So most self defense laws generally say that an instigator cannot claim self defense.
Lets say your loved one instigated a confrontation, for example, rudely confronted the driver of a car in a parking lot who is blaring a profanity laced song for the kids in your car to hear. Instead of turning down the music, the driver jumps out of the car and comes at your loved one with a knife.
Clearly being rude doesn't call for being cut or stabbed, but technically your loved one is the instigator, so technically you can't legally defend. But lets be real, you're not going to let this happen, right? So you step up, confront, and unfortunately end up shooting the guy. In front of independent witnesses.
What will be your fate?