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Incident today with door to door beggar.

6K views 37 replies 33 participants last post by  TedBeau 
#1 ·
My parents live in the house next to me. Today this man showed up at my fathers home, rang the doorbell, then gave my dad a sob-story about needing money for some baby formula. My dad said he wouldn't give him any money. So next the man said he was very hot and tired and asked if my dad would drive him home. Of course my dad being in his late 60's didn't feel comfortable doing that. So he walked over to my house with the man. My dad asked if I'd drive all of us down to the store and buy some baby formula and take the man home. I agreed. But then the man lost interest. He said, "Look, could you just give me the money and trust me?" My dad and I both politely said no. Then he walked off. He didn't even seem interested in the ride home anymore.

My dad told me later that he specifically came to my house knowing that I'd be armed, and felt more comfortable taking the man to the store and home. Now we see that was a good judgement call because apparently the man didn't want to be driven home. There is no telling what he would have done if he had gotten in the car with my dad.

I was going to call the police but my wife insisted that i not call 911 and tie up emergency lines for something like that. So I called the police department's main number but there was simply a recording saying that if we needed police assistance to hang up and dial 911. So I just said forget it.

Anyway. That's the end, nothing spectacular.
 
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#2 ·
Every department has a non-emergency/information number, you probably didn't call the right one? Glad that everything worked out, hopefully the next guy he does it to is just as lucky.
 
#4 ·
Every department has a non-emergency/information number, you probably didn't call the right one?
+1

One thing to consider is if when your father walked over to your house, did he lock the door behind him? An accomplice could've easily came in the door behind the two of them. Talking through the door or completely ignoring strangers might be the best course of action. Opportunity arrises once the door is open, they could be scouting to see what you have inside or kick the door in once you unlock and start opening it. We as law abiding/good hearted people often feel like we need to help others (which isn't bad), but unfortunately, some people take advantage of that. Just some things to consider - I'm not trying to tell you what to do (hopefully I didn't come off that way).

In the end, I'm glad that you and your father are safe and sound.
 
#5 ·
I don't answer my door for anyone, unless they've called me first. Basically, if I'm not expecting you, then you're not coming into my home...It's just too dangerous nowadays. Incidentally, If I'm out in my yard, I'm armed. I once had a "sales" person enter my open garage while I was out there working, I informed them in no uncertain terms that my garage is part of my home, and you are not to enter my home without my permission. This sales "lady" was supposedly selling magazines, she then asked if I would mind going into my home to get her something to drink! I told her that she's not welcome, "hit the road". I'm convinced that people could avoid alot of problems by keeping their boundaries secure. Keep your guard up! Stay alert, stay alive...
 
#9 ·
It's just too weird to trust anyone you don't know at the door. I won't give rides, and I don't answer the door to strangers. I will call the local police to have them check out a person who is trying to get a ride. Not to get them in trouble...just to have the LEO evaluate if they need more assistance..Wish the world wasn't this harsh. My 2 cents..it is now.
 
#10 ·
Not to hijack your thread but your post reminded me of an incident that occurred years ago at a quick stop, aka Stop and Rob. A guy came toward me in the parking lot near the gas pump, sizing me up he simply said, "I am not going to lie to you, I am drunk and I want some cash to buy some beer (a few other of his comments I am not allowed to post ie., much vulgarity) I replied to him that was the wrong approach to use. He then said, "you are a preacher aren't you?" I smiled and told him yes, he then proceeded to tell me he was filled with the Holy Spirit and could speak in strange tongues.
 
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#12 ·
I would have said no,if you need help I'll call the Police for you,bet he woulda found all kinds of energy to haul butt,
TELL YOUR DAD TO ASK STRANGERS QUESTIONS BEHIND A LOCKED DOOR.
There are numerous incidents where once a door is unlocked you just opened the one deterrent between you and a BG that may save your life
 
#14 ·
My dad asked if I'd drive all of us down to the store and buy some baby formula and take the man home. I agreed. But then the man lost interest. He said, "Look, could you just give me the money and trust me?" My dad and I both politely said no. Then he walked off. He didn't even seem interested in the ride home anymore.
:hand10:

And that is how we do that.

The goal was the money, of course. The baby formula ruse was nothing else. The wind hissing out of his sails proved every question you might have had about his basic motives. Circumspection is a wonderful thing. Willingness to help, leavened with unwillingness to be made a fool. Your father's been 'round the dance floor more than once. Kudos.
 
#38 ·
I kind of disagree, Dad should know better than to
1: open the door to strangers.
2: leave safety of home to walk away with stranger.
3: consider actually getting into car with stranger, whether son is with him or not.

What would Dad have done if the son was not home, decided to "take a chance" and drive the guy anyways?
 
#16 ·
I'm a fairly charitable person. I just have parameters which helps keep me safe, and ensures my charitable contributions don't get wasted.

What that means, is I don't give money or rides to those who appear to be homeless, down on their luck, or panhandlers/beggars. There are plenty of sources for those people to go to for a hot meal, a shelter, financial assistance or whatever they need. I direct them to those resources, and/or will be happy to call the police for them to get assistance and a more immediate response to their needs.

I donate my cash to established charitable organizations I have checked out or have dealt with before and have a long standing relationship with.

Having an established policy on how I donate and help the community makes it easier not to be caught off guard, or put in an awkward position when beggars and street people pop out to ask for a handout. I just say "No, I can't help you, but I can tell you who to call for help."
 
#17 ·
With regards to the non emergency number, it used to be that this number was published in the front of the local phone book (at least that is what I recall from when I was younger). Several years ago, we had a new years eve party a guest, who worked with my wife, became very intoxicated and we sent him to bed instead of letting him drive home. In the middle of the night we woke up, found his keys and left. In the process he set off our house alarm (waking us up), his car alarm, and my truck's alarm (I am sure the neighbors loved us). After getting off the phone with the alarm company, I tried to find the non-emergency number in the phone book, but wasn't having any luck. Finally I said screw it and dialled 911 and reported him giving a description and where I believed he would be heading. I was (later) told that reporting him was a smart thing to do from a liability standpoint.

Surprisingly he didn't show up to work for 3 days with no call and no explaination and when he did return he was miraculously enrolled in an alcohol abuse program (we had zero idea that he had a sever problem when we invited him). Though he never said anything, I am convinced he got nabbed.

I didn't mean to hijack the thread, but the main point was that I couldn't find a non-emergency number when I needed it.
 
#18 ·
HOLD ON! Of course he wanted the money, but he asked your dad for a ride but then walked away when you were going to be in the vehicle. When it would have been 2 on 1, he was no longer interested in the ride. That makes me suspect he had something in mind if he would have been in the car with just your dad. I personally think you should report this to the police today and keep a vigilant watch around your houses and inform your other neighbors. There's a reason he mentioned the ride with your dad and walked off when you came into the picture...and I'd venture to say his reason wasn't good. Stay alert and don't under-estimate the person...he may have been scouting people out and targeted your dad for a reason. Please stay safe.
 
#20 ·
HOLD ON! Of course he wanted the money, but he asked your dad for a ride but then walked away when you were going to be in the vehicle. When it would have been 2 on 1, he was no longer interested in the ride.
Good point. Should have said that what the guy didn't want was baby formula. Could have been change, all the cash you had, the keys to your home, your car, your life or any combination of these.
 
#19 ·
My community has an ordinance about soliciting. I put no soliciting signs on my doors along with a not trespassing sign. I hate getting all the church, pizza, realty, roofing and window ads put on my door. I just don't want those people on my property. Thieves have been using this as a way to case the neighborhood.
 
#21 ·
My parents are too nice, too charitable, and too trusting. I live 630 miles away from them and worry about this kind of stuff, especially considering how the neighborhood has declined in the last 20+ years. I've tried and tried to warn them about some of this stuff. In their case, it is mostly neighborhood people they "know", but like I've tried to tell them you don't know what a person is capable of when they're hopped up on stuff.
 
#23 · (Edited)
I don't deal well with panhandlers, they quickly find out that they need to do a 180...

That could have been a big problem for your dad.
He should not have opened the door.OMO
 
#34 ·
Or the phone for any length of conversation. Adric, y'all sound like good people. But this isn't an economic environment for face-to-face random acts of kindness. Here in LA, I'm always learning. I'm a nice guy but have no remorse or hesitation to treat strangers like I'm retsupt99. :ticking:
But I may have remorse when I don't.
 
#27 ·
adric22,
Your Dad's a smart guy, kudos to him. I would've reported it in case this guys next visit was more aggressive which might have been his intent...
 
#28 ·
Our local police have a non-emergency number, but it still answered by the same dispatcher who handles all the 911 calls. The difference is they know before they answer it is not a priority call. They can tend to more urgent issues before they take your call. Calling 911 when there is no emergency is illegal in some areas, so think about this before you dial.
 
#29 ·
...Calling 911 when there is no emergency is illegal in some areas, so think about this before you dial.
Yes. Always use the non-emergency number for calling the police when McDonald's shorts you two McNuggets. :hand9:
 
#30 ·
-
The emergency could have been the next potential victim's - call 911 next time. I have yet to have an officer tell me I've done wrong by doing so in these types of cases.
 
#31 ·
The man was panhandling/begging/soliciting money. In most communities there are ordinances against this. We have had people do this on occasion in our neighborhood and we always call the police who respond eventually and if the guy is still around they take him for a ride.
In Florida, when they cross your property line( front lawn/driveway) they can be charged with trespassing if they refuse to leave when asked. If they get surly with you there is always stand-your-ground. We as citizens don't have many rights anymore, but as long as I pay my taxes, my house is mine and my word in it is law!
They used to allow panhandling on street corners in my city. The place got over run with dead-beat types asking for handouts. They began to get pretty aggressive and made my wife extremely nervous to the point she avoided certain intersections. Most of them were homeless and started tent cities on city property and in parks where they used any convenient area to relieve themselves. The city finally got tired of all the complaints and made it illegal and began arresting those who still tried it. Practically over night they fled like locusts to another city that had no such ordinance.
 
#36 ·
I think the last time I dialed the non-emergency number I just got the same 911 dispatcher. Hopefully it at least marks the call as non-emergency and puts me on hold if there are other calls.

This would have been a good time to discreetly snap a cell phone photo of the guy for future use.
 
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