Dirtbag Stalking Husband's Client

Dirtbag Stalking Husband's Client

This is a discussion on Dirtbag Stalking Husband's Client within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; My husband is an LPC (mental health therapist), and he specializes in children - abused, autism spectrum, etc. One of his clients is a girl ...

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  1. #1
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    Dirtbag Stalking Husband's Client

    My husband is an LPC (mental health therapist), and he specializes in children - abused, autism spectrum, etc. One of his clients is a girl who had been abused by her father (let's call him Dirtbag 1 - DB1). It's been an ongoing mess. I don't know the details because of HIPAA, and I don't want to know, either. I don't know how my husband deals with this kind of stuff all day long.

    Anyway, the girl's mom is being stalked by DB1, who is the ex-husband. He even went so far as to use the GPS on her phone to track her movements. The service provider sent an automated text that let her know her phone was being tracked, and that was how she found out. She has since shut off the GPS. This guy has been caught in her front lawn - she has dogs who alerted her. She's called the cops numerous times.

    This entire drama with this family and custody battle has been in and out of the courts, and my husband has been subpoenaed multiple times over this. DB1 is not fond of my husband because of it.

    DB1 has now been trying to stalk her through my husband. A few days ago, he called after hours and left an unpleasant message. He says that as the father, he has the right to know what the treatments/diagnosis are and when his daughter is in therapy. Isn't that nice, to know exactly when the ex-wife and the child are going to be at the therapist's office?

    My husband has to comply with letting him know about the updates on the mental health of the child, but he has not been letting him know when the mom/child are at the office. My husband told him that if he wants to know mental health updates on the child, he will have to make an appointment and pay his full hourly rate. That made DB1 respond, "I'd rather pay for a sinner than the self-righteous." While at first I thought that was a good idea to get him off his back because he doesn't want to pay, on the other hand it puts the bad guy in the same room with my husband, and gives him an excuse to be on the office grounds.

    Now, let's throw in Dirtbag 2. DB2 is the mom's first dirtbag she bred with. So there's another girl, also my husband's client. DB1 and DB2 have decided to start banding together. At this point, they have decided to say mean things to the girls about my husband, which has upset them and made them cry.

    So we've got one confirmed stalker and a second dirtbag who might start some mess, too. Since my husband's office is where the mom and both girls tend to be at on a regular basis, combined with the fact neither men like my husband, it's a sure bet that at least one of these guys are going to be around at some point if this keeps escalating. My husband does have a carry permit and does carry, but he's been pocket carrying a little P32. I've told him it's time to step up. This morning he went out the door with my CZ RAMI, OWB, under his sport coat. And the P32 in his pocket.

    So we've got parking lot and in-office possible scenarios. His office is inside a children's clinic; the main door is not able to be auto locked/opened by the receptionist. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking some creep could be possibly targeting my husband. I have also considered the scenario that that DB1 might even stalk my husband back to our house. The drive from the office to our house is a short one.

    I didn't think about it until after my husband left this morning, but I should have had him give me a full description of the guy. I'll be shooting him a text after I post this...
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array high pockets's Avatar
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    Does TN allow telephone recording? If so, you might want to begin recording your incoming telephone calls. You may be able to get some action if one of the dirtbags makes any threats.
    "If you make something idiot proof, someone will make a better idiot."

    - Anon

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    Before offering advice which I am unable to offer competently, I'd suggest you quickly get the book
    THE GIFT OF FEAR Gavin de Becker. There are checklists of various indicators that will help you assess
    if the behaviors you are seeing are likely to pose a real threat or not. Of course one of the things you both
    must not do is ignore your intuition. It is telling you something, and you already know that.

    I'd still read that book (it won't take you a night if you are serious), and get your husband to read it as well.

    Then you will have some objective professional level understanding with which to evaluate what is going on and
    how to best handle it.

    Your husband is not obligated to treat any one patient. I know its hard to think about dumping the kids who are his
    patients, or the mom, but it could be a situation in which he simply can't continue unless a court arranges
    security for you two and your children.

    Do keep in mind though that even if he stops seeing the kids and the mom, the stalker's hatreds are still there
    and they might not stop.

    The material in the book I mentioned will help you look at this sort of possibility in a realistic way.

    You may sadly need to hire some private security.
    (That's one of the sad side-effects of dealing with crazy people.)
    If the Union is once severed, the line of separation will grow wider and wider, and the controversies which are now debated and settled in the halls of legislation will then be tried in fields of battle and determined by the sword.
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    Senior Member Array palmcoaster's Avatar
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    Smart to be prepared.....just in case. Have authorities been notified?

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    VIP Member Array Madcap_Magician's Avatar
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    Just have mom sign a HIPAA-compliant record restriction request for DB1.
    bigmacque, Bark'n and Phaedrus like this.
    Not my circus, not my monkeys.

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    Being prepared includes more than just hardware, although I commend your encouraging hubby to carry some heavier stuff. But simple things like where he and his clients sit in his office relative to doors and windows should be considered; does he have an anteroom or waiting area that is attended, which doors are locked, is there video surveillance, where does he park - all are elements that should be looked at.

    It's also not out of line for your husband to have a chat with local law enforcement if he thinks he's being stalked in any way. This won't prevent much from happening, but it puts the DB twins' names into their current consciousness - which can't hurt.
    Smitty
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    This could be bad. You and hubby need police involvement now. Get it on record.
    Retired USAF E-8. Lighten up and enjoy life because:
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

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    Let the police know everything that was happened. These two guys could be a lot of trouble for you and your husband. You don't need that problems. Plus you don't want any legal problems from these two guys getting lawyers (for their rights) on their own. So best to have documentation with the police for your records.
    Chaplain Scott and Spade115 like this.

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    My husband is also a member here; I hope he will log in and post. (Honey!)

    I planned the furniture layout of his office when he moved in. There was only so much I could do with the square footage and the amount of stuff that had to go in (had to make space for a whole play therapy area), but I did make sure he has a clear view of the door from his desk and the seat he talks to clients from. No surveillance that I am aware of; there is a waiting room, not sure if it is attended (although I don't expect a receptionist to be able to stop the guy). He and the other therapists just moved into that place; it is a children's clinic that had a lot of extra office space, so they share the same entries.

    He has just given me a clear description of the guy, and everyone at the office has a copy, too. As far as I know, he has let the DA who has been handling the mom's case know everything that's been happening.

    Approximate age: 34
    Height: 5’8 or 5’9
    Physical Description: Short red hair, buzz cut. No facial hair with muscular build. Green or blue colored eyes. Typically wears T-shirts and jeans with tennis shoes. Has a north eastern accent.
    Other descriptions: He is hyper religious and often will quote scripture along with being very judgmental of others. Former alcoholic that says he continues with AA meetings.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

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    VIP Member Array Snub44's Avatar
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    ...in addition to logging every detail as it happens and keeping police filled in if they'll keep making reports, consider that they may decide to trash the house inside or out...and be prepared to repel boarders...audio recordings on phones and video in office if legal...y'all are sitting on a powderkeg...
    Secret Spuk likes this.

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    Sounds like a messy situation. Some things you and husband might want to consider.

    If legal in TN, record all calls from DB1.

    While it really doesn't do anything for safety, file a restraining order/order of protection against him.

    If possible make arrangements for all updates on daughter to be done in writing, with delivery by the courts.
    Secret Spuk likes this.
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    Tenn. Code Ann. 39-13-601: A person who is a party to a wire, oral or electronic communication, or who has obtained the consent of at least one party, can lawfully record a communication and divulge the contents of the recorded communication unless he has a criminal or tortious purpose for doing so. Violations are punishable as felonies with jail sentences of between two and 12 years and fines not exceeding $5,000. Tenn. Code Ann. 39-13-602, 40-35-111.
    Looks like we're good to record.

    I believe the mom already has a restraining order against DB1, which he obviously broke when he was found in her yard.

    My husband, on the other hand, does not have any solid ground yet to get any kind of order against DB1. No actual threats were made against him, he has not been stalked yet that we know of, and no physical harm has come to him. I had to get an order of protection against a boyfriend years ago, and they will not issue one unless there is something seriously active going on.

    I really hate that this woman's poor mate decisions end up affecting everyone around her - her children and now her children's therapist. Some people just don't learn.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

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    Senior Member Array yz9890's Avatar
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    Dirtbag Stalking Husband's Client

    my suggestions;

    1. protect yourself and your family
    2. stop discussing it in a public forum
    3. call attorney
    4. call police

  14. #14
    VIP Member Array BigJon10125's Avatar
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    I got nothing, but good luck. Others have offered great advice. It is a tough profession only made tougher by the outside force. I would do as the others have said and keep constant track of the details updating police with each incident.
    BigJon


    "Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt" ~ Mark Twain

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    Quote Originally Posted by Betty View Post
    I really hate that this woman's poor mate decisions end up affecting everyone around her - her children and now her children's therapist. Some people just don't learn.
    Sorry Betty, but that's kinda of how it works. I can't offer YOU any more advice self defense wise other than keeping your SA up.

    I am sure that if that DB tried messing with you he'd be in for quite the surprise
    A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father.

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