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This is a discussion on Rehearsing Scenarios within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; First a brief description of myself. I am 75 years old, artificial left leg (BK), and have rheumatoid arthritis. I feel when I am out ...
First a brief description of myself. I am 75 years old, artificial left leg (BK), and have rheumatoid arthritis. I feel when I am out and about I am a prime candidate for a mugging or worse, that's why I decided to CC some time ago. Now my situation is that I take this CC very seriously and occasionally mention different scenarios to my live in girlfriend of 13 years. She does not take it seriously, laughs, and calls my attempts at "how to respond" play acting. When I confront her with the seriousness of the situations we could face, she halfheartedly agrees but still continues to joke about it. I feel that I have to let her know her part in a confrontational scenario but I can't seem to get her serious attention.
Anyone else here have that problem ? If so, how did you handle it ?
I actually think you are correct. My wife married me early into my law enforcement career and learned that whilst we were together she had a part to play. When we added children to the equation it made things drive home more solidly. I explained it to her like this....."if you don't know what to do you place me in more danger if things turn south. It makes things nearly impossible for me to respond to a threat AND tend to you and the kids at the same time. If my attention is on you and the kids, even just giving you verbal instructions, my attention is not fully on the threat that I have to deal with."
A couple of times in the past things have come up that have shown her the logic behind putting forethought it how an unarmed person should react when with an armed family member. I hope your girlfriend sees the benefits of this as well.....and soon.
U.S. Army Desert Storm Veteran
Certified Police Firearms Instructor
Former US Customs Blue Lighting Strike Force Commissioned Officer
Advanced Highway Drug Interdiction Specialist
Graduate Regional Counter Drug Training Academy
Graduate of Bullet Proof Mind Course - (Dave Grossman Course)
Your idea is actually a very good idea. Even military and LE will practice and rehearse for missions or situations that they may face.
Back in the early 90's we made a mock set up of the American Embassy in Liberia using chairs, boxes, ropes and anything we could find on the ship to simulate doors, halls, walls, ect, an hour before we boarded our CH-53.
Scenario training for a known or expected situation is good conditioning.
" Blessed is that man, who when facing death, thinks only of his front sight"
Start simple. When in the car, tell her you're going to call 'danger' or something and her role is to get out her cell phone and pretend to dial 911, and get out the camera and video and report to you the license number of the car in front.
At home, call 'danger' and have her get her cell and do the pretend 911 and find your empty backup gun with a carefully placed snapcap and bring it to you from the bedroom safe (for example).
Have a small bag of Reeses' pieces and give her one for each successful attempt. If she giggles she doesn't get one.
My wife doesn't want to be included in my planning either.
So, I plan around her. It almost makes it easier to know that she has no responsibility, and knowing her, I know she'll panic if something bad does happen, so I can plan accordingly.
'Clinging to my guns and religion
You are correct in trying to rehearse some possible scenarios.
Often times "laughter" and mockery of something can be used to avoid a situation and may be a way to mask fear. Just a thought.
I've been thinking about SD for 35 years and my fairly recent conclusion is that solo SD is pretty much a wash. You -need- to partner up. Note that in the old days this saved many a police officer. Real, serious, dangerous SD, involving real predators is something even the trained single (solo) LAC is not equipped on several levels, with which to cope.
...with obvious physical problems, and having attained a "mature" age, we are surely attractive to those weasels who prey on those weaker than themselves...
...our concealed weapon is our Ace in the hole, but repelling an attack and letting the weasel know that we are NOT his target begins way before the draw...
...being alert and aware of those approaching, looking around even while talking to a particular person, and looking the weasel right in the eye are all things he doesn't want to see...I often speak to him as he approaches...eye-to-eye...he'd prefer someone who ducked down and was afraid to look at him...pausing in your speech as you look at him also sends the "not me" message...as does slipping your hand in a pocket...whether that's where your gun is or not...he knows you've noticed him, you've not shown fear, and you seem to have a plan...
...as far as scenarios...my wife...forget it...she doesn't want to think that way...my 3 sons, since they were 8 or 10 and learned to shoot...I taught the how, when, and why as a package...many scenarios...they would come back to me a day or so later and ask a question or offer an idea...most of them good ones...that showed they were "cooking" what we'd talked about...
...I worked graveyards...and in the dead night I'd tell my rookies story after story and what-if them till their ears bled...the result was that we worked together smoothly...knew what each other was likely to do, and made fewer mistakes...must have taken...every one of them is retired safely...and healthy...
...I'd keep gently trying to help your wife learn....letting her know that you take your responsibility to keep her safe and you safe for her benefit very seriously...she may warm up to the ideas you have...in the meantime...make plans that don't rely on her to help...
You can do years of force-on-force and still be overwhelmed, caught unprepared, taken off balance. To me such training is the extra 5%, useful, yes, but you're better served doing the basics. Live in a safe area, have layered alarms, locks and maybe a dog, lock bedroom door (to slow them down), have speed dial and take your phone into the bedroom, trim shrubbery, do a little scenario running and assign reasonable tasks to your mate. I think it would be the rare person who would not at least practice dialing a phone, or keeping a look out.
When out of the home, accept store assistance when loading your car, do the three S rule. It should be a very rare occasion that you need to even think about drawing your firearm in such case. But again, the main thing is to always have it with you. Have your mate check 'dear, did you check that I locked the doors and armed the alarm? Did you bring your pistol in the bedroom? Do you have the emergency cell by the bed?'.
It has little to do with firing a nasty gun, heh, but it's the 85-95% of what works, imo.
OP: Here's one recent course ... Review of Partner Tactics Training Course at Tactical Defense Institute | ThruMyLens .
You're exactly right to point out that self-defense is largely not about a gun, nor accuracy. It's really about mindset, awareness, decisiveness, determination, people-watching skills, situation management, people management and all the rest, leveraging a partner, leveraging the space/tools available ... all of those things other than shooting. Absolutely.
I would advise not to get too worried about it. The big point here is that you are talking about it. You may be surprised how much she retains if/when the time comes. One way that parents are encouraged to train children is to make a game out of it and make it fun and not so serious. They are still getting the information. The same is true for her. Is it ideal? No. But it's better than dropping the subjects all together.
Tell her what you want to do. Let her laugh it off. Keep telling her. Let her laugh it off. When the time comes you very well may see her snap into action and do exactly what you've been telling her to do all along. Again, it's not as perfect as getting her involved and working the scenarios with you but it can be effective and way better than continuing to press the issue to the point where she tells you to shut up about it. Then you are shutting down the whole operation.
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I am 65 wife is 62 and we practice. If one of us sees a problem or something to worry us we mention lemonade. This is the word that makes the other person look around and become aware of the perceived problem. If we both agree this could be a problem we seperate and find a reasonable cover until the problem passes. We each have things to do in different scenarios I won't bore you with the whole plan.
Sitting at lunch the game begins did you see the lady with the neck tattoo? Yes I did ?? was she carrying a purse, What color was her dress etc. it makes us aware and observant and it is a lot of fun trying to out do each other on what we see and look for.
75 and a girlfriend of 13 years don't screw it up over this! just my thoughts.