Hesitation - learning from my mistakes

Hesitation - learning from my mistakes

This is a discussion on Hesitation - learning from my mistakes within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; One of my biggest concerns while carrying concealed is whether I will be able to use my weapon if the situation warrants it. If I'm ...

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Thread: Hesitation - learning from my mistakes

  1. #1
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    Array BenGoodLuck's Avatar
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    Hesitation - learning from my mistakes

    One of my biggest concerns while carrying concealed is whether I will be able to use my weapon if the situation warrants it. If I'm ever confronted by a life-threatening scenario will I be able to draw my weapon and, if necessary, use it to stop the threat.

    There are three events in my recent life where a situation presented itself and I had a choice of acting or not. Several years ago, my family and I were taking a horse-drawn cart ride and, at one point, the horse stopped. As we sat there, the horse suddenly moved forward and my 4 year old son fell off the back of the cart. Before I could even move, my wife jumped off the cart and scooped him up just before the horse backed up.

    A year ago, we were on a camping trip and were on inflatable rafts on a fairly calm river. I was in one raft with my 10 year old son and 12 year old daughter. She was at the front of the raft and I was at the back with my son sitting in the middle. He decided to sit on the edge of the raft and suddenly he fell over the side. Again before I could move (several seconds), he popped up from under water and I helped him back into the raft. I told myself then that I would never again watch one of my kids in danger and not try to help them.

    This past July, we were taking a sailboat ride on the Mediterranean Sea and three of our kids were enjoying a raft pull from the back of the boat. The skipper had told us that if we fell off the raft to wait until the boat circled around and not to try and swim back to the raft. As my wife and I watched, my 13 year old daughter fell off the raft. In about 2 seconds I jumped off the sailboat, holding onto the tow rope that was attached to the raft. I then swam to my daughter, grabbed her and swam with her back to the raft.

    The point of all this is that we can learn from our mistakes and from previous situations. My mental attitude has changed from one of helpless watching to purposeful action. I run scenarios through my head and I have also been practicing mental images of acting and reacting. I believe that we can learn from any situation and that hesitation is merely inaction from lack of preparedness and thoughtfulness.

    It's important to know all the facts of a situation and not to just act rashly. But when the SHTF, preparedness will allow me to overcome hesitation and act appropriately.
    Ben

    Cogito, ergo armatum sum. I think, therefore I am armed. (Don Mann, The Modern Day Gunslinger; the ultimate handgun training manual)



  2. #2
    VIP Member Array Guantes's Avatar
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    Progress is nearly always pleasing.
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    Senior Member Array adric22's Avatar
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    I have some of the same fear. I mean sure, if a guy pulls out a knife and threatens me, the situation is pretty cut and dry. I always worry about those situations where you think maybe you are in danger but aren't sure. You wouldn't want to pull out a gun and get into trouble. I'm pretty sure those situations do present themselves. I think that is the only time I'd hesitate.
    "Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." -Plato

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    We can all, always improve. One statement that I really hate to hear is "that's just the way I am".
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    VIP Member Array glockman10mm's Avatar
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    Not everyone is quick to react. Sometimes it has to become ingrained through training or events such as you described.

    Sounds like your only problem is the childrens inclination to fall off moving objects. DO NOT take them to theme parks, lol. You will be very busy.
    Ignorance is a long way from stupid, but left unchecked, can get there real fast.

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    Ex Member Array MadMac's Avatar
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    I think the moral of the story is this: you need to find safer vacations for your family.

    P.S. Also make sure everyone is wearing a lifevest on the water. If you let your kids sit on a raft in the Med or take a rafting trip without everyone wearing one, you're just asking for trouble. I am a fairly good swimmer (even have my own cee-ment pond), but I always wear a lifevest while boating, jet-skiing, or kayaking. I would NEVER let my children go without one.

    BTW, my lifevest has a convenient pocket for my S&W 642 and a couple speed loaders.

    Just like concealed carry, preventing a situation from becoming an emergency is a lot easier and cheaper than dealing with one as it unfolds.

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    Member Array dtox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by glockman10mm View Post
    Sounds like your only problem is the childrens inclination to fall off moving objects. DO NOT take them to theme parks, lol. You will be very busy.


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    Senior Member Array SFury's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WHEC724 View Post
    We can all, always improve. One statement that I really hate to hear is "that's just the way I am".
    There's nothing wrong with being who you are. The real question is, why is someone making the statement?

    I moved into a new position where I work, and already am putting some people off. Why, it's just the way I am...

    That, and I'm not the old person. I correct people when they say "Oh, you're the new departed person." No, I'm SFury, the new person. It's my way of saying that I'll do my job how I do it, not like the old person did it. I've already had to put the breaks on some requests that the old person would have snuck through. I'm not going behind my bosses back, I'm doing things by the book. Life's simpler that way.

    Besides that, I'm not certain my dogs can help pay the bills. I catch them sleeping on the job far too often.

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    Distinguished Member Array INccwchris's Avatar
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    I think its time to have their eardrums checked, not saying your kids have balence issues, but somethin aint right. Actually this could be an advantage, they could fall as the bad guy drew and then they would be out of the line of fire
    "The value you put on the lost will be determined by the sacrifice you are willing to make to seek them until they are found."

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    Member Array natimage's Avatar
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    Aside from having someone push your kids off a cart or raft, how would one go about practicing your ability to react quickly to unexpected fear type situations?
    INccwchris likes this.
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    Distinguished Member Array INccwchris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by natimage View Post
    Aside from having someone push your kids off a cart or raft, how would one go about practicing your ability to react quickly to unexpected fear type situations?
    hes already had plenty of practice, these are just the ones he told us about
    "The value you put on the lost will be determined by the sacrifice you are willing to make to seek them until they are found."

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    Quote Originally Posted by MadMac View Post
    BTW, my lifevest has a convenient pocket for my S&W 642 and a couple speed loaders.
    I need one of those
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    Member Array ConcealedG30's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bentcursor View Post

    The point of all this is that we can learn from our mistakes and from previous situations. My mental attitude has changed from one of helpless watching to purposeful action. I run scenarios through my head and I have also been practicing mental images of acting and reacting. I believe that we can learn from any situation and that hesitation is merely inaction from lack of preparedness and thoughtfulness.
    I run scenairios through my head constantly and I believe it does help your metal preparedness. Situational awareness can stop a crisis before it happens. Just something to think about.
    Anticipation of Death is Worse Than Death Itself.
    Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God;

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    Ex Member Array MadMac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 64zebra View Post
    I need one of those
    Check out your nearby REI Outdoor Supply store.

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    Distinguished Member Array BadgerJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bentcursor View Post
    It's important to know all the facts of a situation and not to just act rashly. But when the SHTF, preparedness will allow me to overcome hesitation and act appropriately.
    One thing to be aware of is that 'hesitation' is not always a matter of 'preparedness' as in conscious thought. Some people are 'immediate responders' and some people 'freeze' in alarming situations. It takes a fair amount of training to overcome this 'hesitation response' in some people.

    Now, in your case your wife -appears- to be an 'immediate responder' and you -appear- to be a (temporary) 'freezer', but since you could overcome your hesitation the very next time it must have been some other factors. I don't know if there's an explanation for why some freeze and others act with almost no 'lag time'. But if you are a 'freeze' type you can't beat yourself up about it.

    To give some perspective it's thought that 'thrill seekers' have a preponderance of the dopamine receptors (or a lower amount of autoreceptors which brake the dopamine release) in the body and they need high stimulation to get aroused. Others may have a preponderance of the prozac receptors (prozac/paxil is a serotonin reuptake inhibitor) (or a higher amount of autoreceptors which apply brakes to dopamine release), and are turned off by high excitement (such as riding roller coasters). A little bit of stimulation goes a long way with them. So it may just be the way we are wire as to how quickly we can get off the mark.

    Thrill Seekers Lack Brakes In The Brain | ScienCentral | Science Videos | Science News


    Then his team scanned the brains of the volunteers using PET scanners. They measured the number of autoreceptors, the structures that act like brakes on dopamine release. As they wrote in the “Journal of Neuroscience” low thrill seekers had many brakes while high thrill seekers had very few. In the brain scans in the image above comparing a low and high thrill seeker, the white arrows point to the autoreceptors, which show up as bright blue.
    tcox4freedom likes this.

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