what should i have done

This is a discussion on what should i have done within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Avoiding giving folks the satisfaction of ''getting a rise'' out of us is one of the prerequisites for carry. If we cannot make a quick ...

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Thread: what should i have done

  1. #16
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    Avoiding giving folks the satisfaction of ''getting a rise'' out of us is one of the prerequisites for carry. If we cannot make a quick retreat then perhaps pretend deaf - busy - whatever.

    Avoidance and de-escalation are where at all possible the first and hopefully only options we consider. Some of these dipsticks are out for the satisfaction they can get from yanking chains - and some will also easily go beyond that into violence if they feel there is any ''disrespect'' etc.

    Carry almost means feeling like we have to be cowards - but no, it's actually discretion and good responsible sense.
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  3. #17
    Member Array Jason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hurst1911a1 View Post
    it is sad that we are at the point were we just have to fold every time these people want to act like jerks...
    Why is it you feel it is folding to hold yourself to a higher standard and have more respect for yourself and your wife?

    What hurt do words inflict? The ego is but an imaginary object that gets us in trouble. Words only have the power we give them.

    I have no problem defending myself or my wife with my SIG, but I do have a problem injuring or killing someone over a word.

    I find that I have even more patience when I am with my wife or children. I would never forgive myself if my ego caused them to get hurt.

    So for next time, just take a deep breath and walk on, and you'll do fine.

  4. #18
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    Different Reaction...

    One could have just turned around and looked to see who they were really talking to...pretending to act as the message MUST have been for someone else?
    I would have not made any jestures, but I certainly understand how one can easily get sucked into an 'exchange'...
    Having a CCW requires one to be a 'step above' when it comes to a potential argument on the street...
    Walk away at all costs...

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  5. #19
    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hurst1911a1 View Post
    i am white, they were black, but if it was anything racial, it was on their part
    That was exactly what I meant. I didn't mean to imply you had done or said something racist to provoke them. (It's funny how it's deemed by them to be okay. Imagine if you had come back with some sort of racial epithet. You want a guaranteed way to get them to jump on out of the car?!)

    Did anything happen between you and them on the road, perhaps? (Tailgating, cutting off, etc., that might have offended them?) Do you have anything on your vehicle, like a confederate flag, that they might have taken issue with?

    Or does it seem that they were really just randomly picking people to curse out and intimidate?

  6. #20
    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry View Post
    Carry almost means feeling like we have to be cowards - but no, it's actually discretion and good responsible sense.

    Excellent point. I have had to exercise this before, and always got myself to feel kind of proud of having done it.

  7. #21
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    Some people make it their mission to provoke confrontation, and give a good beat down to others who fail to give them their "respect", because they "deserve" it.

    I learned years ago that a lot of these guys stay in bars til the last minute before they close.

    If somebody hears angry words from you, or observes you doing anything other than defensive, if you need to use your pistol, you're good for a manslaughter charge.

    Then you can get lots of practice in conflict avoidance, or brawling.... whichever works better for you.

    --Travis--

  8. #22
    VIP Member Array cphilip's Avatar
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    Yea. I don't see it as folding. I see it as not stooping to their level. I am with the ignore and move away group here. Carrying or not. Makes no difference in the move at that point. It's pointless to argue with a fence post.

  9. #23
    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jason View Post
    What hurt do words inflict? The ego is but an imaginary object that gets us in trouble. Words only have the power we give them.
    That's true in one sense. But in another, the hurt that the actions of these people has caused (the speaking of the words, plus the gestures and demeanor involved, make them actions) is in the fact that the neighborhood is degraded by their presence. It is now known to Hurst and his wife that they are living in an area in which this kind of unprovoked hostility is present.

    I have no problem defending myself or my wife with my SIG, but I do have a problem injuring or killing someone over a word.
    Of course you don't kill over words. But words said to you invite words said back, and if a person chooses to throw an insult back at the original insulter, he is within his right -- even if he is armed. The fact remains, he is armed so that he is prepared to respond to a physical threat.

    If the guys who threw the first insults get, in turn, insulted by Hurst's response, and THEY turn it physical (by getting out of the car and coming over to throw the first blows of an attack) then they are the ones who are wrong, and they are the ones who turn it physical.

    If a guy says to you, at random, " you!" and you look at him like, wha?! and you say, "Well, you, too!" you haven't done anything wrong, and you are certainly not accurately said to be baiting him into a physical altercation. But if he then decides to come to you and throw punches, or take out a knife or gun... then HE'S the one guilty of making this a gunfight, not you.


    So for next time, just take a deep breath and walk on, and you'll do fine.
    Regardless, that is the best advice. Of course, don't turn your back entirely in case they do decide to stop and come after you because your ignoring them is just as insulting to them as if you had swore back...

  10. #24
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    Guys like this are just trying to get rise out of you to make them seem important. move on. Once you show that they have gotten to you, they have got what they were looking for. When you ingnore folks like that, even when they make you mad, You rise above their stupidity. Just an opinion.

  11. #25
    Member Array Jason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peacefuljeffrey View Post
    Regardless, that is the best advice. Of course, don't turn your back entirely in case they do decide to stop and come after you because your ignoring them is just as insulting to them as if you had swore back...
    Yes, one must remain vigilant at all times. To be control of the situation is to be in control of one's own actions.

  12. #26
    Member Array Dihappy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peacefuljeffrey View Post
    Excellent point. I have had to exercise this before, and always got myself to feel kind of proud of having done it.

    Ive been thinking about this ever since i got my license. I would go crazy if someone disrespected my girl as i have had happen once (long time ago).

    Now, i cant help but feel a bit like a wimp if something like that were to ever happen again being that i will have to "shrug it off" or ignore it.

    I just dont want to be put in that situation again.

  13. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dihappy
    Now, i cant help but feel a bit like a wimp if something like that were to ever happen again being that i will have to "shrug it off" or ignore it.
    Ahhh but - for us as CCW's - way better to be a living, breathing whimp - than one with blood on his hands and facing the legal ramifications of a shooting!!

    People who verbally yank our chains are trash - and not deserving of our attentions, whatever they say.
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    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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  14. #28
    Member Array hurst1911a1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peacefuljeffrey View Post
    That was exactly what I meant. I didn't mean to imply you had done or said something racist to provoke them. (It's funny how it's deemed by them to be okay. Imagine if you had come back with some sort of racial epithet. You want a guaranteed way to get them to jump on out of the car?!)

    Did anything happen between you and them on the road, perhaps? (Tailgating, cutting off, etc., that might have offended them?) Do you have anything on your vehicle, like a confederate flag, that they might have taken issue with?

    Or does it seem that they were really just randomly picking people to curse out and intimidate?
    for all i know they didnt even see the vehicle that we got out of, i have only a kimber and glock sticker and a honorably discharged vet tag on the vehicle, and i never saw them on the road, i believe it was purely random

  15. #29
    Member Array xsquidgator's Avatar
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    Most people who go to the trouble of getting a CWP have a lot more to lose than the lowlifes you describe here. As unfair as it seems, the only way you're likely to keep what's important to you (your life, your freedom, job, house, everything) is to not take their bait. Should these scumbags try to prey upon you with something violent or serious, well they'll get a nasty surprise then. For your own good and freedom, don't actually pull out a firearm unless you *really* think you need it.

  16. #30
    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dihappy View Post
    Ive been thinking about this ever since i got my license. I would go crazy if someone disrespected my girl as i have had happen once (long time ago).

    Now, i cant help but feel a bit like a wimp if something like that were to ever happen again being that i will have to "shrug it off" or ignore it.

    I just dont want to be put in that situation again.

    Well, just where are you circulating, that it's an issue that someone may "dis" your girlfriend??

    I mean, I can't think of anywhere I've ever gone where someone started doing some stupid ghetto-like trash-talking about my girlfriend... I think that venues where that is likely to happen are pretty easy to identify and avoid.

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