to her i seem strange

This is a discussion on to her i seem strange within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; went out with my girlfriend last night as we were leaving a dinner house that has live blues music i paused in the door to ...

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Thread: to her i seem strange

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array ssssthesnake's Avatar
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    to her i seem strange

    went out with my girlfriend last night as we were leaving a dinner house that has live blues music
    i paused in the door to let my vision adjust and she bumped in to me.
    i always insist in going trough the door first since it lets me scan the parking lot etc.. which she has told me is ungentlemanly.
    she also finds it strange that i choose to sit with my back to a wall with a good view of my surroundings and will ask who ever is seating us for a different table even waiting for one to be cleared and wiped down which tends to exasperate her.
    i told her "whats a couple more minutes" if we can have a safer seat.
    well, back to last night i had paused to allow my vision to adjust to the lighting difference and was scanning from left to right to get the whole picture of the lot we were going to enter.
    i noticed about four drunken load twenty something males in the lot and hesitated by the entry way so i could tell her to wait there and i would bring the car up.
    when she starts chewing me out for being paranoid.
    i told her wait one and ill get the car.
    i walked out for my car and had to pass within a couple of cars of the rowdy group when one guy asks me for the time.
    i went to orange and told him i don't carry a watch since i figured out of four guys one of them has the time.
    i felt like it might have been an interview so keeping an eye on them i got to my car - got in - started it and picked her up at the door where she was upset at me for some ungodly reason.
    she just doesn't seem to "get it" that it's a bad world out here.
    it might come from growing up in a small mountain town i just dont know - might have to change girl friends as it seems that she is going to remain in a sheeple mindset.

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
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    Snake, you are strange, just like the rest of us on this forum. We know what can happen, and prepare for it. Those who don't may well suffer should the situation arise. I hope your girlfriend never has to find out the hard way why you are like that. May want to consider another girl friend; up to you - sheeple can change, but...

    P.S. sorry i missed you when you were in the area!
    John
    Assault is a behavior, not a device.

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  4. #3
    Member Array jowgafist's Avatar
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    hey man I guess I'm strange to then...but yeah I'm the same way...be aware of your surroundings...my girl seems to understand, she even know which seat I'm gonna sit at at restaurants.

  5. #4
    Member Array Warren's Avatar
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    My wife carries, sometimes, and she understands the gyrations I go
    through.

    Just the other night at a restaurant not only did I change seats I changed chairs.

    The first was so that I did not have my back to the room and the front door and the second was because the first chair had arms. I prefer chairs with no arms for obvious reasons.

    I'm also the last one in the car, the first one out of the car and usually the first one through a door.

    I also do a lot of looking around wherever I am. If someone were to pay close attention to me they would certainly think I am an odd one.

  6. #5
    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
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    Guys, I just noticed that 3 out of 4 responders so far are from California. Could it be California women are strange?
    John
    Assault is a behavior, not a device.

    "Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party

    Lifetime NRA member

  7. #6
    Ex Member Array F350's Avatar
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    Back when I was single and working for a long distance phone company we all would get together on Fri nights for drinks, and usually with some other people from a ski club many other employees were part of; as I ran the central switch I was often a bit late. I noticed as I was taking a seat there was often some laughing, other commotion etc going on, come to find out the gal that was our general manager was pimping over her friends. She and I were pretty good friends and she would make bets with the others as to which seat I was going to take when I got there, knowing me she always bet on the open seat against the wall or especially in the corner, no matter how hard it was to get to.

    Same here, I always scan a parking lot, if in town always walk the middle of the sidewalk so there is distance between me and corners to alleys and other streets and stay aware of anyone behind me. In a restaurant always face the door and never right next to it even if there is a wall to my back.

  8. #7
    Senior Member Array ssssthesnake's Avatar
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    swifty sorry to have missed you to but i do get down there to work offten will have another chance hopefully to go shooting with you all

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    snake.... if it'll make you feel better I dont think that you are strange...
    but that syle of run on sentenances you use with no capitalization makes your posts strange to read...
    The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it...- George Orwell

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  10. #9
    Member Array Spectre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ssssthesnake
    I went out with my girlfriend last night. As we were leaving a dinner house that has live blues music, I paused in the door to let my vision adjust and she bumped in to me, as I always insist in going through the door first (since it lets me scan the parking lot, etc.) which she has told me is ungentlemanly. She also finds it strange that I choose to sit with my back to a wall with a good view of my surroundings and will ask whomever is seating us for a different table, even waiting for one to be cleared and wiped down which tends to exasperate her. I asked her "what's a couple of more minutes if we can have a safer seat?"

    Well back to last night...I had paused to allow my vision to adjust to the lighting difference and was scanning from left to right to get the whole picture of the lot we were going to enter. I noticed about four drunken loud twenty-something males in the lot and hesitated by the entry way so I could tell her to wait there and i would bring the car up. Then, she starts chewing me out for being paranoid. I told her "wait one and Ill get the car". I walked out for my car and had to pass within a couple of cars of the rowdy group when one guy asks me for the time. I went to orange and told him that I don't carry a watch. I figured that out of four guys one of them has the time. I felt like it might have been an interview, so keeping an eye on them i got to my car, got in, started it, and picked her up at the door.

    She was upset at me for some ungodly reason and she just doesn't seem to get it that it's a bad world out here. It might come from growing up in a small mountain town. I just don't know, I might have to change girlfriends as it seems that she is going to remain in a sheeple mindset.
    Snake, your threads are usually interesting, but could you please take a little extra time for paragraphs, punctuation, and capitalization? It would just make it so much easier to read.

    On topic, I don't think you're being excessive. I'd rather err on the side of caution, which isn't even costing that much in time spent, than suffer a lifetime of pain and regret. Work the angle that you are trying to keep her safe. Hopefully she'll understand.
    Last edited by Spectre; September 15th, 2006 at 04:43 PM.

  11. #10
    Senior Member Array ssssthesnake's Avatar
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    sorry if it seems hard to read as im not much of a writer more a welder lol

  12. #11
    VIP Member Array MNBurl's Avatar
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    Good job!

    Just remind her you do it because you love/care about her. Works every time...
    MNBurl

    "If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking" - George S. Patton.

  13. #12
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    Snake is a good man.
    His threads are sometimes a little tough to read but, they sure are usually worth reading.

    I personally like having him active on CombatCarry and posting rather than not posting.

    We all have our strong areas and our weaker areas and Thank God we're not all exactly the same.

    It would be an incredibly dull & boring world if we were all alike and all with exactly the same skills.

    Typing (for sure) is not his strongest area but, he has good common sense and fantastic situational/tactical awareness.
    He is also a doggone good welder and a talented craftsman. He really knows his metals!

    He is a benefit to the forum & is thus appreciated by many...though (admittedly) he is somewhat difficult to read at times.

    In my opinion he has been well worth the extra time to work past the lack of paragraphs, punctuation, and capitalization.

    We like the sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssnake(((@>----<
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  14. #13
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    The door thing I can understand, because opening the door and letting the woman in/out first is traditionally the gentlemanly thing to do. However....you're entering first for tactical reasons, which is the smart thing to do. My husband lets me in/out first, but I'm the one who does the scanning anyway.

    As for the seating, women are supposed to be seated where we can "see and be seen." So the women sit facing the main body of the restaurant and men with their backs turned. So she's probably a bit offended, besides thinking you're paranoid. It's the tactical thing getting in the way again, and she's just going to have to get over it, unless she's willing and able to be observant.

    She finds your behavior paranoid and inconvenient, and will unfortunately not learn until she has a big scare (and even then?). At least you know you're doing the best you can.

    For what it's worth, my husband sometimes thinks it's odd that I insist on getting a good seat where I can observe everything I can. He's still in training.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

  15. #14
    Senior Member Array ssssthesnake's Avatar
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    Thanks for the kind words qk and betty I to do like to do the gentalmanly thing but when entering the restraunt not when we are leaving since I belive the danger would come later at night when entering a dark parking lot ect but im trying to find a compromise. since I would be even madder at myself if I were to let any thing happen I could have prevented with a little awareness. I was raised with manners just some times they have to be set aside for saftys sake or mabey I am parinoid lol. and I do value every ones input and am glad to have the insite that you bring to this betty being a lady and all you have shined some light on things I may have over looked concerning her feelings thanks

  16. #15
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    I don't think you are being paranoid, either. Depending on where we are, I often exit first and hold the door open for her while scanning. She understands what I am doing and does not think I am ungentlemanly; she knows I'm not....
    Bumper
    Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde; Beware the anger of a patient man.

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