Brittle egos

This is a discussion on Brittle egos within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; My wife, back in the day, had a front license plate which read "THE B****" ...Whenever she heard the "B" word directed toward her, she ...

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  1. #61
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    My wife, back in the day, had a front license plate which read "THE B****"...Whenever she heard the "B" word directed toward her, she always thought it was someone that knew her and just smiled and waved at em!!!

    Oh...btw...when our daughter started kindergarden, we had to reluctantly remove the license plate. We just weren't sure how things would go in the car line!!!!
    Sometimes in life you have to stand your ground. It's a hard lesson to learn and even most adults don't get it, but in the end only I can be responsible for my life. If faced with any type of adversity, only I can overcome it. Waiting for someone else to take responsibility is a long fruitless wait.

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  3. #62
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    Me being an individual that had done some fighting in my younger days. Some justified and (looking back) some just over what I would deem "silly" or totally unimportant these days) ~ I can say that in my case I grew up and will always avoid a confrontation if possible.
    In my past I have won some and got seriously thumped a few times but, Lady Luck ALWAYS has her fickle fingers in EVERY fight and violent encounter.

    Now...I have a Wife and other people who depend on me being around. I have a mortgage payment. I have responsibilities AKA an aging Mother.
    There can also be serious consequences to fighting and escalating a fight as well as completely unexpected consequences when fighting.

    In my younger days I was sitting in a place called Center Road Tavern (drinking a "near" beer) because at the time I was not yet 21. We left to hit this other bar where two guys got into a fight in the parking lot. Some people (sitting in their car in the bar parking lot) who saw the fighting decided to quickly leave before the police arrived...and they were peeling out of the parking lot just as one of the guys who was fighting pushed the other guy and his opponent slid on the gravel...fell..and their vehicle ran over his head and neck.
    Fight over...one guy dead. I have no idea HOW that ultimately turned out.

    That is a prime example of Lady Luck entering into the fight.

    It is possible to deliver a "one punch kill" or you may hit some person (even IF they started the fight) and they could crack their head on the sidewalk or on a curb and then (for sure) you are looking at a civil suit & $$$ spent on an attorney. If that person enters into a coma and then possibly they die...things get more serious yet.

    And then "What If" you're in a "fair fight" and three friends of the guy you're fighting run over and one of them knifes you in the neck? Game over and for what?
    In addition there are surveillance cameras everywhere these days which could be a good or a bad thing depending on who is looking at the VID and what their respective agenda is.

    I will not fight anymore unless I have absolutely no other option and then...look out!

    So I think that Betty and her Hubby were very wise not to allow some name calling by a hothead punk kid possibly radically alter their lives. They have children and aging parents and a mortgage payment...(which is a roof over the heads of their children) Their kids will need both parents growing up.
    Why would anybody jeopardize all of that over a possible escalation of an encounter with some random no-name idiot sporting a loud mouth?

    Folks should always choose their battles carefully.

  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    In my past I have won some and got seriously thumped a few times but, Lady Luck ALWAYS has her fickle fingers in EVERY fight and violent encounter.

    Now...I have a Wife and other people who depend on me being around. I have a mortgage payment. I have responsibilities.
    There can also be serious consequences to fighting and escalating a fight as well as completely unexpected consequences when fighting.

    In my younger days I was sitting in a place called Center Road Tavern (drinking a "near" beer) because at the time I was not yet 21. We left to hit this other bar where two guys got into a fight in the parking lot. Some people (sitting in their car in the bar parking lot) who saw the fighting decided to quickly leave before the police arrived...and they were peeling out of the parking lot just as one of the guys who was fighting pushed the other guy and his opponent slid on the gravel...fell..and their vehicle ran over his head and neck.
    Fight over...one guy dead. I have no idea HOW that ultimately turned out.

    That is a prime example of Lady Luck entering into the fight.
    Wow, that's a scary story.
    QKShooter likes this.
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  5. #64
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    Would I fight because some guy called my wife a bad name? Nope, words are words and are easily ignored. But the moment that he decided to threaten her or offer her the opportunity to fight I will assume that he intends to do her harm and I will step in and explain rather bluntly that he is not going to threaten my wife and that if any fight takes place it would be with me and not her. What happened from there would be on him. If he chooses to fight with me I'm going to defend myself. If he chooses to yell and cuss some more I'll let him. If he wants to walk off that's the best option.

    At the point where he started the threats he had the ability- my wife is a small woman and could easily be hurt by even a below average male. He had the opportunity- he just bumped into her and is still very close. He had the intent- he just told us that he did. That answers any question I have, if things can be avoided they will be. But I won't lose sleep over hurting someone that just threatened my wife.
    mulle46, atctimmy, msb45 and 1 others like this.
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  6. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    Me being an individual that had done some fighting in my younger days. Some justified and (looking back) some just over what I would deem "silly" or totally unimportant these days) ~ I can say that in my case I grew up and will always avoid a confrontation if possible.
    In my past I have won some and got seriously thumped a few times but, Lady Luck ALWAYS has her fickle fingers in EVERY fight and violent encounter.

    Now...I have a Wife and other people who depend on me being around. I have a mortgage payment. I have responsibilities AKA an aging Mother.
    There can also be serious consequences to fighting and escalating a fight as well as completely unexpected consequences when fighting.

    In my younger days I was sitting in a place called Center Road Tavern (drinking a "near" beer) because at the time I was not yet 21. We left to hit this other bar where two guys got into a fight in the parking lot. Some people (sitting in their car in the bar parking lot) who saw the fighting decided to quickly leave before the police arrived...and they were peeling out of the parking lot just as one of the guys who was fighting pushed the other guy and his opponent slid on the gravel...fell..and their vehicle ran over his head and neck.
    Fight over...one guy dead. I have no idea HOW that ultimately turned out.

    That is a prime example of Lady Luck entering into the fight.

    It is possible to deliver a "one punch kill" or you may hit some person (even IF they started the fight) and they could crack their head on the sidewalk or on a curb and then (for sure) you are looking at a civil suit & $$$ spent on an attorney. If that person enters into a coma and then possibly they die...things get more serious yet.

    And then "What If" you're in a "fair fight" and three friends of the guy you're fighting run over and one of them knifes you in the neck? Game over and for what?
    In addition there are surveillance cameras everywhere these days which could be a good or a bad thing depending on who is looking at the VID and what their respective agenda is.

    I will not fight anymore unless I have absolutely no other option and then...look out!

    So I think that Betty and her Hubby were very wise not to allow some name calling by a hothead punk kid possibly radically alter their lives. They have children and aging parents and a mortgage payment...(which is a roof over the heads of their children) Their kids will need both parents growing up.
    Why would anybody jeopardize all of that over a possible escalation of an encounter with some random no-name idiot sporting a loud mouth?

    Folks should always choose their battles carefully.
    A late night flying trip from a roadhouse parking lot to the nearest
    Er with a buddy lying on my back seat holding in his guts with both hands and my shirt wrapped around him gave me reason to think about 'Being in stupid places at stupid times and doing stupid things '.
    My buddy survived with some VERY ugly scars . LEO's got the perp a day or two later . Guy had been out of line enough inside that my buddy felt justified in ringing his bell with a backhand to the mouth . Popular opinion in the bar considered my buddy's action justified .
    >The dissenting vote waited in the dark parking lot until we came out to go home . A matter of seconds for a rush out of the darkness , three swipes of a small sharp knife , and our fun Saturday night was totally ruined .
    QKShooter likes this.

  7. #66
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    Re: Brittle egos

    Another newb here.. but I really must point out that as soon as he resorts to name calling and "calling the wife out" that "can be" and is considered assault in many states... not saying to take his life, or even resort to gun play.. that's insane... however you can address the threat accordingly.

    Think of this.. what if the next woman isn't carrying... its obvious that this individual is an idiot, calling out a woman next to her husband?? Seems suspicious to me... he must be high or stupid.. if nothing else, use your phone and take some trash off the streets for an hour..

    Just my $.02

  8. #67
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    There would be very, very few cases. legally speaking, where a verbal assault of name calling would justify a physical response. Not talking about a threat of personal injury but name calling.
    "A first rate man with a third rate gun is far better than the other way around". The gun is a tool, you are the craftsman that makes it work. There are those who say "if I had to do it, I could" yet they never go out and train to do it. Don't let stupid be your mindset. Harryball 2013

  9. #68
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    Did the husband even respond back?

  10. #69
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    "He actually asked if I wanted to fight him."

    Id say..."Between your short attention span and poor choices in picking fights, you dont have much of a chance either way."
    The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly, is to fill the world with fools.--->Herbert Spencer

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  11. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Betty View Post
    Husband was driving, I was passenger. I wanted to go to TJ Maxx, and we were driving on front of the strip mall stores, slowing down for the speed bumps on front of them. There was a car behind us, and when we slowed down to roll over a bump (we were in a 4x4 Toyota Tacoma at the time, so it wasn't like we were aggravatingly slow), I guess he decided we were too slow and started to pass around us. My husband doesn't notice it right away; he's looking at the road ahead. So the car starts to make his move, but at this point we've rolled over the bump and my husband has started to accelerate again. So now the impatient guy who tried to pass us thinks we deliberately cut him off.
    Quite frankly I think you give your husband too much credit for just being a really nice guy; either that or your ages are in that senior category where alertness is not quite as acute as it once was (I am 71 so I can attest to this). He accelerated alright, just as I would have and I would bet most would have unless, at least in my case, I was CC--I bite my tongue really hard in that case and quell my anger.

  12. #71
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    Betty, IMO you and hubby handled both situations well. This isn't the 40's, 50's or 60's where an insult would have been handled with fist 1 on 1. In todays world, even if guns weren't used, odds are Mr Bigmouth's friends would have probably piled on for a beat down. Even 1 solid punch to the temple area can be fatal.

    As we have talked on here many times. Avoid confrontation if possible, even to the point of someone calling you a coward. Better to be alive and let someone think what they will, than to be dead, or in prison, trying to prove your a man.
    oneshot and msgt/ret like this.
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  13. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by RKflorida View Post
    An insult to my wife however, is entering another realm of reality. I might just do what I stated at the beginning of this post and then when he goes nuts, shoot him. Moral? No. Christian? No. Satisfying? Yes. Let's face it guys, when they close the lid for the last time we will go out with a certain amount of "Kid" left in us that has not been killed by society, family, or the law.

    ^^^Rediculous^^^^^^^^

    You will shoot an idiot ranting and hurling insults at your wife?

    If they call her every name in the book, what you have to ask yourself is this; Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?
    And in the end it really doesn't matter because the fool doesn't know you from Adam, so the best thing to do is to back away slowly.
    If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

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  14. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by 94lt1 View Post
    Another newb here.. but I really must point out that as soon as he resorts to name calling and "calling the wife out" that "can be" and is considered assault in many states... not saying to take his life, or even resort to gun play.. that's insane... however you can address the threat accordingly.

    Think of this.. what if the next woman isn't carrying... its obvious that this individual is an idiot, calling out a woman next to her husband?? Seems suspicious to me... he must be high or stupid.. if nothing else, use your phone and take some trash off the streets for an hour..

    Just my $.02
    ^Most of the time^^^^^^^^^

    These idiots are doing this on purpose, then you are foolish enough to engage them, thinking there is only one, then his homeys pile on an beat you within an inch of your life.
    WALK AWAY!
    If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

    Washington didn't use his freedom of speech to defeat the British, He shot them!

    Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." -- Ernest Benn

  15. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by 94lt1 View Post
    Another newb here.. but I really must point out that as soon as he resorts to name calling and "calling the wife out" that "can be" and is considered assault in many states... not saying to take his life, or even resort to gun play.. that's insane... however you can address the threat accordingly.
    Just my $.02
    It's not about what's legal or what state you're in...it's about choosing not to escalate a situation because someone called your wife a name. Like others have pointed out, if you're carrying, and you choose to punch the dbag in the face, you are now the aggressor. He now has every right to defend himself. If you punch him, and he starts to wail on you, and you're getting your keister handed to you, what then? Draw and shoot? Yeah good luck with that. I'm sure a jury of your peers will love to hear your self defense shooting claim when it was you who resorted to escalating the situation with physical contact.
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  16. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneshot View Post
    ^^^Rediculous^^^^^^^^

    You will shoot an idiot ranting and hurling insults at your wife?

    If they call her every name in the book, what you have to ask yourself is this; Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?
    And in the end it really doesn't matter because the fool doesn't know you from Adam, so the best thing to do is to back away slowly.
    There is a reason that an old proverb not only lasts forever but is true to its core: "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me". There is little doubt in my mind that any of us, if confronted with a moron hurling insults at our wives, would like nothing better than to stick the barrel of our firearm down the moron's throat and watch him wet his pants. Unfortunately, when you are CC you had better learn to leave your testosterone and anger and caveman attitude at home and learn to be an apologetic wuss. If you cannot do this, you will, one day, find yourself in a lot of criminal and/or civil trouble. There is a great leap in responsibility when you are allowed by law to walk around with the capability to kill someone with a weapon on your person. If you escalate a confrontation that should never have been escalated and was never an imminent threat, you have forgotten your responsibility.
    Truckinbutch and oneshot like this.

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