January 17th, 2013 12:55 PM
Sounds like you need to consult with the State Attorneys office to see what legal action can be taken. Most States have stalking laws and they can help you with that . This is a very dangerous situation for all involved, and I would not take it lightly. Get the professionals involved right away, don't wait for something terrible to happen.
Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunder bolt...... Sun Tzu.
The supreme art of war is to defeat the enemy without fighting........ Sun Tzu.
January 17th, 2013 01:14 PM
Was DB2 a client to your husband prior to him taking the case? Or if the reasons they are clients to begin with in are in relation to the girl, your husband may request to the judge that he is disqualified as an expert witness because of this conflict of interest. Or make it simple and petition to the court for a different counselor to see him. You may to hire an attorney to act as amicus curae to make the case.
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly, is to fill the world with fools.
Springfield xd 45, Sig Sauer SP2022(9mm),Remington 700(.308), Yugo M10 variant w/IZH Kobra optic,...and lots of ammo for all of 'em.
January 17th, 2013 02:45 PM
The clients are the two girls. One is daughter of DB1 and the other of DB2. The mom has them both see my husband for therapy. I believe both dads have some kind of parental rights, which is why DB1 demanded to have updates on his daughter. It's a mess all around, which is what happens when one is not very careful in partner selection.. multiple times....
"Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa
January 17th, 2013 04:08 PM
Betty, that's a pretty worrisome situation and probably more common than anyone would ever think. Good advice and suggestions from everyone. Religiosity is very common in mental illness so I'm not at all surprised about that.
January 17th, 2013 07:49 PM
I think most of the advice given by members is great advice.
I'm curious... Is there a current open case on the family in family court? If so I'd contact the court and arrange for any and all information about the work your husbands doing to be disseminated by the court. Then DB1 will have no legal right to have any contact with your husband. Hopefully your husband can convince the court that DB1 is hindering any progress be's making with the children. And that DB1 is effecting his ability to help the children. While DB1 has a parental right to know whats going on with his children, he can get that information through the court.
If there isnt an open case in family court I'd suggest creating a criminal complaint of harrassment. I'd recomend calling the police and going on the record every time DB1 contacts your husband by phone, or in person. If possible and as someone suggested obtaining a restraining order against DB1, and if possible DB2. I'd also notify the child welfare agency of DB1 and 2 posing a threat to the mental health of the children.
Understand that these two dirt bags probably feel justified in their action... In their own minds. Doing anything other than capitulating may push them to further, and more desperate actions. They could even focus their ire at your husband as the root of their issues. "Everything would be OK if that damn therapist wasnt telling them what to think" kind of logic. So doing something may work, or it may cause the situation to become more desperate. This is something you may want to consider.
I think you and hubby should take this entire situation extremely serious. Up-Gunning is a great idea. Carrying a back-up is IMO a great idea. I'd recomend a few other cautions... Like driving different routes to and fro... Drive around the neighborhood a bit before pulling into your driveway or parking spot... Make a shedual of check with each other calls. **** call before and after each session, and every day at pre-decided times. Like a wellness check. I'm sure there are other members with a lot more security suggestions.
I beg you and husband to take this business very seriously. Create a paper trail of incidents, and document the escalation of harrassment. Watch your backs, and each others backs.
Bless you both, and GOOD LUCK!
January 17th, 2013 09:13 PM
Question for Secret Spuk--- earlier I suggested that they might even consider hiring
a private security firm. Do you think (assuming somehow affordable) that would be wise or unwise,
helpful or a waste of bucks?
If the Union is once severed, the line of separation will grow wider and wider, and the controversies which are now debated and settled in the halls of legislation will then be tried in fields of battle and determined by the sword.
January 17th, 2013 11:07 PM
You might want to have your Hubby do the classic "three right turns" on his way home on days that he is meeting with those girls. That way he can tell if he is being followed to your home.
This might sound somewhat heartless but, sometimes the best thing to do is just to have your husband turn it all over to another mental health therapist since the lowlife dirt-bags have already made it personal between him and them.
Some messy family scenarios can become so screwed up that eventually they will "eat up your happiness" usurp your time and trample on your everyday existence.
It sounds to me like you and your family have put up with enough already. You cannot allow 2 pissed off asshats to drag you all down into a deep hole of worry and despair.
My Niece is in pretty much the same profession but, she mostly works primarily w/ autistic kids.
One child was pretty decent and loving most of the time but, he would have his moments when he would get pretty violent and lash out and start biting with rage.
He was a pretty strong kid also.
She really cared for this kid but after about the 4th time of getting teeth embedded in her skin multiple times per incident...she just had to give him up.
My Niece is a really caring person with a sincere good heart so at the same time it really bothered her a lot that she felt like she was "giving up" on him but...sometimes things just get to the point where it is time to say "enough!"
Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ
January 17th, 2013 11:24 PM
So, I'm the infamous husband being discussed here. I am a child therapist that specializes in working with Autism/Asperger's as well as being able to provide psychological testing to individuals in need.
There are cases that I work both past and present that end up with me being called to the courtroom to testify, and I don't believe this case will end any differently. These are great suggestions that I've heard here so far, and as long as I don't list names there should be no issue with discussing this in the forum but I can see why it was suggested. There is no current open case within the court system, simply things both sides have fought in the past dealing with custody or blaming one another for not caring well enough for the child. There is a detective assigned to the case that I am planning on contacting tomorrow (Friday) that the mother just gave me the information to. Due to the high profile of some of the cases I work with I choose to make sure I am protected while in the office. I have spoken with the owner of the building where I work and there is a great likelihood of them installing a door near the entrance that is controlled by the receptionist, which would enable that person to control who comes in the door.
Thanks for everyone's contribution here!
January 17th, 2013 11:33 PM
Blessings to your niece QK, and throughout the years of me providing therapy I have talked little with my wife about particulars of my clients. I love my wife dearly and would share anything with her, but I know that if I bring my work home with me it will do nothing but harm. I choose to place a boundary between myself and my work, and once I step out of my office my work does not exist (as best as I can make it happen).
Have your niece look up "The Ten Laws of Boundaries" unless she has already heard about it. This is something I teach many of my families and something that helps me too.
January 17th, 2013 11:40 PM
I'm an accountant and I used to do the books for a psychiatric office. Many patients were borderline violent and some of the family members were causing trouble as well. I know the doctors and therapists were very committed to helping their patients, and I'm sure you also feel the need to see this through. I would recommend however that if things get much dicier you find the girls another therapist. In the meantime all the advice given on here has been very good.
For what it's worth, my prayers are with both of you. I sincerely hope everything works out so the girls can get the help they need and you can remain safe.
January 18th, 2013 12:07 AM
January 18th, 2013 12:45 AM
Betty, while your husband may not have grounds for a restraining order at this point, that could change at any time. Documenting any communication he has with DB-1, DB-2 is as important as anything else he does. Take advantage of the fact that your state is a "one party" notification state regarding recording devices and record every phone conversation. Any face to face visits with either DB-1 or DB-2 needs to be documented, and if possible, recorded. Especially if they show up for any unannounced "surprise visits." The court will act with any documented threats against a healthcare professional.
Everyone has offered great advice, and I agree it is a very serious issue which needs your undivided attention.
A couple excellent suggestions already offered would be to have mom sign a HIPAA-compliant record restriction request, as offered by SamRudolph. Also as Secret Spuk has suggested, your husband needs to ascertain as to whether there is an open and ongoing Family Court case, and seek the courts assistance in how to proceed. Especially if he can have the court become responsible for the dissemination of any information regarding the children's therapy the fathers may be entitled to.
At this point, I think you and your husband are proceeding as best you can under the circumstances. I would definitely look into the suggestions which has been offered thus far.
As to hiring personal, private security... That's an expense that usually ends up being short lived. Sure, you can go that route, but it's very expensive if you are going to hire competent professionals who have the resources to provide that level of security.
Unless you're going to go all in, with money being no object, I tend to find that you are just throwing away good money by hiring some sort of Dog the Bounty Hunter type private investigator who offers "armed security" as one of their services. Most of those types who offer Bodyguard services simply don't have the credentials I would consider worth spending my money on.
The ones who are truly capable of that type of service are going to be people who are retired FBI, Secret Service, or retired State Department DS officers. Certainly retired police officers who has a background in executive protection, or security from one of your major sized police departments would qualify as well. They are not cheap, and would probably advise you that you are not ready for their level of protection at this point anyway. BTW, this is just my opinion on the subject of "hired security."
Good luck Betty. Keep us posted as to any pertinent developments.
"The gun is the great equalizer... For it is the gun, that allows the meek to repel the monsters; Whom are bigger, stronger and without conscience, prey on those who without one, would surely perish."
January 18th, 2013 12:58 AM
Off Topic but, in addition to all of this goodly advice that you are getting on a very serious situation ~ I need to offer you up a tiny tidbit of levity.
Do you remember way back and shortly after you joined the forum....one forum member was addressing you as Mrs. Honts?
OK - Back On Topic. Just thought that I would remind you of that little gem of a blast from the past.
January 18th, 2013 01:27 AM
LOL. Sometimes forum names are hard to decipher. I have had a laugh or two myself looking at some of them, and I'm sure getting them wrong. OTH, some of them are rather funny even when interpreted correctly.
Originally Posted by QKShooter
January 18th, 2013 03:08 AM
This soloution may get a bit expensive. Given the Origonal post, and the husbands post I dont believe the situation has risen to the level of hiring extra private security. More than likely all parties will remain within the law. There is a chance things may go sideways... If they do the posters family should be prepared is all. I have no doubt the OP, and hubby are well enough armed to protect themselves. The trick would be to create enough official notice that any violence by DB1, and DB2 would be impractical to a normally thinking person. And to create enough of a paper trail that if GOD forbid things did go sideways the O/P and husband have a well documented case of self defense.
Originally Posted by Hopyard
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