Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

This is a discussion on Stupid, stupid, stupid! within the Carry & Defensive Scenarios forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; I'm taking a few minutes away from kicking myself over something that just happened that could have been potentially very serious to share in the ...

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Thread: Stupid, stupid, stupid!

  1. #1
    Member Array Orangeman's Avatar
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    Stupid, stupid, stupid!

    I'm taking a few minutes away from kicking myself over something that just happened that could have been potentially very serious to share in the hope there will be some redeeming value in this incident. Before it was over I let a talkative, odd stranger in a poorly lit parking lot get within three feet of me and my wife with his hands in his pockets and have us in a vulnerable spot we've worked hard to avoid.

    It began when my wife and I took an overnight motorcycle trip and were staying in a typical motel near a typical interstate exit with a few restaurants nearby.
    After eating and finishing about 7:30p.m. we walked to our bike not far from the front door while talking about the rest of the evening. As we were starting to get our gear on an older guy wearing shorts and a grubby tank top came out from around one of the nearby cars and then started to walk our way. My wife saw him and said something because I had looked back at the bike in a moment of being completely oblivious ( mistake 1). Then as I looked up and realized he had gotten closer the guy mentioned the motorcycle and asked what kind it was. Like an idiot I began babbling like a 10 year old explaining what it was (mistake 2).

    He began some story about being with the Hell's Angels as a kid in California and he threw in some specifics about dirt tracking bikes that I know from experience had some validity. But after about 30 seconds it was clear there was something else going on here. By then I literally had my hand on my glock 30 in a IWB holster under my leather vest and was watching his hands closely. My wife also had on her Uncle Mike's fanny pack with her S&W snubbie in it and quietly unzipped it just in case.

    As the guy was continuing to talk and I was telling him we had to go my wife stepped back and scanned the parking lot for anyone else who might be with this guy, then she feigned a cell phone call from our daughter, saying we need to get going. (If you're thinking she was more situationally aware than the guy who reads Defensivecarry.com several times a week, you're right!).

    Fortunately I had already started the bike and we were able to hop on quickly and get out of there.
    The last thing the guy said was 'Are you from around here? Where are you staying?' It was a bit comical when I told him we lived nearby and then my wife and I pointed in opposite directions and said we were headed home.

    So did we survive? Yes but it was more luck than situational skill. I'm going back to square one on the training because I definitely missed a chapter or three. In the meantime I'm keeping my wife close by. Turns out she's pretty sharp!
    357and40, tdave, Aceoky and 4 others like this.
    The pen may be mightier than the sword, but a .45 caliber sword on the right hip can come in pretty handy sometime.


  2. #2
    Distinguished Member Array ArkhmAsylm's Avatar
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    So...did you find your way home??


    Luckily, it was one of those 'live and learn' situations. Stop kicking yourself and remember to use the force next time.
    Chaplain Scott likes this.
    "Historical examination of the right to bear arms, from English antecedents to the drafting of the Second Amendment, bears proof that the right to bear arms has consistently been, and should still be, construed as an individual right." -- U.S. District Judge Sam Cummings, Re: U.S. vs Emerson (1999)

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Guy: "So, do you live around here?"
    You: "No. Cuba. That ride across the channel is tricky."

    Living in Florida going on 2 years now, I've been approached by more bums here than in the rest of my life. I've learned to cut them off quick: "I'm in a hurry, gotta go." or hold my hand up and say "Sorry, I can't help you." I'm a right friendly old cuss and enjoy conversing, but you just can't tell about people anymore. Gotta cut them off quick and get the heck outta dodge.
    Darrow75, mook012, Tzadik and 2 others like this.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  4. #4
    Distinguished Member Array Bill MO's Avatar
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    There is THAT time when you got had. Yes you where in a poorly lit parking lot and should have been on high alert. But instead your head was some place else. And this is why I say no matter how good you think you are "you can be had"

    But look on the bright side you got out of it without getting killed or having to kill anyone else. Learn from it and move on.
    It's gotta be who you are, not a hobby. reinman45

    "Is this persons bad behavior worth me having to kill them over?" Guantes

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array Badey's Avatar
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    No one can be situationally aware 24/7. We all have lapses.

    Did you learn from it? Sounds like it. That's what matters, IMO.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free
    blitzburgh and Aceoky like this.
    Though defensive violence will always be a sad necessity in the eyes of men of principle, it would be still more unfortunate if wrongdoers should dominate just men -St. Augustine

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array Darrow75's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    Guy: "So, do you live around here?"
    You: "No. Cuba. That ride across the channel is tricky."

    Living in Florida going on 2 years now, I've been approached by more bums here than in the rest of my life. I've learned to cut them off quick: "I'm in a hurry, gotta go." or hold my hand up and say "Sorry, I can't help you." I'm a right friendly old cuss and enjoy conversing, but you just can't tell about people anymore. Gotta cut them off quick and get the heck outta dodge.
    You should see Denver...more bums than I ever saw...even more than in Chicago. Lots of aggressive ones too. Throws them off a bit if you ask THEM for a dollar before they can ask you.
    BugDude, Tzadik, Aceoky and 1 others like this.

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    That "interviewer" seems to have been just a tad inept. But you were being evaluated as "food," no doubt about it.

    Good eye, steps. About as good as you can do in the situation, short of being a bit firmer on maintaining distance and shutting down the conversation. No need to coddle a clear threat with niceties. No need to worry about avoiding seeming rude or insensitive.
    mook012, pilot101 and Aceoky like this.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Array patri0t's Avatar
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    It seems you need to seriously work on situational awareness and detail. Otherwise, since you and wife were both armed and working in concert, the situation was still in control.
    Maybe a bit of a proximity issue there as well, but you will have to set your own comfort tolerances regarding that limit.

    Awareness takes much practice. In LE training, during a boring lecture, a couple 'perps' would run in the door shoot/stab the trainer and run out.
    We'd all have to write a very detailed report including every detail of description, including exact times. We were pathetic and were told so in very certain terms.

    So, I practiced. My wife would ask me ten questions about the cashier who checked us out of the store we left 10 minutes ago.
    Describe the cars parked around us at the Dr office we just left. Describe what our guests were wearing at our house last night.
    She was good and I never had a clue what she might ask.
    It takes a long time to get in the habit of paying attention to every detail of your day, but practice pays off, but is never over. A LOT of work, too, but so many things do become habit.
    You need to set limits and find 'firm-but-polite' ways to tell folks to NOT come any closer... or to STOP conversing with you, etc., etc., etc., while being careful not to overly offend some sociopath.

    Some of my favorites are, "Don't speak to me, Please." and "Step away from me, Please".
    If I have to repeat myself, it is with a much harsher tone of voice and extended eye contact. (very difficult for most people).
    ccw9mm, Hoganbeg and BadgerJ like this.

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darrow75 View Post
    You should see Denver...more bums than I ever saw...even more than in Chicago. Lots of aggressive ones too. Throws them off a bit if you ask THEM for a dollar before they can ask you.
    I'll have to try that next time!!! Next time someone starts approaching me, I'll ask THEM for a dollar. I'll probably just cut them off and say "No, move on!" but I'd like to think I might try that some time.
    Darrow75 likes this.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    I'll have to try that next time!!! Next time someone starts approaching me, I'll ask THEM for a dollar. I'll probably just cut them off and say "No, move on!" but I'd like to think I might try that some time.
    Isn't there a possibility that if you ask them for a dollar it might give them an excuse to put their hand in their pocket and pull out THEIR gun before you have yours out? Just asking.
    Poorly, Aceoky and oldnfat like this.
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  11. #11
    VIP Member Array 9MMare's Avatar
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    Hey, you identified a likely threat in time to take some action and got yourselves out of there. THat's more than most people could do.

    And you will be more alert next time. Nice work on your wife's part!
    Aceoky likes this.
    Fortune favors the bold.

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    The thing about "defense" is that it has practically nothing to do with guns. (As passed on by CCW9MM)

  12. #12
    Distinguished Member Array Hoganbeg's Avatar
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    Unless it's a cold night don't hesitate to tell him he's making you nervous and to slowly take his hands out of his pockets. Also, it's a good time for the wife and you to put some distance between you sothat the person has to split his attention. How about casually putting the bike between you and him as he approaches? If nothing else, it becomes a psychological barrier but it also prevents him from lunging right up to you.

    Don't beat yourself up. You survived and are asking all the right questions.

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Well, if you had had a Glock you.....wait, you did have a Glock.

    I agree with everyone else. Everyone has lapses and fortunately nothing untoward really happened. Use it as a learning experience for the next time. To be sure, the next time something like this happens, you are definitely going to handle it differently. I wish I had a girlfriend/wife who was as in tune as yours was. Mine would have, well, let's not even go there.

    I certainly benefited from your experience. So, thank you.
    BadgerJ likes this.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

  14. #14
    Distinguished Member Array Chaplain Scott's Avatar
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    Ah--it seems to me that you and your wife make a pretty good team.
    Aceoky likes this.
    Scott, US Army 1974-2004

    Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.
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  15. #15
    VIP Member Array 357and40's Avatar
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    Sounds like you need to buy your wife a VERY nice firearm, an expensive dinner, and a night on the town as a result of showing you how it is done.

    You got what they call "a keeper."
    BadgerJ likes this.
    "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
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