It got hairy at my husband's office

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Thread: It got hairy at my husband's office

  1. #1
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    It got hairy at my husband's office

    Everybody's ok, nobody got shot (yet). My husband is a mental health therapist and works with a lot of kids, some of them abused by relatives. One case is a nasty one with custody issues. The mom takes the kid in for counseling, and the dad had been in contact with my husband demanding all the therapy notes for his child to use in court. Since the dad is the parent, my husband is obligated to comply.

    This guy has started to do some stalking of my husband's business and business partner (BP). We can't exactly prove it, but there were two suspicious incidents. The first was a suspicious vehicle in the parking lot. The business is one of 5 one-story offices in the same building, and the lot is small. In fact, the businesses are the type that ours is the only one that gets constant traffic in and out, so vehicles are noticeable. When the BP described the vehicle to the kid's mom, the mom said it matched exactly the description of the dad's brother's vehicle. The second was a conversation the BP had with the dad. He was describing how he took his kid to see my husband at a previous office location and described the area, including businesses around there. The thing is - my husband HAS NEVER HAD AN OFFICE THERE! The location description matches the area WHERE THE BP LIVES. The BP didn't quite get it at first, until afterwards my husband told her he never had an office there or saw the dad with the kid. And the BP had upset the dad on a previous occasion (she doesn't take crap from anyone, and when someone tries to be manipulative - like some parents in therapy do - she will come right back at them). And then it struck her, the man described the area around her apartment complex! Was the man mistaken and confused, or was he making a passive-aggressive threat? We don't know for sure.

    I thought it was a good idea to start a paper trail, anyway. So they went to the police station (several doors down from their office, yay) and filed a suspicious person report from the parking lot incident and to introduce themselves, since they are a new local business. And I'm glad they did.

    Well today my husband texts me. The dad came unannounced into the office. We just brought on a receptionist (the BP's daughter). I don't know if you guys remember my older thread on setting up security in the office (and I don't have much time to search and link it), but we were not going to install the system where people are locked out until buzzed in until we had a receptionist to operate it. We do have a video surveillance of the waiting room/front door that links to a monitor to my husband's office. And both my husband and the BP are armed.

    I don't know all the details yet and won't until my husband comes home, but apparently the dad knew his ex and child were going to have an appointment there. They were not there yet, thank goodness. The man was belligerent and demanded he stay to be a part and that he had rights to be there. He was asked repeatedly to leave, which he ignored and apparently escalated by getting louder and more demanding. They called the police, and my husband called the mom and child to let them know to stay away until it was all over. The police came over, the guy kept acting defiant and was red-faced mad, stating he was calling his lawyer. He left, and the cops said they were just short of arresting him.

    A couple days ago we had called a company to come out to discuss installing the door entry system so the receptionist can buzz people in (or leave them locked out) . They are coming over today.

    I'm trying to see if the receptionist is willing to arm herself with at least a Taser C2, which I think is a suitable choice for an office setting for a non-firearm person. She's a sweet girl, a bit quiet and reserved, and short. In other words, she looks like an easy pushover. If she's anything like her mom, that won't be the case.

    I have the man's name, photo and vehicle description if he wants to get real cute and show up in my cul-de-sac. This is the second time I've had to be on the lookout for one of my husband's nutbags.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array Taurahe's Avatar
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    Your husband has an obligation to the safety of his staff and himself. You need to convince your husband that he needs law enforcement involvement, immediately. These situations can quickly escalate beyond his or anyone elses control. If something were to happen, the first question asked will be was there any suspicious behavior, and when you say yes, the second question will be, did you contact the police. It is not the job of your husband or yourself to prove anything. That is the job of the police. He may be doing this to his ex as well, and two and two will always make four.

    Do yourself a favor, speak to the police ASAP. even if they cant do anything right now, it may help later down the road if something were to happen, either to your husband or anyone else.
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    VIP Member Array mprp's Avatar
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    Best of luck with all of that Betty. Really, some people get as dangerous as they are unpredictable. I'm sure that you're husband is doing the best as he can as far as any precautions. And yeah, good call on the paper trail at least.
    BenGoodLuck and gatorbait51 like this.
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    Sounds like you're covering the bases well - initiating contact with the PD, in particular. That's a critical step that I think is often overlooked. Another good element is that you're somewhat of an objective observer, since you're connected via your husband but not actually there and part of the operation. Hopefully you can remain objective and assess if the nutjob escalates his aggressive activities, which hubby and the BP might not, because they're right there.

    Methinks the belligerent dad needs therapy at least as much as the kid.
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    Member Array d2jlking's Avatar
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    Can your husband get a restraining order? Get this guy in the system and out of your lives!! Godspeed
    "What country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance. Let them take arms."
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    You are taking the right steps, Betty. Continue to document everything this guy does and don't be afraid to call the police each time he refuses to leave or acts in any other manner than can possibly escalate.
    Ben

    Cogito, ergo armatum sum. I think, therefore I am armed. (Don Mann, The Modern Day Gunslinger; the ultimate handgun training manual)


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    Quote Originally Posted by BenGoodLuck View Post
    You are taking the right steps, Betty. Continue to document everything this guy does and don't be afraid to call the police each time he refuses to leave or acts in any other manner than can possibly escalate.
    If you have a video surveillance system I would save or make copies of his every appearance.
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    My husband is bringing home the Memory card from the surveillance so I can make copies. The police have been involved in every step over this guy, so we have a lovely paper trail started. I don't know all the details of everything that happened today, but we did discuss restraining order during our texting when he went over to the PD later to get a copy of the report.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

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    Post the office as private property. Next time he shows up he gets arrested.

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    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    I hope it works out OK. I was stalked by a nutjob employee I had to fire one time. He started showing up at places me and my family were at and then riding by my house. It stopped once I started open carrying (this was in Virginia several years ago).

    Is it intimidating to be married to a mental health professional? I mean, I can think back to all the times I've asked my wife "have you lost your mind?" That would take on an entirely different meaning if I were a therapist. Does he ever respond to you with "how does that make you feel?" just to mess with you? I worked in a hospital that had a psych unit and I had to deal with the psych docs all the time and I used to ask them "how does that make you feel" all the time and they would just look at me like I was crazy.
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    New Member Array Patterson911's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    Is it intimidating to be married to a mental health professional? I mean, I can think back to all the times I've asked my wife "have you lost your mind?" That would take on an entirely different meaning if I were a therapist. Does he ever respond to you with "how does that make you feel?" just to mess with you? I worked in a hospital that had a psych unit and I had to deal with the psych docs all the time and I used to ask them "how does that make you feel" all the time and they would just look at me like I was crazy.
    My only regret is that I have but only 1 "like" to give. :) In all seriousness, though, it seems like you are handling the situation well. I would take a look at the posts with the highest "likes" at the end of the day and consider the advice. I really have nothing else to add; there is a lot of good advice on here I agree with, though.

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    Sounds like a stressful situation. Stay sharp and safe.
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    VIP Member Array BigJon10125's Avatar
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    Best of luck to you guys Betty. Sounds like you are doing all the right things. Sorry you get to deal with this. Should make your hubby proud that he is obviously helping mother and child out. Good for both of you. Stay safe
    Aceoky likes this.
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    Gee, I wonder where the kid got it from?
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    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    Is it intimidating to be married to a mental health professional? I mean, I can think back to all the times I've asked my wife "have you lost your mind?" That would take on an entirely different meaning if I were a therapist. Does he ever respond to you with "how does that make you feel?" just to mess with you? I worked in a hospital that had a psych unit and I had to deal with the psych docs all the time and I used to ask them "how does that make you feel" all the time and they would just look at me like I was crazy.
    At one point in time both my son AND his wife were mental health care professionals. That made for extremely interesting "marital confrontations!"

    They are both in different fields now but still use some of the same terminology.
    Betty likes this.
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