had extensive training and take safety seriously. The gun doesn't leave the holster at home, so no problem. It's just easier even at my own house to keep it concealed...even at my families houses (and they all know I carry 24/7), but if they don't have to see it, look at it, and be top of mind awre of it then it won't make them uncomfortable. It just avoids conflicts for me. I even conceal it mowing the grass. Don't want to advertise I have guns in the house.

    While I do advocate the "my house, my rules" approach, it sounds like his family dynamics result in better outcomes if they just don't know.
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  15. #44
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    Maybe you should introduce your step-kids to the word: hoplophobia
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  16. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by stargzer View Post
    First off, Happy Easter to all.

    Well, we had Easter dinner here at our house (my wife's house, we recently got married). We invite wife's Son and Daughter, along with grandchildren. We just got home from Church and I've taken off my coat (80+ today) and I'm carrying my IWB 45 Warthog. My step-son sees it and tells me to remove it and put it out of sight and reach of his kids. Well, I go into the bedroom and start to take off my holstered gun. I'm thinking wait a minute this is MY HOUSE, so I leave it on and throw on an Aloha shirt to cover and conceal my gun.Later on after everyone has left, I mention it to my wife and she says I should have removed my weapon and put it up, saying "that's the rule". Well, never had a discussion about that before. We have had the granchildren spent the night and I have put my guns out of reach of little hands and whenever we visit step-son's home I leave my gun it the car's glove box, his wife is against guns (she's from Germany) so out of respect I do not carry into their home. I believe I had every right to be armed in MY OWN HOME. What to you all think?
    I think if my stepson had said that to me, I would have said some very not nice things back. My house, my rules. Simple as that. You were wearing the gun in part to protect his kids and him. He needs some schooling in the rules of your house. If he isn't comfortable with them, he doesn't have to come over anymore.
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