Woke up, drew on my . . . girlfriend! kinda long. - Page 3

Woke up, drew on my . . . girlfriend! kinda long.

This is a discussion on Woke up, drew on my . . . girlfriend! kinda long. within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Another thing to think about is to have 2 different greetings/responses; one to indicate everything's ok and one to indicate trouble. I know someone who's ...

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  1. #31
    VIP Member Array nedrgr21's Avatar
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    Another thing to think about is to have 2 different greetings/responses; one to indicate everything's ok and one to indicate trouble. I know someone who's system is to call out using the spouse's middle name if there's trouble. If he's coming in the door and hear's "(Dale), is that you?", he responds, "yeah, but I forgot the bread", leaves and calls the calvary - in case anyone is wondering, he's the Chief of Police in his town.


  2. #32
    Distinguished Member Array claude clay's Avatar
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    ok......you do not wake up all at once. few do and than age will likely change your abilities.

    think how long from the time you come awake enough to think about what you are hearing and...

    now think if the time it would take to insert a magazine would slow ya down
    more that the action of charging the gun will bring you to a fuller state of alertness
    and help eliminate a false positive action.

    good that she understands, as do you--that the present way of doing things needs
    some fine tuning.
    Arthritis sucks big-big
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  3. #33
    Member Array xtalman's Avatar
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    To prevent your girlfriend from fumbling with the second lock, I recommend switching to a handleset. Another benefit is you won't accidentally lock yourself out. Really, the deadbolt is what provides the security, not the knob lock.

    Example:


    Amazon.com: Schlage F58 PLY 619 Plymouth Exterior Handleset with Deadbolt, Satin Nickel: Home Improvement

    Also, I have all my lamps hooked up to modules that allow me to remotely turn them on. If I hear a strange noise, I can hit one button and it will turn on all the lamps in the house (except my bedroom). If they decide to come into my bedroom, I'll be able to see them long before they can see me.

  4. #34
    VIP Member Array gottabkiddin's Avatar
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    My wife did something similar years ago. I didn't draw my weapon on her, but I did go into full alert mode; scared the pooh outa her, and me too for that matter. I solved the problem by telling her, "honey, don't creep around me while I sleep, go about you business just like normal". The subconscious knows the difference IMO.
    "He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." Luke 22:36

    "If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so." Thomas Jefferson

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by miller_man View Post
    First im going to start by saying I feel HORRIBLE for this.

    So my girlfriend of three years, mother of my 1 yr old daughter and my best friend ended up seeing the wrong side of my gun last night.

    Little background. She works as a bartender and has since I've known her, I used to work the restaurant with her until about two years ago(I didn;t need a second job anymore). She works nights, usually until about 11:30 to 12:30 sometimes a little later. She's been working this for about two years, with me always home and almost already in bed usually asleep when she gets home as i get up early for work. I'm a pretty light sleeper and usually wake up when she pulls in the drive. But sometimes she makes it inside and sometimes in the room before I wake up. And sometimes after really hard working days, I don't wake up at all. ANYWAYS, really used to her coming in late and I've had a gun on the headboard for as long as we've been together.
    You have very poor planning sir, and I would venture to say that you have not thought things through very well, if at all. She is expected to be home late after you are asleep, and here you are pointing a gun at her before you identified your target? You could have blown her friggon head off!

    I'm not sure you have a full and complete appreciation for what that really means, otherwise, you'd be posting about how you've put your guns away until you've had a chance to get proper training.


    Quote Originally Posted by miller_man View Post
    So last night I'm really tired after a really long tough day at work, get in bed around 11. I wake up sometime in the middle of the night (in my head), and hear some fidgeting at the front door. I become alert and listen really carefully. This is where the situation was different to me. I SWARE I thought she was right beside me in bed, I could've swore I even thought I heard her rustle around. But I never looked over to her side of the bed (which is away from the bed room doorway), I just listned for about thirty seconds or so maybe just like ten probably. Then I hear it! Front door swings open, and I hear soft foot steps. Then before I know it, my gun is in my hand and I'm sitting on the edge of my bed aiming at the door way. There is a pause in steps, my heart goes THROUGH THE ROOF! Then a figure comes around the kitchen corned and into my view. It really took about a full 1 to 1 1/2 seconds until I recongnized it was her. I lower the gun and stare in awe. She catches me lowering the gun and say "Oh my god, babe!" I said I was sorry and fell back in bed trying to keep my heart in my chest, almost felt sick for the next min or two. She was ok, not too mad and not to shooken up. I immiadetly was almost mad at myself and a little embarrassed. I really don't even remeber grabbing the gun or getting in that position. Just at some point i made a decision and almost instantly gun was in hand. Now I'm pretty sure sitting on my bed was not the best positon for me to be anyways, advice on where I should've been is welcome.
    As others have painfully pointed out, you have very poor tactics and questionable decision making skills.

    Quote Originally Posted by miller_man View Post
    Ok, so I was mad at myself for not verifying she was not in bed with me and for not shouting out to whoever I thought was coming. I always thought and I guess planned on yelling something out but I didn't. I will say my finger NEVER touched the trigger though. Was really glad. I am so thankful looking back that i never even touched it, the situation hadnt' made it that far in my head. And I'm really glad we always leave our kithcen light on at night, I think it works out well for this exact senario - she was in the light and identifiable, I was in the darker room.
    How the hell do you know that your finger wasn't on the trigger? You don't remember even getting the gun, taking up a position on the end of the bed.

    Something doesn't jive with your statements. You don't remember getting the gun and taking up a position to shoot from and yet you were cognizant enough to know you NEVER had your finger on the trigger. Not sure if I can buy that.


    Quote Originally Posted by miller_man View Post
    ...So i totally take all the blame, and think this was not exactly how i should of have handled it but thankfully nobody was hurt or anything. Your thoughts and input is welcome.
    I don't know... I think what you exhibited was totally unacceptable behavior and completely irresponsible gun handling. I can say that what I read from your post you lack respect for the power of the gun, and the magnitude of the consequences and responsibility you would have for negligently blowing your girlfriends brains out.

    But that's just me. Some people are more cavalier about how they treat firearms. I just usually get to clean up the mess.
    -Bark'n
    Semper Fi


    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

  6. #36
    VIP Member Array Spirit51's Avatar
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    A woman must not depend on protection by men. A woman must learn to protect herself.
    Susan B. Anthony
    A armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one has to back it up with his life.
    Robert Heinlein

  7. #37
    Distinguished Member Array ArkhmAsylm's Avatar
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    Nuff said.
    "Historical examination of the right to bear arms, from English antecedents to the drafting of the Second Amendment, bears proof that the right to bear arms has consistently been, and should still be, construed as an individual right." -- U.S. District Judge Sam Cummings, Re: U.S. vs Emerson (1999)

  8. #38
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    Thanks to most for your feedback, a few i will adress in a moment.

    Ok, so after thinking about this all day at work I have realized the three simple mistakes I made.

    Number 1 - I didn't look over to check if she was in bed with me. I actually recalled a time or two when I've been startled and looked over to see she wasn't home yet and knew it was her. This was the biggest mistake and easiest to do to prevent this whole thing. My whole reasoning for really getting into SD is for protecting my family. They're shelter, saftey and provision are my BIGGEST concerns these days. I should be first taking their whereabouts into account before making any decisions in any situation. But like I stated for some odd reason I completely thought she was there. But I didnt verify, that WON'T happen again.

    Number two - I didn't call out. Anything I would have called out would have gotten a response from her and I would have been at ease. Again, really simple and easy to do. Like I stated before I had always thought I would, but didn't. Again it WON'T happpen again.

    Number three - I should have NEVER brought the gun up to aim before seeing what my potential target was. Even after I call out (if I had) and no response i should have been ready but still holding the gun down to the floor. Lesson learned and I will put that into memory and training to call out before bringing gun up to aim. Again it WILL NOT happen again.

    I like the ideas of calling out different greeting and responses. We actually have code for if one of us senses or is in trouble when out and about. We will figure something out.

    For those who mentioned night sights, gun light or flash light - there was no problem identifing her because of light. She was standing in a fully lit kitchen, it wasn't a lack of light, it was from just awaking and probably some adrenalin. In reality it probably wasn't a full second but seemed long because of my state of mind. But like I said this set up was really good for seeing whos coming around the corner, they're walking into a completly lit room. Also I do have a regular flashlight on the headboard as well.

    To atctimmy - I NEVER SAID THIS WAS OK, and don't think anybody else said it was either. I admitted my fault and wrong way of reacting from the beggining.You are correct I never should have pointed a gun at family coming home at night. I knew that the moment it happened, but never said or thought it was ok. But to question "what im about". Those who know me would completely defend me on this one so i won't waste my time trying to convince you. And whoever said my tatical prep sucks, thats why I'm on here, training, goint to take a class soon and reading SD books. But I disagree that it completely sucks, my steps that night were not right without question as i said above.

    And lastly I won't make a whole other issue out of this but I will not be one to have all of my carry guns in a safe, unloaded or out of reach in my home. At night I will always have atleast one gun ready to go and within reach. My girlfriend and I have discussed this and both are completely comfortable with this. In a real home invasion someone is probably going to kick in your door, bash through a window or whatever but its going to probably be a bum rush where time it absolutely critical, and if you don't have a gun in IMMEDIATE reach you could be screwed. I carry all day and all night at home, why would i take it out of reach at possibly the most dangerous time? This is my opion and my choice, some will strongly dissagree.
    tcox4freedom likes this.
    The stupidity of some people NEVER ceases to amaze me.

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  9. #39
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    I'm not going to join the blame game as I don't see it serving a purpose in this instance. Instead I offer a solution.

    GunVault Standard Drawervault Safe | Overstock.com

    "There is a secret pride in every human heart that revolts at tyranny. You may order and drive an individual, but you cannot make him respect you." William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

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  10. #40
    Senior Member Array Inspector71's Avatar
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    When you post on here asking for thoughts, you usually get what you ask for. Hope you learned something going forward.....
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  11. #41
    Distinguished Member Array mr.stuart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zenger View Post
    this was close to becoming liberal fodder ... some gun people are wound way too tight. And you see,hear, smell a threat in every single possible situation.

    Gj not shooting the mother of your child....

    Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2

    Yes,I wonder how some people enjoy life because they are so afraid of an attack.
    Inspector71 likes this.
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    When the past smothers the present, there is only desperation. When the future absorbs the present, life stands still. In either case a decision must be made because you only live now and you are only what you are now.

  12. #42
    sgb
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.stuart View Post
    Yes,I wonder how some people enjoy life because they are so afraid of an attack.
    There's a difference between fear and being prepared. Just as there are differences in the level of Preparation.
    Bark'n, Hopyard and Spirit51 like this.
    "There is a secret pride in every human heart that revolts at tyranny. You may order and drive an individual, but you cannot make him respect you." William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

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  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bark'n View Post
    You have very poor planning sir, and I would venture to say that you have not thought things through very well, if at all. She is expected to be home late after you are asleep, and here you are pointing a gun at her before you identified your target? You could have blown her friggon head off!

    I'm not sure you have a full and complete appreciation for what that really means, otherwise, you'd be posting about how you've put your guns away until you've had a chance to get proper training.




    As others have painfully pointed out, you have very poor tactics and questionable decision making skills.



    How the hell do you know that your finger wasn't on the trigger? You don't remember even getting the gun, taking up a position on the end of the bed.

    Something doesn't jive with your statements. You don't remember getting the gun and taking up a position to shoot from and yet you were cognizant enough to know you NEVER had your finger on the trigger. Not sure if I can buy that.




    I don't know... I think what you exhibited was totally unacceptable behavior and completely irresponsible gun handling. I can say that what I read from your post you lack respect for the power of the gun, and the magnitude of the consequences and responsibility you would have for negligently blowing your girlfriends brains out.

    But that's just me. Some people are more cavalier about how they treat firearms. I just usually get to clean up the mess.
    Sure, I'll just disarm my self and family until Im properly trainded. So what qaulifications do I need to meet before you say I can arm myself again? So you never carried or had a gun until you were properly trainded?

    I dont remember grabbing the gun but I TOTALLY remember everything once it was in my and I fully gripped it. I KNOW I NEVER TOUCHED THE TRIGGER, I don't have to prove this to you but I know what i did, It was about the time it was fully in my hands that the adrenalin kicked in, my heart went crazy and everything slowed down. But again i dont need to convince you, i know what i remember and what i did. I already made myself look pretty bad and admitted to a whole lot of wrong by posting this, why would i lie about putting my finger? I decided to bare all when i posted this, to learn from it.
    The stupidity of some people NEVER ceases to amaze me.

    G19 AIWB

  14. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by sgb View Post
    There's a difference between fear and being prepared. Just as there are differences in the level of Preparation.
    Yup, I don't fear home invasions because I've prepared my home to a level where no one is just kicking in my doors or crashing through my windows.

    It wasn't without considerable time or expense, and because of that expense, I still don't have a nice big flat screen TV, jet ski, XBox 360 etc.

    However, I can start buying that stuff now, because I prepared and fortified my home against intrusion first. Of course it's not impenetrable... but it's not going to be an easy feat getting in. And if that helps keep me from having to kill someone, it's worth the investment. Also, those foolish enough to continue trying to break in, well, it's afforded me the luxury of being able to take up a proper defensive posture and ability to respond with overwhelming firepower.

    It's a simple equation of life priorities and properly thought out and executed preparation.
    l1a1 and sgb like this.
    -Bark'n
    Semper Fi


    "The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."

  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bark'n View Post
    Yup, I don't fear home invasions because I've prepared my home to a level where no one is just kicking in my doors or crashing through my windows.

    It wasn't without considerable time or expense, and because of that expense, I still don't have a nice big flat screen TV, jet ski, XBox 360 etc.

    However, I can start buying that stuff now, because I prepared and fortified my home against intrusion first. Of course it's not impenetrable... but it's not going to be an easy feat getting in. And if that helps keep me from having to kill someone, it's worth the investment. Also, those foolish enough to continue trying to break in, well, it's afforded me the luxury of being able to take up a proper defensive posture and ability to respond with overwhelming firepower.

    It's a simple equation of life priorities and properly thought out and executed preparation.
    I agree with all of this and if I owned my own house mine would be the same. I just can't fortify a house I'm renting. I have done some inexpensive improvements as it is. I am on my way to getting in my own house and hopefully should within a year or so and trust me, I want to be just as dillegent in securing my home as you have done.
    The stupidity of some people NEVER ceases to amaze me.

    G19 AIWB

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