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Road rage, followed home! Happened to us recently.

18K views 66 replies 49 participants last post by  Exacto 
#1 ·
Ok, let me start with some background information. I have been a member here for a while, I read frequently but post very rarely. I have been carrying (concealed) for about 3 years. Still feel like I have a lot to learn, but I do take my responsibility to protect myself and wife and child very seriously.

This happened to us a few nights ago and after having some time to process it, I thought I would post on here and try to gain some insight on what other people would have done/what I could better do in the future.

The three of us, my wife myself and our ten year old, were heading to my parents for our Christmas dinner. They live in a very rural area, week before this night their neighbor had a medical emergency and it was well over 30 minutes before first responders were able to get out there. We left town heading to their house on a two lane road with no shoulders. From the town we left to the first turn headed to their house is about 9 miles. About a mile before the first turn there is a gas station on the side of the road. About three miles before the gas station a truck passed us, my wife was driving and had the cruise set on 67. She dimmed her lights and let the truck get a couple hundred yards ahead of us before turning her brights back on. When she did so the truck slowed down to around 45 and we came up behind him. She dimmed her lights and he drove about 45 mph for just a bit and then sped back up. We were thinking he was looking for a place to turn or something. Repeat that whole process, he got back ahead of us, she gave him plenty of room before turning brights back on, and this time when she did he slowed down until we caught up with him and then stopped completely in the road and got out. With both hands raised in the air and mouthing something he proceeded towards our vehicle.

At this point we were several miles outside town with no houses in sight. My wife immediately threw it in reverse and started backing up, at which point he got back in his truck and sped off. She pulled forward enough that I could get his tag number and then waited for him to take off before we did the same. The two or three miles from there to the gas station we drove about 55 and gave him plenty of distance, and thought it would be over. When we got to the gas station I noticed him sitting in the parking lot and told my wife that he would probably get behind us, and sure enough he did, with his brights on. Since we were going under the speed limit another car had caught us and was now in between us. When we made the first turn and he followed us I got on the phone. We we at least 10 miles from the town we came from and if we had kept going instead of turning it's 30 miles to the next town with nothing in between but farm houses and oil field roads. Knowing that law enforcement would be miles away, and knowing he would more than likely follow us al the way to their house I called my dad and told him what was going on, asked him to meet us at the end of their driveway and call the Sheriff for us.

Knowing my dad would be well armed and not knowing if there were other people in the truck with him or if he was armed I decided that would be the best course of action. He turned down the gravel road along with us and as we got to their drive way my dad was waiting for us, he was carrying a Kimber 1911 and I was carrying in an outside the waste band holster. I got out of the car and told my wife and kid to go on up to their house and joined my dad at the gate. Just as I thought, the gentleman, and I use that term very loosely, tried to turn in their drive way. My dad politely informed him that he was on private property and was trespassing and needed to go back the way he came from. He ignored that request and said "I just want to ask him what's up with his bright lights". I was slightly less polite when I informed him that I don't take threats to my family lightly. He insisted he never threatened me, and I told him that took him getting out in the middle of the highway and coming towards our car and then following us several miles to a private drive in the middle of no where a definite threat. The whole time dad was on the phone with the 911 dispatcher, and after a advising him several times to leave that we were on the phone with 911 and had given them his tag number he offered his name and said he wasn't "afraid of the law" and would wait for them at the end of the road. he did not follow up on that promise.

We sat down to eat and the Sheriff came out, took a statement and said he would have a visit with him and that was pretty much the end of it. I did look him up on our local court records site and saw that he has more than his share of run ins with the law including domestic assault and stay away orders from several people. I really believe he was just looking for trouble.

I will add that as I exited our car I did pull my shirt up and over my firearm as open carry is now legal in our area. My dad was also openly carrying his firearm, but other than that our firearms were not involved in any way.

So with that, what would you have done differently?
 
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#8 ·
Sometimes there's just no escape from idiots. Yeah, bright lights in my rear view mirror bother me too, but I flip the "night" lever and go on about my business as usual.
 
#11 ·
I'm really glad that you and your family are OK and that no one or animal was harmed here. However, I would not have taken that person to your Dad's house...........

I run into this sometimes on the back roads with people who just hate Harleys (Bikers) and are having a 'bad day' for them. If I can, I back track.

Really, unless you are having a bad day also, and want to force a confrontation, just go the other way...........

I say this as a Marine....... Only engage in the direct conflict on the terms you choose = winner!

Also, stick a boot up the local LEO/Sheriff and make sure they go out and follow up on this! Politely and with purpose, make them understand that this is a situation of 'To Protect and Serve' that they get paid for............
 
#13 ·
Actually, it's people looking for outlets for the anger built up inside them from various sources and reasons. You just never know what's going to trigger someone anymore.
 
#19 · (Edited)
Under the Conditions I think you handled it fairly well,except I don't recommend taking a threat to anybodys residence,BG could retaliate later by vandalizing property or worse

^^^YEP^^^^^^^^^^^^^



From the OP


For all saying stop going back to brights the general guidelines for dimming


So if the distance was indeed "a couple hundred yards" she was well within any legal requirement to go back to brights. The guy was a dick as evidenced by his criminal record.


^^^^^Just because you can, doesn't mean you SHOULD^^^^^^^^^^^


My rule of thumb for brights is if someone is in front of me, and my Hi beams lite up the traffic signs where they are at, I will turn them off.
It is usually way farther than 300 or 500 feet.
Yes, people are as you say, phallic symbols, but there is really no good that can come from running into these morons.
 
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#15 ·
From the OP
She dimmed her lights and let the truck get a couple hundred yards ahead of us before turning her brights back on.
For all saying stop going back to brights the general guidelines for dimming
500 ft while approaching someone.

300 ft. when coming up behind.
So if the distance was indeed "a couple hundred yards" she was well within any legal requirement to go back to brights. The guy was a dick as evidenced by his criminal record.
 
#20 ·
From the OP


For all saying stop going back to brights the general guidelines for dimming


So if the distance was indeed "a couple hundred yards" she was well within any legal requirement to go back to brights. The guy was a dick as evidenced by his criminal record.
when were those guidelines written? 100 yards isn't far with modern headlights. OMO. Not excusing the guy in the OP who followed them, just saying technology probably outpaced the headlight law. That said, I would have stayed at the gas station if a police station not nearby.
 
#17 · (Edited)
I don't see the problem with the lights. You said you gave him ample room and even if you didn't it's no excuse for the moron to be acting in such a manner. He could've simply broke off the encounter just as easily as acting the way he did but instead he chose to lock on you thereby forcing you to take action.

I also don't see a problem with calling your dad. I mean its obvious the guy was after you. i don't expect you to drive around all night in an unfamiliar area and possibly further endangering you and your family because this guy is PMSing.

Calling the Sheriff was also a good move just in case things had escalated into a violent encounter where you had to use force etc. It shows you at least tried not to take matters into your own hands first without making an effort to contact authorities.

I take matters like this very serious especially with child/wife in the car and it could've turned out very badly for Mr. Hot Rod... It takes a lot of balls to advance on another vehicle with god knows what intentions. As you said this guy has a long history with assault etc and when a person lives their life in this manner it's only a matter of time before someone will get sick of his BS or he'll threaten the wrong person who will "adjust his attitude."
 
#18 ·
I live out in the boonies, its nothing to have to use my high beams to see down the road. There was NOTHING wrong with what she did. She waited until the guy was far enough down the road to turn them back on again. However, I would advise you guys not to drive to your final resting stop if someone is following you. You should have called 911 the moment he got out of his truck then when he started to follow you, you should have drove to the nearest police station. What would have happen if he got really pissy with you and your dad and you guys had to shoot him? That could have been seen as you leading the crazy drive down a trap IMO
 
#22 ·
I think you did great--there are comments about not taking him to your dad's home, BUT, out in the boonies, with Sheriff's Deputies a long way away, it makes sense to get to your dad's place where he will have your back and legal standing on his own property.

This guy is a shooting waiting to happen---he likes to push his weight around (domestic violence, several restraining orders against him, etc) One of these days, this guy is going to push, thinking that he is "really something", and he's going to get a couple of hollow points COM..........
 
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#23 ·
Sounds like the OP might not realize how obnoxious his brights are in the rear-view. Personally I hate being brighted from behind.

Even so, the guy was a jerk, and escalated stuff WAY out of proportion!

Since the OP wants free advice, here's mine: avoid bringing trouble home. The public gas station would do just fine. Good work involving the Sherrif. And, perhaps, give those in front of you a break with the high-beams. It may be technically ok, but its still obnoxious!
 
#24 ·
My "rule of thumb" concerning high beam lights; Oncoming vehicle-if you can discern 2 headlights, dim yours. Approaching another vehicle from behind-when you can discern 2 tail lights, dim your lights. Motorcycles or improperly lit vehicles use your best judgement not to blind or annoy them. Works pretty good for me. He was out of line and you handled the sit. quite well. Glad it did not become violent.
 
#25 ·
Good rule of thumb. I am also seriously annoyed by people using their bright lights behind me. Of course, I would never follow someone home to complain about it, but my rule is that if I can see tail lights or head lights (and I keep a careful eye for the glow of headlights coming over a hill or around a corner), then my brights go off.
 
#26 ·
In retrospect, whats done is done and the only thing that matters is that you and your family are still breathing. Well done.
 
#27 ·
Good overall, you likely avoided an assault. Except you pissed off a criminal nut, and showed him where ya live.Be prepared for a visit.
 
#28 · (Edited)
I cannot believe some of these responses! Perhaps unintentionally, but it seems some of you are justifying this jackasses actions due to obnoxious bright headlights. Give me a break!

These sound like knee-jerk, liberal responses! Blame the headlights, blame the guns, blame the school bullies....When's it gonna end?

If we all travel through this world constantly thinking about and modifying our lives to avoid sending some lunatic over the edge we would have no time to live our lives! You may as well just stay in bed...

To the OP: The only thing that I would have done differently is I would have avoided going to my parents house or anybody's house for that matter. Otherwise, you did great! Don't modify how you use your headlights, if you are within the law your good in my book.
 
#32 ·
If the driver had not put their brights into another driver's eyes, repeatedly, the situation probably would not have escalated. Sorry if you find that bit of reality troubling.
 
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#30 ·
Thank you all for the thoughtful answers. I get the bright lights thing, I really do. As anyone that drives that area knows, deer are abundant, and have caused three wrecks in our family, my wifes last car being one of them, so when we feel like there is enough room we do like to use our high beams. When the guy started slowing down we thought he was looking for a road to turn down, obviously if I had realized what he was aggravated about before he stopped the first time we would have stopped before it became an issue. I am like a lot of people I read about on here, since I started carrying I am much more likely to go way out of my way to avoid trouble than I would have been before.

I get the whole not taking him to our destination thing too, which is why i had him meet us at the end of the drive/gravel road. Theirs is not the only house on their land and from where he stopped you can't see their house or the iother two houses on their place. I felt like at the time, especially not knowing if he had someone else in the car or his intentions, that getting someplace where I had some sort of advantage was better than having my wife and child in the car with him and no place to go if he decided to escalate further. Also the gas station was not an option because it's a one pump hole in the wall that shuts down at dark and this was well after that.

The whole thing really sucked and brought up way more questions about our families plan for situations like this. And I do appreciate all the responses.
 
#31 ·
Few important points were missed here . First off ; 67mph cruise setting on a strange 2 lane road in the dark (head scratch).
What's the legal limit at night ? If this guy caught ya and passed that should have been a clue to leave him alone=potential trouble . When he stopped in the road it was time to turn around and forget the cruise . MAT that sucker until you got back to a populated area while staying on the phone with 911 . Don't take trouble home .
That headlight thing is another sore point for me . 20 years of OTR truckin make me very sensitive to the improper use of high beam lamps . The idea is to share the road .
That said ; if you were my child and called me about the jackwagon chasing and harassing you when you were coming home I
would have done just what your Dad did . I'd have been there for you .
Likely I would have been much less charitable to the jackwagon .
 
#33 ·
Bad situation handled well. Going to Dad's house may not have been the best idea, but it did at least afford you some backup.
 
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