I have a lunatic problem.

I have a lunatic problem.

This is a discussion on I have a lunatic problem. within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; Alrighty here goes. My sister-in-law has a ex husband that is currently battling her for custody. She made some bad choices and got her license ...

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Thread: I have a lunatic problem.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array Macattack's Avatar
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    I have a lunatic problem.

    Alrighty here goes.

    My sister-in-law has a ex husband that is currently battling her for custody. She made some bad choices and got her license suspended so I have been driving her out to drop off and pick up her son for visitation.

    This guy, lets call him Mr D, is quite the lunatic. He constantly goes up to the car and swears at her(in front of her 11 yr old son) when I drop him off/pick him up. We just keep the windows up and ignore him. One day he was extra vicious and said some nasty things to me and my window was down. I shouldn't have but I said with a condescending smile. "Ah, poor little baby, looks like someone needs a nap. Did you go poopy?"

    He turned a weird shade of purple and shouted, "it not gonna be funny when you need to get new tires" (he used to work at les swaub, but got fired for assaulting a fellow employee with a tire iron)

    Seeing that I got to him, I said "ok buddy calm down your all purple"

    Then he said "better keep your son at home"

    I never bring my 2 year old son to these little visits, but Mr D's son has no doubt talked about him.(they love to wrestle)

    That got to me alittle so I asked a cop friend what to do. He said it wasn't an "official threat" and I didn't really have any evidence, but to file a report anyway, just so there is record of the incident. Did it, went on with life.


    Several months later I come back from a vacation to find all four tires on my mothers jeep slashed. I am living with parents while buying a house, but have used the jeep before dropping Mr D's son off. He must have assumed it was my personal car.


    Again, not any proof. Not sure how he knew we were going on vacation, maybe we said something around his son and his son told his dad. I checked it out and its pretty easy to find someones address online, so that's how he figured that out. (we run a home business and our address is out there)


    4 months later, sister in law is about to go to court again and has almost paid all fines and community service and can get her license back, and I will be done dealing with Mr D.

    However, today, as I was dropping him off at our meeting place, he yelled out the window, "hey hows the jeep doing hahahahaha" and sped off.


    I guess its nice to know that it was definately him, and not just someone random or mad at my mother for some reason. And yesterday some one came down our driveway at 1 am but reversed out when the dogs started barking and running up to them (dogs were kenneled the tire slashing night)


    To say the least I am a bit worried about this crazy guy doing something stupid. I definatly shouldn't have pissed him off, but not really sorry I did it.

    Have put up signs (no trespassing, beware of dog, your on camera,etc) and have even put up some security cameras that are infared. My wife is really afraid of this guy and refuses to be left at home alone now.

    Whole situation sucks, thought I would vent and ask for any advice. Thanks guys
    "In those days, there was a lot more respect for other people and it showed in peoples values.... Today the word value means nothing more than something you get on the $1 menu at McDonald's." -BARK'N


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Start running a video recorder as you pull up and leave it running until you leave. Let him plainly see you are recording the entire interaction. Security cameras, police follow-up, get your wife trained and licensed to carry. That's about all you can do.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array Macattack's Avatar
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    Oh yes, taking the wife out to shoot this weekend. Have a berretta neos that she can use for home defense(she is uber afraid of recoil and not really a fan of shooting.) At least its something I guess. I would prefer a twenty gauge or 38 revolver or something, but we are working on that.

    Oh yeah forgot to mention, on one of the drop offs, after we left the infamous Mr D was walking his beagle puppy, got mad at it and either kicked it to death or unconscious and threw it in the back of his car with his son watching. Several people witnessed it and called in with his license plate and his description. They are currently working up a case against him, but he has moved and they are having trouble locating him for questioning.

    Sigh, karma needs to hurry up.
    "In those days, there was a lot more respect for other people and it showed in peoples values.... Today the word value means nothing more than something you get on the $1 menu at McDonald's." -BARK'N

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array Macattack's Avatar
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    good idea on the video camera, we have used hidden microphones, but they only work so-so. I do have a lot of tape of him cursing us out. We now park further away at the transfer spot to reduce problems.

    I know my wife, she won't ccw. Maybe oc spray....
    "In those days, there was a lot more respect for other people and it showed in peoples values.... Today the word value means nothing more than something you get on the $1 menu at McDonald's." -BARK'N

  5. #5
    Member Array DannyB1954's Avatar
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    Where I live restraining orders are not hard to get.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array Macattack's Avatar
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    Good idea, looking into it tomorrow. Unfortunatley without me as driver, she cannot see her kid(he has primary custody for now due to those bad choices she made I mentioned earlier) Would a restraining order prevent me from driving to the meeting place or what? I guess i'll find out for sure tomarrow. Thanks
    "In those days, there was a lot more respect for other people and it showed in peoples values.... Today the word value means nothing more than something you get on the $1 menu at McDonald's." -BARK'N

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array Ghost1958's Avatar
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    Ive dealt with this sort of thing. First dont take the sister in law along to make the exchanges. Her presence practically ensures he will make a show of himself.
    When I was in this situation he would never do it when I was in ear shot but Id get the story after we left.
    Just take the child with you alone do the exchange and leave. I was a bit more direct on my first exchange with the dude that I would suggest you be, but I got the point across that things would be civil when we did them for his sons sake if nothing else.

    Second youve taken all kinds of home precautions. This guy is a blow hard coward or he would have tried to yank you out of the car when you ticked him off instead of sneaking around slashing your tires. I highly doubt he could be paid to come to your home with anyone there. But I guess there is that chance. Arm your wife, show her how to use the weapon, tell her to have no contact with the guy if he shows up at the door and if hes stupid enough to force his way in.......what happens to him after that is on him not her.

    And kudos to you my friend. Your a much more patient man than I am.

    Edit i didnt see the dog thing as I was typing my post. This guy is definitely someone with a bad temper but to scared to do anything to anyone or anything he thinks might do something back.
    Spade115, mkh and HardBall like this.
    " It is sad governments are chief'ed by the double tongues." quote Ten Bears Movie Outlaw Josie Wales

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    Member Array the6shooter's Avatar
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    You might look at a good taser, for the wife. A good taser will drop him like a tree. thats to go with the oc spray.

  9. #9
    New Member Array RugerP95Lady's Avatar
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    I do have a suggestion for you, yu now know you have a wack o on your hands, you also know u can predict his actions, the best thing is do nothing at all, because if you do all you are doing is fueling the fire, if you have a confrontation with him say nothing at all to him, no matter what hes says to you, if you file a restraining order against him that will just piss him off more, but if he does threaten you again take it seriously it sounds like he will follow thru with it, like I said dont do anything and dont say anything to him no matter what hes says to you, yu could record him next time you have to meet up with him, but for every action there is a reaction and thats what he is looking for a reaction from you and then he will act on it, but if he continues to do things call the police so you have a report. but be careful not to piss him off. he wants to be in control. I am reading a book thats called the "the gift of fear" by Gaven De Becker, its a really good book, it talks about people like that, and how to predict their actions, and talks about your fear and gut feelings. good luck,

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array Ghost1958's Avatar
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    Personally I guess im old school but I think not getting out adjusting his attitude for talking to woman like that in front of a kid is probably why hes not meek as a lamb now. Reaction is the last thing this guy wants. Lack of it encourages him because he takes it as fear. But thats just me and my ramblings. And Im not repeat not suggesting you do anything now.
    Spade115 likes this.
    " It is sad governments are chief'ed by the double tongues." quote Ten Bears Movie Outlaw Josie Wales

  11. #11
    Member Array AZ_Larz_NY's Avatar
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    Wow, you are in a tough situation. All I can say is my family comes first above everything! I will do WHATEVER it takes to protect them and have in the past, although it was not as bad as the situation you are in. You need to think how far you want to go with this and what consequences are worth it for what you may or may not do.
    You can tell he has a violent streak, is a sneaky *******, and will do things to hurt you at least financially.
    Good luck!


    Be safe!
    NEVER point a gun at something you are not prepared to destroy!
    AND for GODS sake, get your finger off the trigger until you are ready to squeeze the trigger!

  12. #12
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    Some good suggestions, the only thing I could think of to add is to carry a voice activated recorder that way when he starts to spout off you have it recorded for further evidence.
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the6shooter View Post
    You might look at a good taser, for the wife. A good taser will drop him like a tree. thats to go with the oc spray.
    It's winter time heavy clothing,tasers are not 100% effective and you want her to let him get close enough to deploy a taser or OC spray,Even LEO's either have somebody standing by ready to use lethal force or are prepared to employ their own sidearm if option #1 fails
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  14. #14
    Member Array BelaOkmyx's Avatar
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    Whatever you do, do not get out of the car to confront him! Once you get out of the car it is no longer seen as him assaulting you but both of you voluntarily going at it, and if a gun were to go off or something you would not be in a good position. Also there's a woman and child on the scene and you wouldn't want any violence to be breaking out.

    On the other hand, if he assaults you, the restraining order becomes real easy, and he might just lose custody too.

    Being the guy has a history of violence and he sees you with his ex-wife, there's a chance he might try to retaliate by going after your wife so arming her is an excellent idea. The 20-gauge and revolver are good choices. Also consider a 22LR rifle if she is completely terrified of the recoil.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Array deafdave3's Avatar
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    Fix your tires.

    Do nothing and say nothing.

    Either leave the dogs loose on your property, or call 911 when someone uninvited shows up. Keep 911 on phone while conversing with 911 operator. If he goes inside your house, warn him twice before using deadly force. Check Washington laws first about home intrusion, though. Its a bit different here in Texas.
    3wggl and Spade115 like this.
    A CCW is like a parachute; if you need one, and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again.

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