Scenario: Why I did not get involved

This is a discussion on Scenario: Why I did not get involved within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; This incident happened when I was in college. I was sitting in my vehicle in the parking lot of my small, private college while I ...

Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Scenario: Why I did not get involved

  1. #1
    VIP Member
    Array Betty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Nashville-ish
    Posts
    3,199

    Scenario: Why I did not get involved

    This incident happened when I was in college. I was sitting in my vehicle in the parking lot of my small, private college while I waited for a friend of mine.

    A car pulls up and parks next to me. A blond girl in her early 20s is sitting there, and she looks distressed. Something was not right, because she was not a student of my college (my school is that small). A couple minutes later, another car pulls up, blocking her vehicle. A big guy gets out, storms over to car, and leans in her window. He\'s right in between me and her. My antennae are fully up now.

    \"What the f* are you doing here?\" he says.
    \"What the f* are you doing here?\" she says.
    \"Get outta the f\'in car and come over here and talk to me, b*\" he says.
    \"F* of you a*, I don\'t wanna talk to your sorry a*.\"

    Neither of them have any clue I\'m sitting in my vehicle right next to them, because I was reclined in my bench seat and didn\'t budge.

    I hadn\'t had my carry permit for long. My K40 is in the glove compartment (I have a really cool school president who says it\'s fine).

    He leans in her open window and unlocks the door. I sit up straight. If there\'s a scuffle, I was contemplating opening my door, ramming it right into him. She exited the vehicle and walked over to his car with him. He was wrenching her arm.

    They\'re both profusely cursing at each other.

    He has his hand around her throat now. He wasn\'t choking her, it was more intimidation and dominance. I was sitting bolt upright now, and my adrenaline started to pump. Should I get out and shout at him? Honk? Call the police? Get my gun and do what next?

    He suddenly looked straight over at me and stopped talking. He suddenly realized that I had been watching the entire time, and I was staring intently at him. I think my hand might\'ve been on the door. He let go of her throat.

    I saw my friend pulling into the lot.

    They exchanged a few more unsavory words with each other, and then he got into his car and left.

    I saw the girl talk to my friend for a few minutes, and then she left. When I asked my friend about what happened, she said the girl was an aquaintance of hers and was there to borrow money from her. Her (obviously) psycho ex-boyfriend stalks her, and this kind of confrontation was apparently not the first. She says her acquiantance isn\'t so smart and she doesn\'t want to have much to do with her.

    A couple months later, my friend updated me on the story. The two had some more reconciliations and break-ups, the most recent was him peeping through her windows and then storming away, and she chasing him across the yard and hitting him. He wheels around and forces her to her knees and sticks a gun to her head. He threatens her and leaves.

    -----

    So I hope you can see why I did not get involved. I will help those in need, because if I was in need and unable to help myself, I would appreciate aid. I wouldn\'t walk away from woman being raped or a person caught in a car accident.

    The issue here was if the person wanted aid.

    It\'s hard to determine something like that, and it\'s hard to determine what exactly is going on in a scenario you don\'t know all the details of. But when I saw that man walk up to her window and her demeanor matched his, I felt that there was more here than an innocent victim being confronted by an angry man. I\'ve heard enough stories from cops about responding to a domestic violence incident, and the victim attacking them as they try to drag her attacker away. And I felt that was going to happen here.

    If it turned into a fight, I would\'ve called the police, but as for actual physical intervention, I\'ll have to answer that if I\'m ever in that situation again.

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    Senior Member
    Array FortyFive's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    868
    Its a tough world out there sometimes Betty, we cannot fix everyone\'s problem and I sometimes apply that to my kids. They have to take their own load and same for everyone else out there, we are not the cops etc. I don\'t mean to present a harsh stance but rather there are just so many people today with God knows many problems. I can draw a dirty look just for holding a door open for a lady, I look at my wife as to say what did I do. People are people and those getting voilent I don\'t want to be near, you just never know how you get introduced to their ill conceived effort. ;)

  4. #3
    Member Array scbair's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    97
    I once walked around a corner just in time to see a guy deck a woman. I yelled, \"Stop.\" He turned toward me, glared and drew a straight razor from his pocket. Suddenly, he stopped, smiled disarmingly, and dropped the razor (I suspect because he took into account the badge and revolver I displayed simultaneously :kay:). Turned out to be a \"domestic dispute\" (big surprise ), and \"no harm done, heh, heh...

    Since I witnessed the assault, charges were pressed, but this was one of a number of incidents that led me to be VERY cautious regarding intervening in others'\"affairs\" (pun intended). My chosen course of action is to let the parties know I\'m there and they\'ve been seen. If I come under attack, I\'ll retreat or defend, as circumstances dictate (I\'m old, with bad knees; really can\'t run too effectively). Otherwise, I\'ll summon the police, but would only consider intervening under truly dire circumstances.

    On the other hand, I\'m unlikely to stand idly by while someone gets stabbed repeatedly (a la the Kitty Genovese incident) ...

  5. #4
    VIP Member
    Array Betty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Nashville-ish
    Posts
    3,199
    On the other hand, I\'m unlikely to stand idly by while someone gets stabbed repeatedly (a la the Kitty Genovese incident) ...
    That incident, and the non-reactions of everyone around, will always disgust me.

  6. #5
    Membership Revoked Array clubsoda22's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    177
    getting involved doesn\'t neccecarily mean entering a situation guns blazing. Making it known you are there is generally all that is needed.

    A gun instructor told me this one:

    It was a police scenario. The officer hears yelling and screaming and he enters the room to find on man standing over another beating him with a baseball bat. In many situations the cop in training would shoot when the attacker did not comply. There was so much adrenaline the trainee often failed to relaize the man who was doing the beating was yelling \"You raped my 12 year old daughter.\"

  7. #6
    Member Array chameleon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    75
    Betty, you did the best thing.
    That girl still loves that guy, and you won\'t change a thing!
    If you went to hurt the guy, she\'d bash you!(Opps,I forgot who I was talking to, she\'d TRY to bash you)
    Remember the chemically imbalanced, and we are not going to figure them out.

    I just got back from a run to the Emergency Dept. with a crisus intervention patient.
    He was about six people in one. One of him bit two people, and another person in side was sorry, and another wanted to kill everybody, and still another wanted to kill himself.I feel bad, but what can we do but care for them.
    He, and his other egos finally calmed down, and he didn\'t need to be restrained.

  8. #7
    DC Founder
    Array Bumper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    20,045
    Originally posted by Betty
    I\'ve heard enough stories from cops about responding to a domestic violence incident, and the victim attacking them as they try to drag her attacker away.
    It happens quite often, too. I was involved in two in one night where I got beat and spit on while I tried to arrest the husband after the wife called the police in the first place. I hated to respond to domestic calls more than any other type of call. You never knew what you were walking into. I would be hard pressed to get involved in any domestic situation as a civilian with a CCW permit.

  9. #8
    Senior Member
    Array APachon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    1,091
    I got into a fight for stepping into a domestic somewhere near Baker CA. Not a pretty situation either. I heard some cussing and told myself to ignore it and then heard a serious punch landed and what sounded like a bag hit the floor.

    To be exact. I was tired and had not eaten breakfast and was enroute to SD to pick up some friends to head to Mexico for some much needed surfing (no pistols on board). I pull up to a Carl\'s Junior (I just love their commercials) and as I park mytruck I hop out and notice a couple get out of an F250 that is crazy lifted and has every noticeabel part chromed. The gent (sarcasm) yells at his gf/fiance/wife,\"why the fook can\'t you wait till we get to Vegas to take a goddam piss and have a bite to eat, I just fed you a few miles back.\" I am thinking to myself; what a loser. I leave it be. I guess the truck had a tonneau cover such that the guy had to lwoer the tail gate to access something he needed. Well the tow hitch was in an elevated postion. Right now I am pretty much alongside the two of them and slowly walking by. The guy lowers the tailgate quickly and the elevated tow-hitch dents the heck out of his tailgate. He starts cursing up a storm and then yells at the lady why the F*&k didn\'t you remind me the tow-hitch was so F-ing high. Then he punches her. At this I can no longer let this slide (I know I really need to get over this) I make a B-line for the guy and quickly assess my target and size up my adversary. He looks and takes a quick punch with a slight connection but mostly a grazer. I return the favor with an elbow well placed and slightly disassemble his jaw. He drops to the ground and a few seconds later or so it felt CHP show up. I am thinking I am soo hosed. I show my Military Id card and the cop gives me a salty salute and wishes me a fond vacation after getting some bio info. Betty, I completely know what you mean. You never knwo what you are getting yourself into when you open yourself to other\'s personal affairs. My problem is my mom raised me to never let a woman get hit by a man so long as I was capable of doing something.

    ~A

  10. #9
    Membership Revoked Array clubsoda22's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    177
    APachon, in my mind you did the right thing. You witnessed the situation and identified the guy as a scumbag who beats women and put him in his place.

    I worked with a medic who was pretty burned out after 14 years as a medic and 10 as a cop. It was his last week before moving to VA to become a full time cop. Let me say he has no sympathy for domestic abusers. Responded to the local jail for some wife beating ***** who the police hosed with OC. The cop gave him the story and he walked into the cell.

    \"so what\'s your problem?\"
    \"My eyes! My eyes! you gotta wash \'em out!\"

    I\'ll be damned if he didn\'t grab the guy stuff his head in the cell toilet and give him a swirlie.

    Cop chucked, \"i didn\'t see it\"

  11. #10
    Member Array BushidoMarine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Kawasaki, Japan
    Posts
    233
    Originally posted by clubsoda22
    I worked with a medic who was pretty burned out after 14 years as a medic and 10 as a cop. It was his last week before moving to VA to become a full time cop. Let me say he has no sympathy for domestic abusers. Responded to the local jail for some wife beating ***** who the police hosed with OC. The cop gave him the story and he walked into the cell.

    \"so what\'s your problem?\"
    \"My eyes! My eyes! you gotta wash \'em out!\"

    I\'ll be damned if he didn\'t grab the guy stuff his head in the cell toilet and give him a swirlie.

    Cop chucked, \"i didn\'t see it\"
    Sometimes there is Justice in the world!! :P :kay:

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. Should You Act? - Get Involved Or Get Away?
    By Gabe Suarez in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: February 16th, 2011, 03:58 PM
  2. Do i get involved???
    By AllAbtSlfDef in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: May 17th, 2010, 07:58 AM
  3. Involved or Not Involved
    By boerep in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 99
    Last Post: July 22nd, 2009, 03:52 PM
  4. Scenario: Tactical scenario, true story
    By Hotelcharlie in forum Carry & Defensive Scenarios
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: February 24th, 2005, 01:38 PM