Roommates Almost Shoot My Ex-Girlfriend

This is a discussion on Roommates Almost Shoot My Ex-Girlfriend within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Here's a close call that my roommates experienced back in January. Background: I live in a 3 bedroom, one story house with 2 roommates in ...

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Thread: Roommates Almost Shoot My Ex-Girlfriend

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array BlueNinjaGo's Avatar
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    Roommates Almost Shoot My Ex-Girlfriend

    Here's a close call that my roommates experienced back in January.

    Background: I live in a 3 bedroom, one story house with 2 roommates in a very nice neighborhood. We're all in our mid-20's. One roommate (who owns the house) is a LEO and the other just passed his CHL class. We all 3 grew up in an area which has a much higher crime rate, so we are always observant and prepared. The ex-girlfriend mentioned is a 21 year old I dated for 4-5 months last year. I ended it for many reasons, but at the top of the list was her excessive drinking and reckless behavior. (Drinking and driving, visiting shady and unsafe bars, associating with people I don't consider to be upstanding citizens, etc...) She was upset about it for a while according to our mutual friends, but eventually got over it. I saw her a few times after, but a couple months had passed since I saw her and since she visited our house.

    Story: I had just left town that day to go to Louisiana for a refinery turnaround, so I was not at home during the event. My ex-girlfriend obviously had no knowledge of this. Apparently she was extremely intoxicated at a nearby bar, which she has been known to do. After a disagreement with her best friend and mother, she left her purse and phone and walked the 1.3 miles (thanks Google) to my house. (I received a text around 2:30AM from her best friend asking if I was in town, and if I knew where my ex was. I replied no and went back to sleep.) Upon arriving at my house, she had no way of calling me, so she tried knocking/banging on my window. After no luck with that, she tried ringing the doorbell, opening the front door, and opening the garage overhead door.

    During all this, she had woken up both of my roommates. They each instinctively grabbed their bedside pistols, left their rooms, and met up in the living room. After a quick back and forth that no, it was not each other making the noise, and they were not expecting anyone, they noticed my ex-girlfriend was back at the front door, beating on it. The LEO approached the door while my other roommate stood back in the hallway with a clear view of the door. My roommate turned on the porch light, looked through the door/window, saw it was my ex, and unlocked the door. As he began to open it, she pushed it open, knocking him back. According to my other roommate, "If he had fallen any further back, I would have shot, but since he was still close, I didn't want to risk hitting him." (I should mention that he didn't know my ex, had only seen her once before for a brief few seconds, and at the time the porch light hadn't finished turning on. Stupid energy saving crap...)

    At this point she began demanding to see me until they explained I was out of town. The owner of the house offered her the couch to sleep it off as long as she left when they went to work.

    Anyways, sorry for the drawn out post. Thought I'd share with as many details as I could think of. On that note, LEO roommate had his G26 and the CHL roommate had his XD40 tactical.

    So opinions? Critiques? We have already informed her that she is no longer welcome at our house and I have since raised my standards for who I date.

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  3. #2
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    One suggestion, one critique.

    Suggestion: depending on the level of friendship you have with the ex-girlfriend (would you cross the street to say hello?), I would call her friends and family to get her into a program for alcoholics. No 'maybe' about it, she is a full-blown alcoholic from everything you described, and she probably has no idea how close she came to dying from her alcoholic behaviors in that January incident.

    Critique: OK, homeowner and roommate arm themselves and respond to an unidentified threat making noise outdoors. Maybe the entire incident took place inside of 43 seconds, but - at what point would anyone have dialed 911? Yep, homeowner is a cop, but there's no shame in calling the on-duty cavalry for backup and to deal with the miscreant, whoever it is.

    But overall, a decent ending. No one got hurt.
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    Senior Member Array Inspector71's Avatar
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    Sad fact of life is that you can't control who may knock on your door at any given time. On the bright side, you do have control over whether or not you open the door. Since your roommate recognized your ex and opened the door I would see no reason to shoot her.
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    VIP Member Array Thunder71's Avatar
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    Yeah, a little communication there between your roommate who knew her and the one who didn't could have gone a long way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Inspector71 View Post
    Sad fact of life is that you can't control who may knock on your door at any given time. On the bright side, you do have control over whether or not you open the door. Since your roommate recognized your ex and opened the door I would see no reason to shoot her.

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    Distinguished Member Array claude clay's Avatar
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    According to my other roommate, "If he had fallen any further back, I would have shot,

    another posted about so many comments regarding a willingness to shoot so early in an encounter.

    if indeed this is more true than just 'saying out loud' it bespeaks poor training or improper mindset.
    or both.
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    VIP Member Array varob's Avatar
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    My experience with drunks is, they'll only drag you down to their level.

    Brake all ties with her, and tell her you no longer want to have any thing to do with her.

    If that doesn't work, try a restraining order.
    Don't believe what you hear and only half of what you see!
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    Distinguished Member Array BlueNinjaGo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gasmitty View Post
    One suggestion, one critique.

    Suggestion: depending on the level of friendship you have with the ex-girlfriend (would you cross the street to say hello?), I would call her friends and family to get her into a program for alcoholics. No 'maybe' about it, she is a full-blown alcoholic from everything you described, and she probably has no idea how close she came to dying from her alcoholic behaviors in that January incident.

    Critique: OK, homeowner and roommate arm themselves and respond to an unidentified threat making noise outdoors. Maybe the entire incident took place inside of 43 seconds, but - at what point would anyone have dialed 911? Yep, homeowner is a cop, but there's no shame in calling the on-duty cavalry for backup and to deal with the miscreant, whoever it is.
    Re Suggestion: I tried talking to her while I was dating her, but she refuses to acknowledge the problem. Her best friend has tried repeatedly as well, but with no luck. Even after getting a P.I. (which should have been a DWI, but she got 'lucky') it only temporarily slowed her down. The biggest issue we have is not the frequency at which she drinks, since we go out for a few beers quite often, but the fact that she doesn't know when to quit. There is rarely an 'inbetween' for her. She drinks to get drunk, and it's sad. As for her family, it's just her mom and sister, and let's just say the apple didn't fall far from the tree. First time I met her mom, she was plastered at a shady bar taking shots of tequila.

    Re Critique: The first thing they did was check with each other. It's not uncommon for us to have late night company who wake up the other roommates. After that, I guess they felt secure knowing there was two of them armed. Like you suggested, the whole event took place in a matter of minutes, while the important parts were only a few seconds.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder71 View Post
    Yeah, a little communication there between your roommate who knew her and the one who didn't could have gone a long way.
    That was my first thought. He should have told my other roommate who it was before he opened the door.

    Quote Originally Posted by claude clay View Post
    According to my other roommate, "If he had fallen any further back, I would have shot,

    another posted about so many comments regarding a willingness to shoot so early in an encounter.

    if indeed this is more true than just 'saying out loud' it bespeaks poor training or improper mindset.
    or both.
    From his point of view, someone who has been trying to gain unpermitted access to our house has just pushed the door into my roommate forcing himself/herself into our house. Before he pulled the trigger, he identified the target and made the decision not to. Isn't that what we're supposed to do? Identify the threat and assess? Also should note his view was blocked by my roommate until she pushed him with the door.

    Quote Originally Posted by varob View Post
    My experience with drunks is, they'll only drag you down to their level.

    Brake all ties with her, and tell her you no longer want to have any thing to do with her.

    If that doesn't work, try a restraining order.
    I couldn't agree more. I do not associate with her, although we have a few mutual friends. I've only seen her once since then, with some new guy. Dodged that bullet, so to speak...

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    Senior Member Array Inspector71's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueNinjaGo View Post
    Re Suggestion: I tried talking to her while I was dating her, but she refuses to acknowledge the problem. Her best friend has tried repeatedly as well, but with no luck. Even after getting a P.I. (which should have been a DWI, but she got 'lucky') it only temporarily slowed her down. The biggest issue we have is not the frequency at which she drinks, since we go out for a few beers quite often, but the fact that she doesn't know when to quit. There is rarely an 'inbetween' for her. She drinks to get drunk, and it's sad. As for her family, it's just her mom and sister, and let's just say the apple didn't fall far from the tree. First time I met her mom, she was plastered at a shady bar taking shots of tequila.

    Re Critique: The first thing they did was check with each other. It's not uncommon for us to have late night company who wake up the other roommates. After that, I guess they felt secure knowing there was two of them armed. Like you suggested, the whole event took place in a matter of minutes, while the important parts were only a few seconds.


    That was my first thought. He should have told my other roommate who it was before he opened the door.



    From his point of view, someone who has been trying to gain unpermitted access to our house has just pushed the door into my roommate forcing himself/herself into our house. Before he pulled the trigger, he identified the target and made the decision not to. Isn't that what we're supposed to do? Identify the threat and assess? Also should note his view was blocked by my roommate until she pushed him with the door.


    I couldn't agree more. I do not associate with her, although we have a few mutual friends. I've only seen her once since then, with some new guy. Dodged that bullet, so to speak...
    I must work on my reading comprehension. I thought the original post stated that roommate number 2 didn't shoot because roommate 1 was too close to the target and he didn't want to risk hitting him. Now I read that roommate 2 recognized the target and decided not to pull the trigger. The most important rule between partners in crime is to get their stories straight before the big blue arrive or it could get embarassing very quickly. Carry on.
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    Member Array dragongtr's Avatar
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    I'd at least let her friends know she is now living on borrowed time and almost got shot.

    Sometimes that wakes people up.

    And as far as the one roommate shooting right away, if someone forced themselves past my roommate knocking them down, and I have no idea who it is and they aren't listening, I'm pulling the trigger.
    Criminals don't care, not about your life, not about your stuff, not about your animals.....

    They are like politiicans, as long as they get what they want, they don't care.

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    Distinguished Member Array claude clay's Avatar
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    if someone forced themselves past my roommate knocking them down,

    if someone forced themselves past my roommate, a LEO trained to control out of control people,
    who opened the door--term open door as in 'let someone in' ring a bell? and than that person forced themself
    past the LEO , well id be fearing for my life and shoot them. my only line of defense against a drunk girl, i mean the two of us--was a gun.

    your last line of defense is your only action against a drunk girl---a gun

    my only question to you, the shooter and the LEO is--
    are you goung to take the plea for 5 years or go triple or nothing with a jury?

    the jury is certainly going to understand two young men, one a trained Cop, killing a young girl
    who came in through a door that was opened for her by the two of you...
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    VIP Member Array TedBeau's Avatar
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    The one thing that surprised me is that the roomate was unable to open the door enough to see whoh it was without her gaining entry. He should have placed his foot 6 inches behind the door, leaned all his weight onto that foot, before opening the door. She would only have been able to push the door open 6 inches. Also, since the energy saving light had not come on yet I would have waited 20 more seconds for it to come on. I also agree that since he had identified the girlfriend before opening the door, he should have immediately told roommate #2 to stand down. Still all in all things turned out OK.
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    Tell her the next time she shows up drunk she can sleep it off in the local jail and not on your couch. As others have said she needs help before it goes from bad to worse. Congrats on making better choices yourself.
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    VIP Member Array Yoda's Avatar
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    He let a girl push him over?
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    Distinguished Member Array BlueNinjaGo's Avatar
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    I guess I should clarify. He unlocked the deadbolt and said he only had the door cracked by the time she shoved on it. This obviously caught him off guard as he didn't expect her to shove it open and rush in. My assumption is that he 'lowered his guard' because he knew she wasn't a threat. Also, have you had a wooden door swing full force into your bare feet? And in his defense, I had to handle her while she was drunk plenty of times, and it is no easy task.

    Another point I'd like to make. He was opening the door to see what she wanted, not to let her in. (Although there really is no difference because she didn't give him a chance.) You're not inviting every person into your home when you answer the door, right?

    If it had been an unknown person, I'd bet he would have opened the door more carefully, if at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by TedBeau View Post
    The one thing that surprised me is that the roomate was unable to open the door enough to see whoh it was without her gaining entry. He should have placed his foot 6 inches behind the door, leaned all his weight onto that foot, before opening the door. She would only have been able to push the door open 6 inches. Also, since the energy saving light had not come on yet I would have waited 20 more seconds for it to come on. I also agree that since he had identified the girlfriend before opening the door, he should have immediately told roommate #2 to stand down. Still all in all things turned out OK.
    Quote Originally Posted by Yoda View Post
    He let a girl push him over?

  16. #15
    Senior Member Array Cold Shot's Avatar
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    Doesn't seem like a huge deal to me. When I lived in a house with dudes in college crazy/crazier stuff would happen all the time. No one ever got shot.

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