Forget all this stuff and "disparity" too. Assault & battery is pretty much the same anywhere. No 98 lb. woman (or anyone else) has any legal right to assault and batter anyone, regardless of height and weight.
Research and go with what your state statutes say in regards to assaults, deadly weapons, and personal defense.
And as for being a "bouncer," I put that job in the same catagory as repo agents and EOD specialists: Don't go in expecting the outcome will always be in your favor!