Brittle egos

[Betty]

Two incidents happened over the past few years since I've been away from the forums. Both required to suck it up and move on, which is exactly what needed to be done, no matter how "wronged" we were.

ONE
Husband was driving, I was passenger. I wanted to go to TJ Maxx, and we were driving on front of the strip mall stores, slowing down for the speed bumps on front of them. There was a car behind us, and when we slowed down to roll over a bump (we were in a 4x4 Toyota Tacoma at the time, so it wasn't like we were aggravatingly slow), I guess he decided we were too slow and started to pass around us. My husband doesn't notice it right away; he's looking at the road ahead. So the car starts to make his move, but at this point we've rolled over the bump and my husband has started to accelerate again. So now the impatient guy who tried to pass us thinks we deliberately cut him off. He and his passengers start shouting and making gestures at us, gun it up behind us and make a general show of themselves.

Instead of proceeding ahead to the TJ Maxx parking lot, I say it's time to leave, and my husband turns down the nearest lane and starts to make our way out of the lot. Meanwhile, Mr. Impatient has parked, all three people pile out, and the driver is shouting at us with his hands up in his best thug imitation. His two groupies are being proud that their man is a big stand up man, showing us who's boss.

He has no idea how the turn of events could have been had we also been bad people with easily bruised egos. So I'm sure he feels quite pleased with himself. Like, whatever.

TWO
At the mall of all places. My husband is a big guy. I'm 5 4" 120 pounds soaking wet, and he's around 6', 230. We're holding hands, and ahead of us is a youth of indeterminate age who is not wearing the correct size pants, and he is completely engrossed in his cell phone. He is not looking where he is going. Which was fine, until he changed directions at the last minute like a wayward pigeon, and headed straight for my shoulder. I had a giant immovable wall of husband on one side, which left me two choices: allow myself to be turned into a ping-pong ball, or brace for impact. I chose the latter, and the pigeon bounced off my shoulder, which immediately winged his ego. He finished spinning around, put both his arms up (maybe he was one of the offspring of the guy in the first story?) called me the b-word as loud as he could, and continued to cuss me out on front of all the patrons. He actually asked if I wanted to fight him.

I turned into the nearest store and put the nearest rack of clothes in between me and him if he decided to follow. I looked out the glass store window, and his attention was already back on his cellphone.

This type of person who escalates simple situations into something that could be potentially deadly are everywhere. Had we chosen to park at TJ Maxx or had I turned around and told him to look where he was going, they would not have acknowledged their errors. This type of easily bruised ego doesn't back down.

Always be the better person.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[high pockets]

I only wish I had your patience and forebearance.

Thanks for the post, and for reminding us that being armed means we have to be very careful with our reactions to perceived aggravations.

[Burns]

I found that since I started carrying, things like that, which would have normally bothered me, don't seem to bother me as much anymore. They can act like fools all they want.

It's always good to rant about times like those however (which this forum helps to do a lot). You don't want to keep all that aggravation inside.

[patinthehat]

thats what happens when parents dont punish their kids like they should. they let em get away with whatever and this is the end result. it isn't getting any better so we should prepare for more encounters like these. we must be vigilant more than ever.

[ErnieNWillis]

What did big 230lb hubby do when little punk challenged you to a fight? His butt would have been on the ground with the first obsene word towards my wife.

[OldVet]

In case two, in another time I would have immediately mopped the friggin' floor with the guy had he done that to me or my wife. I'm not so quick triggered these days, but it doesn't take much for the "Terminator" to come out of hibernation. And he's learned a few really nasty tricks since the early days.

Reminds me of the lines from Lonesome Dove: Can't stand rudeness, won't tolerate it.

[rammerjammer]

It's easier to walk away from a fight than it is to get yourself out of one.

[NC Bullseye]

Seems to me that in case two, the young student in life could have been approaching the need of special training aids like a impromptu intro to Fox Labs.

[CJM]

What did big 230lb hubby do when little punk challenged you to a fight? His butt would have been on the ground with the first obsene word towards my wife.

Ok tough guy, you're really gonna risk an assault charge over words? Or is that just the internet talkin'?

[Truckinbutch]

Like other posters , I find myself much more restrained since I began carrying legally . Not so much ,'back in the day', in case #2. I have been known to make up for parental neglect in the manners training department .

[ErnieNWillis]

Ok tough guy, you're really gonna risk an assault charge over words? Or is that just the internet talkin'?

Your right! I am tough and if some d-bag THREATENS my wife physically then he has already shown intent to do harm. I'm in Texas, we do things different here and law enforcement have different attitudes. "Is that the internet talking?" Pff......

[pittypat21]

Ok tough guy, you're really gonna risk an assault charge over words? Or is that just the internet talkin'?

If somebody called my wife the b-word I would have had a very difficult time not doing something about it. And that's not just the internet talking. That kind of thing boils my blood. And it's certainly not an ego thing; it's just downright rude and disrespectful to speak that way towards women (especially MY woman).

[1MoreGoodGuy]

Like other posters , I find myself much more restrained since I began carrying legally . Not so much ,'back in the day', in case #2. I have been known to make up for parental neglect in the manners training department .

Me too.

[CJM]

Your right! I am tough and if some d-bag THREATENS my wife physically then he has already shown intent to do harm. I'm in Texas, we do things different here and law enforcement have different attitudes. "Is that the internet talking?" Pff......

So a passing verbal threat constitutes ability, opportunity, and intent? Carrying a gun carries great responsibility. Escalating a situation simply because your ego is bruised shows severe immaturity, and probably compensation for other...shortcomings. Besides, if you're so big and tough, and you attack the dbag that insulted your wife's honor, you've now put the ball in his court for legal self defense. Ever heard of disparity of force?

If somebody called my wife the b-word I would have had a very difficult time not doing something about it. And that's not just the internet talking. That kind of thing boils my blood. And it's certainly not an ego thing; it's just downright rude and disrespectful to speak that way towards women (especially MY woman).

I'm not saying it would be easy to say nothing to the little dirtbag, but when you carry a gun you have to be willing to be the better man and let things go that would have likely resulted in a playground fist fight in elementary school.

[Brad426]

So a passing verbal threat constitutes ability, opportunity, and intent? Carrying a gun carries great responsibility. Escalating a situation simply because your ego is bruised shows severe immaturity, and probably compensation for other...shortcomings. Besides, if you're so big and tough, and you attack the dbag that insulted your wife's honor, you've now put the ball in his court for legal self defense. Ever heard of disparity of force?



I'm not saying it would be easy to say nothing to the little dirtbag, but when you carry a gun you have to be willing to be the better man and let things go that would have likely resulted in a playground fist fight in elementary school.

You are absolutely right of course. Sometimes doing the right thing is overrated, though.