Handling Someone Who Might Not Understand

This is a discussion on Handling Someone Who Might Not Understand within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Originally Posted by gruntingfrog Fine. Then it's a coworker and you're going to your car after a meeting downtown. Better? No, let me guess. You ...

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Thread: Handling Someone Who Might Not Understand

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by gruntingfrog View Post
    Fine. Then it's a coworker and you're going to your car after a meeting downtown. Better? No, let me guess. You don't go to meetings downtown. Fine. It's a stranger and you both walked out of the store at the same time. The point is, you're in the situation described. Now what?
    Change the parameters all you like, then debate it to your heart's content.

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  3. #32
    VIP Member Array MitchellCT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bark'n View Post
    I agree 100% with what MitchellCT said in this post.

    Are you saying you should shoot the friend who's becoming unhinged before the police arrive? You know... leave no witnesses?
    Needs must when the devil drives.

  4. #33
    Distinguished Member Array kelcarry's Avatar
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    Good one Lima. I echo many of the other replies. You do what you gotta do and if there was imminent threat you did the correct thing. While you are in the midst of such a scenario, you should be yelling loudly--if your acquaintence was with you there could be other "witnesses", where your yelling will call their attention to you. I tend to believe the scenario is very unlikely but who knows. If you were so frightened and in imminent danger, common sense tells me that your acquaintence was peeing in her pants as well and would be utterly greatful for stopping a potential tragedy involving her.

  5. #34
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    Not much you can do with a unhelpful witness. Take care of yourself, maybe try and calm your friend. Ride the storm.
    Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.

  6. #35
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    This really puts things into perspective. All the training, all the talk, all the learning, can be flushed in a split second. I think Mitchells post should be an eye opener for a lot of people. Thanks for the topic.

  7. #36
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    Be sure the friend is between you and the bad guy, if bad guy cuts her up and kills her then there is your confirmation that you need to shoot and the witness problem solves itself.
    Eagleks likes this.

  8. #37
    VIP Member Array TedBeau's Avatar
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    I guess I can see where a slip by the friend, telling the cops, "After he shot the guy he told me that I should lie about being in fear for my life (because for some reason they were not in fear, and they just add the lie part on their own) would be bad for you.

    I was going to say this:

    How about just saying, "Listen, the police are going to have to invistigate this SELF DEFENSE shooting before they let us go home. Before things get crazy let me suggest that you refuse to talk to to the police without a lawyer present. It's your right, and I would prefer that your lawyer talk to my lawyer before any of us talk to the police. Again that is our right!

    However, when I typed it I realized there is no good way to get this across without sounding like you did something wrong. If your friend ask for a lawyer the police are going to ask them, Why? What did you do wrong?

    I guess your only hope is that you have enough time before the police arrive to whip out your copy of one of Ayoob's books and have them read it.
    Better yet loan them your copy before hand! Maybe use your time machine and go back to a month before the incident and give them a copy.

  9. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by TedBeau View Post
    I guess I can see where a slip by the friend, telling the cops, "After he shot the guy he told me that I should lie about being in fear for my life (because for some reason they were not in fear, and they just add the lie part on their own) would be bad for you.

    I was going to say this:

    How about just saying, "Listen, the police are going to have to invistigate this SELF DEFENSE shooting before they let us go home. Before things get crazy let me suggest that you refuse to talk to to the police without a lawyer present. It's your right, and I would prefer that your lawyer talk to my lawyer before any of us talk to the police. Again that is our right!

    However, when I typed it I realized there is no good way to get this across without sounding like you did something wrong. If your friend ask for a lawyer the police are going to ask them, Why? What did you do wrong?

    I guess your only hope is that you have enough time before the police arrive to whip out your copy of one of Ayoob's books and have them read it.
    Better yet loan them your copy before hand! Maybe use your time machine and go back to a month before the incident and give them a copy.
    LOL... precisely.

    Thankfully, I think pretty much all of my friends/acquaintances would just be too shocked and not know what to say or do and resort to saying and doing nothing until asked or directed. Honestly, I'd probably be experiencing so much adrenaline and concentrating so much on making sure we were safe, getting our location/description right to the 911 call, making sure there were no injuries, trying to keep myself from shaking to pieces, securing my children, that I probably wouldn't say much other than, "Are you alright?"

    I tend to get a little bossy when I'm stressed or in a hurry and I could see myself telling anyone who was going hysterical on me to just shut up and sit down or to get in the car and wait for police.

    Perhaps I could do it more nicely like, "Are you okay? The police are on their way so why don't you get in the car, make sure the kids are okay and keep them calm?"

    Perhaps giving the person a task to complete would channel energy away from the hysterics and make them more reasonable.

  10. #39
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    Great post Lima, very thought provoking! Remaining quiet till you have a lawyer seems to be the best course of action in this type of situation.
    "Don't start none, won't be none!"

  11. #40
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    There are never any easy or clear-cut answers to a situation like this because it is way out of our control.

    You cannot control the actions of the guy with the knife, he made that decision to attack.

    You cannot control the outbursts of a friend who just witnessed you shooting an attacker in self-defense. They may totally NOT understand why you chose to defend in that manner so it is out of your control.

    The only thing you have control over is what you say to the police, with or without a lawyer present when making a statement. Very obviously you too will be shaken, and in shock at having to pop a cap on this thug. Let your friend freak out, there is nothing you can do to stop it. I believe the police know enough to see what is happening here and freaking out people will most likely not be a factor in their investigation.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

  12. #41
    Senior Member Array Maverickx50's Avatar
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    not that much different than what the BG's friends, parents, or even bystanders might say. It's why you NEVER shoot unless it's your only;y alternative. The court costs in money, time, loss of sleep, aggravation, etc. have to be worth the alternative.
    I carry to protect myself and my loved ones from the BG's. Not to solve societies problems. That said: if more carried the deterrent would only have a positive overall effect on those problems.

  13. #42
    VIP Member Array Gene83's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by limatunes View Post
    LOL... precisely.

    Thankfully, I think pretty much all of my friends/acquaintances would just be too shocked and not know what to say or do and resort to saying and doing nothing until asked or directed. Honestly, I'd probably be experiencing so much adrenaline and concentrating so much on making sure we were safe, getting our location/description right to the 911 call, making sure there were no injuries, trying to keep myself from shaking to pieces, securing my children, that I probably wouldn't say much other than, "Are you alright?"

    I tend to get a little bossy when I'm stressed or in a hurry and I could see myself telling anyone who was going hysterical on me to just shut up and sit down or to get in the car and wait for police.

    Perhaps I could do it more nicely like, "Are you okay? The police are on their way so why don't you get in the car, make sure the kids are okay and keep them calm?"

    Perhaps giving the person a task to complete would channel energy away from the hysterics and make them more reasonable.
    That's probably the best approach. I'm always reminded of that scene in the old movies where someone shoots someone else and then turns to the witnesses and says something to the effect of...

    "All of you saw it!! It was self defense!! I had no choice!!! He was coming at me!!! Couldn't you see that!! It was self defense, I tell you!! It was self defense!!"

    As the camera pans the gathering crowd, you see them all shaking their head "no".
    "The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come." ~ Confucius

  14. #43
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    You say...."let me get this straight, your more concerned about the well-being of a strung out crackhead with a knife who was walking in the direction of yourself and your own children than that of your own children? What the [censored] lady?"

    I understand the predicament your in as far the relation between your profession and your social life. I work with a bunch of liberal office weenies who would hit the roof if they knew what I have strapped on my belt when im not in the office. And its really none of their concern. according to the scenario you just gave me, its sounds like it would be a matter of hindsight if the crackhead indeed slashed the moms throat or even took a kid hostage, would she have wished someone was there with the capability of de-escalating the situation before it developed to a life threatening situation? I think it would still be best if you kept it to yourself coz in my experience, people get carried away and often start spewing facts that nobody needs to know in public (often after a few drinks) and the next thing you know, you look like the bad guy.

    keep your secrets to yourself and youll be fine.

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